Survivor Live, Episode 8
Survivor: Fiji – Survivor Live, Episode 8 by Brian Towers -- 04/11/2007 So much about Lisi’s experiences on Survivor: Fiji made little sense to many viewers. Can an hour of grilling on Survivor: Live shed any light on matters? Survivor: Live is CBS’s webcast phone-in show that features an interview with the last player booted from Survivor: Fiji. Hosted by Dalton Ross of Entertainment Weekly and Jenna Morasca, the sole survivor of Survivor: Amazon, this week’s guest is a gal who quit so often, she even quit on quitting – Lisi Linares. First up, as usual, is my trivia question. Mookie is the second person to possess a hidden immunity idol without having gone to Exile Island. Who was the first? Drag your cursor between the square brackets to see the answer. < The first was Survivor: Guatemala’s Gary Hogeboom/Hawkins. There was no Exile Island that season! > The show opens with the Jenna telling us that she’s celebrating Passover with Ethan. This is no mean feat for someone as enamored of culinary satisfactions as she! The hosts go on to say that the last couple of shows have been good ones. Dalton is almost giddy, basking in the glow of his man Earl’s excellent performance last night. Jenna confesses she had some anxious moments over the near-elimination of her own pick-to-win, Dreamz. Lisi is brought on camera, and except for being all scrubbed up, looks about the same as we remember her. Bypassing all preliminaries, Dalton immediately asks her, “What the hell happened out there?” She puts the blame on Exile Island. Her feelings were, “I can’t do this any more, it wasn’t fun, and I just didn’t care, and that’s it!” She says she doesn’t have a specific fear of snakes but didn’t like those highly-venomous snakes. Oddly stated, but I’d call that a very valid fear. Lisi was enjoying the game before the twist, especially her alliance that “kept me sheltered.” She felt she was “coasting through the game,” but confirms for Jenna that it really was Exile Island that did her in. Dalton offers that Lisi is so emotional anyway, she was unable to hold things in. When she hit a rocky patch, she told them all about it. Lisi agrees, saying she was just being herself. Lisi claims her alliance was fine with how she acted. The first time she came back from Exile Island, Edgardo told her to hang in there to insure Rocky was the one voted out next. She complied, but the return visit was too much for her. We’ve seen Exile Island take a toll on players before, but I think this is the first time it actually drove a player right out of the game. Lisi saw giving up the locale of the hidden immunity idol as an equalizer for her mates losing her vote in future Tribal Councils, because she was taking herself out of the game. Jenna expresses her surprise that Mookie is the one holding the idol and suspects he may use it himself before he really needs it. Remember, Mookie actually found the idol, and an Insider clip confirms that one of the guys offered to hold it and Mookie politely declined. Lisi is also surprised Mookie is the one holding the idol – her intention was to give it to Alex and Edgardo. Well, so much for that plan! Lisi says the boys never told her they found the idol, but after she told them the clues she felt they were even. She even says she wasn’t interested if they found it. Lisi says she really wasn’t asleep for all that digging. It makes me wonder why she wasted energy digging herself later on, and no one asks about that. The first caller today is Jerry from California, with many questions. He noticed her “positive body language seemed lacking” as the show went on. Second, why did she give up the idol? Third, would she do Survivor again? Taking the questions in reverse order, Lisi says, “I would do it again if it wasn’t a game.” No, really, she said that! She goes on to explain that she liked the survival and camping aspects, but not the game play. Perhaps the OLN channel has shows that would be more to her tastes. Addressing the body language part of the question, Lisi says that once she didn’t feel up to the game any more, she started to slouch. She adds that as far as she is concerned, the show was edited “as it happened,” she was shown as she is. Clips of Lisi quitting and then not quitting are run. Dalton asks Lisi if, during Tribal Council, did she think she had a chance of surviving the vote? The reply is, “No. I was trying to be dramatic, I was trying to have fun with my exit.” Jenna asks Lisi if maybe they got so spoiled at Moto with the great alliance, food, and shelter, and that the twist wrecked the game for her when she found out how hard the game can really be. Lisi says, “Totally.” She goes on to indicate that the twist was completely unanticipated and threw them for a loop. That’s not universal; we’ve seen earlier clips of Moto members saying things along the lines of, “This is great, but man, it can’t last.” Lisi tells us there was even a sewing machine at Moto but they never really used it. The next question is from young Will in Pennsylvania. School’s out, so I expect a lot of kids will be calling in today. He asks if Lisi were still in the game and the merge was next, would she stay with Ravu or go back to Moto? Lisi says she trusted Stacy and Boo the most, and had made a pact with Boo earlier on, so she’d try and ally with them again. Paula in Kansas City asks Lisi, “Once you found that Mookie had the hidden immunity idol in his possession, did you feel silly saying he’d have to get up early to fool a cat like you?” Lisi thought she was being cute, since she had been the one who had told them where to dig. Is she that good an actress? Jenna comments about how easily the boys found the hidden idol. She remembers Yau-Man digging for the hidden idol unsuccessfully in the same general area. Lisi points out you could be two feet away and not find it, and Dalton adds that back then, Yau-Man had no decent tools to dig with. I guess these tools turned up at the merge feast along with the fishing gear, because they’re certainly new to the Ravu camp. Jenna asks Lisi if Survivor was “just way too serious a game for you.” She replies, “Yeah.” Dalton mentions that some people come incredibly ready to play the game – he mentions Rob Cesternino by name. I remember avid Wanda from Survivor: Palau was extremely prepared as well. Dalton makes the statement to Lisi, “You clearly seemed like someone that was not a fan of the game and never really watched or paid that much attention to it, especially the strategic elements. Is that fair?” Lisi responds, “Yes, that’s fair, I can’t argue with that. I went into it to have fun, to see how Lisi would go through this madness.” Lisi never expected to win. Jenna suspects Lisi was overwhelmed to discover certain game aspects (like having to vote people off) were too much for her. Lisi agrees. Dalton makes fun of his own time on Exile Island. He relates that he felt like a loser and a moron, because he ate inedible fruit, couldn’t make fire, and when he tried to build a shelter he dug up fire ants instead. Dalton introduces a new feature, called “The Slo-Mo Clip of the Week.” It even comes with graphics! It’s Dreamz’s back-flip, at the reward challenge (which was amusingly titled, like the episode itself, “So You Think You Can Meke”). They even run it backwards. It’s an impressive move in both directions. Lisi says Dreamz “just didn’t get me. Some things I talked to him about, it went straight over his head.” Jenna wonders if he’s just there to have fun, but she says, “No! He was all about, how can I get my million dollars, totally.” Dalton can see Dreamz wanting to win, but doesn’t think he’s a student of the game either. Lisi says Dreamz knows the game well. Describing Dreamz, she says, “Mentally, he’s very young.” He was put off that Lisi was taking the game lightly and he didn’t get her innuendos and silliness. Segment two begins with the DVD Blast game challenge! Unimpeded by expense, there’s even an introductory graphic for this feature too! Dalton is sure he won’t win because he chokes under pressure and never remembers names, plus Jenna has played the game before. One of today’s callers will win a Blast game, to be awarded at the discretion of the winner of this challenge. Lisi is designated the scorekeeper. Questions are read by Probst (on tape). Pictures come up with one castaway missing, though their clothes and other items are shown as clues, and the objective is to identify the missing player. Here’s how it went: I have no idea here. It’s Kim Johnson from Survivor: Africa, and Jenna gets it, though she struggles with the surname. Rupert from Survivor: All-Stars. Both know right away, but Jenna gets it by a split-second. It’s Superpole Sean, from Season One. Jenna said Sean, but says she meant someone else. Dalton guesses Elisabeth Hasslebeck and I thought it was too, but switches to the correct name – it’s the ever-present Stephenie Lagrossa! Ethan. “That is NOT fair!” insists an outraged Dalton. Jenna says, “I’m crushing you!” Challenge over, and Lisi says the score is 4-1. Turning to Dalton, she anoints him with the sobriquet, “Loser!” So, Jenna will be awarding a Blast game to an upcoming caller. Sarah in North Carolina suspects Lisi’s biggest regret was offering to quit so openly and asks what he second biggest regret is. Lisi disagrees, saying she has no regrets and she’s happy with how things went. I suspect she may regret that she had to go to Exile Island so often! Leslie from Canada asks if Dreamz’s reaction to her wanting to go home had any impact on her decision to try and stay at the last minute. “None… I just wanted to create some drama,” she repeats. Jenna inquires, “You were pulling a trick on your friends?” Yup! Chris of Michigan wonders why Lisi took up a valued slot on the show when she had no intention of really playing the game. Fair question, but unsurprisingly, it doesn’t win him a buff. Lisi doesn’t apologize for the producer’s choosing her. Jenna adds that along with the intense fans of the show, there’s always some who are there for the experience (like Shawna from her Amazon season) who aren’t there to win. Lisi says she’d have regretted it if she hadn’t played, and just because she’s not “a quote-unquote Survivor” didn’t affecting her decision. My opinion, I don’t say every player has to be an avid student of the game, but you should be able to pass a simple quiz to show you watched at least three different seasons, including a recent one. There are just too many people out there who would do almost anything to get a chance to play. The clip of the hidden idol find on Ravu is run. It was so funny, Lisi sitting up and casually watching an unaware Mookie quietly smooth over the dig site. Dalton isn’t sure why Alex and Edgardo shared the info with Mookie. Lisi doesn’t either, and now Mookie is controlling the idol. Jenna suspects that three sharing the hidden idol can only lead to trouble. Lisi relates that Edgardo wanted to expand the alliance beyond five people and she didn’t. Lisi felt if too many people got involved, it’s like too many chefs making a stew. Dalton figures that Mookie had no options in the game, so even without a share in the idol, he’s still interested in joining their alliance. Jenna notes Mookie dictating the rules of how it will be shared. I suspect Alex and Edgardo don’t really have a hidden idol they can count on. Jenna says it will be interesting how it plays out with both tribes having an idol right before the merge. Youngish Molly from New York City asks about Yau-Man doing so well in the challenges. Lisi was digging it; he was analyzing the challenges scientifically. Ha! No doubt fulfilling thousands of requests sent to Jenna’s MySpace page, we next see a shirtless picture of Yau-Man, all oiled up for the slide challenge a few weeks back. So cute! Next, we see video of him finding the idol and tongue-wise, excitedly imitating Gene Simmons. Good times! Dalton notes that Yau-Man has shown how brain can overcome brawn in this game, and that no one is mocking Yau-Man now. Lisi says, “These muscle bound boys… when their mentality is letting them down, they’re screwed!” The next segment is called “Probst’s Thoughts,” where a message is played that Jeff Probst recorded for the departing contestant. Jeff says, “Lisi. You are nuts! Certifiable, put you in a rubber room, nuts! And I say that with love. Lisi, from the get go, I knew you were going to be a star on this show, and you didn’t disappoint. You have a way of saying whatever is on your mind without filtering it and then figuring out how to get out of what you just said… You never disappointed, you were always gold.” He concludes, “I hope you’re laughing right now, because I don’t mean you’re really certifiable. Well actually, I dunno, maybe a mild prescription might help. Something to think about?” Lisi is indeed laughing and says, “That is fun. You see, that is what it was all about.” Jenna agrees that Lisi was an interesting character to cast, and that we love our villains even more than our heroes. Dalton says that last season, Yul showed us the game is all about diplomacy, so when someone with “no diplomatic skills whatsoever, with Lisi, who’s just going to let it rip, you’re going to get something out of it.” Lisi says, “Dreamz has really, really bad diplomacy skills. I don’t think I’m that bad a diplomat. I got myself into this alliance because these people knew I was loyal. You have to measure what you say. You don’t have to undermine your honesty, you just have to know when to say certain things.” And, I might add, when not to. Dalton points out the irony that unlike Rocky, who dissed others, Lisi got in trouble for dissing herself. No… calling the others “losers” is pretty much exactly what Rocky was doing. Segment three begins with Dalton reporting on a confession Jenna made during the break. She recently played those same Blast questions on a recent American Airlines flight! Dalton takes back the game to give away. With Jenna still claiming victory and Dalton still claiming foul, the final decision is that it will fall to Lisi to award the game to a caller! Ha! Funny stuff! Dalton’s “minus 10” feature is next. This is where he reads ten rapid-fire categories for the guest to comment on, each in ten words or less. Here’s how it went: 10. Exile Island – Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hell. 9. Liliana – Diabolical Mexican mind 8. Hidden immunity idol – Great trinket 7. Scottish terriers – Love, love. (Accusingly) you reminded me he’s not here! 6. Quitting – The thing to do when you’ve had it! 5. Psychics – Psychics rock 4. Ravu – Sleeping on palm fronds sucks 3. Challenges – Are fun when you’re not in them! 2. Dreamz – You are a grown man. Consider a name change! 1. Underground Retro-punk – That is what I am! Despite using her fingers to count words, Lisi rambled on for questions seven and eight and got buzzed by the producers. Very young Cody in Maryland asks why Lisi called the tribe losers when she was part of it. Lisi patiently explains she felt bad these strong boys lost and she had to go to Exile Island. Samantha in Ohio has a knock-knock joke for us. It’s “Ether” at the door. When Jenna says, “Ether who?” Samantha says, “Ether Bunny!” And that, my friends, wins Samantha a Blast game! I have no words, so let’s move along, people. Nothing to see here but a whimpering man. Caller Samantha’s actual question is to ask how hard it was for Lisi to see herself on TV. Lisi says, “It has a lot to do with you being comfortable with yourself… it was all me… you have to let it go and have fun.” Well said, that one I’m buying. Dalton admits he was screaming at the TV half the time Lisi was on. He’s pleased that Lisi is not blaming the editing like so many others have. Jerri Manthey is one such name he mentions. Jenna says, “It’s not the editing, Jerri Manthey,” and poked fun at herself for having also done stupid things. At least Jenna freely owns up to those moments, so good for her on that. Jay from Jax asks Lisi how far she might have gone in the game, had she stayed. Lisi says that had she not had “a crack attack,” she assumes the original five Moto would reunite at the merge and it could have gone well from there. But it was no fun any more and she couldn’t drag up the effort to continue. Dalton has video of the immunity challenge run (it was called “Warrior’s Choice”), where Yau-Man excelled. Edgardo, not so much. Dalton mentions that when you profess expertise, you set yourself up for a fall. He recalls rafter Kelly Wiglesworth being out-rowed by water-fearing Gervais in the first season. Jenna remembers she had to throw a spear in her season, and it was hard to throw it with any accuracy. Lisi points out how calm the other tribe was during the challenge and says it’s not coincidence that Boo is always on the winning team. Noting how he stays cool, Lisi calls him the cohesive one. When he had advice during a challenge, he didn’t scream it out but kept a level tone. Lisi relates that Boo has many girl friends, but says, “You know, we slept together on the beach!” The first night, before the shelter was built, the two of them slept together on the beach on a mat, rather than be in the cave. Why, what were you thinking? This is a family website! Gigi in Oklahoma asks Lisi about her and Stacy being mean and unkind to Dreamz. I’m going to tell you up front that this response is utter gibberish, so here’s her full reply, quoted. Lisi explains, “At Tribal Council when we voted off Liliana, he started going off about, ‘There’s a Latin alliance going on.’ Meanwhile…” That thought is abruptly abandoned as Lisi shifts gears and continues in the next breath, “Dreamz is very manipulative, in that if you serve yourself something and you happen to offer (it) to the person next to you, and you don’t offer it to him, even though he’s on the other side of the island, he gets offended. Like, ‘You didn’t offer me this!’ It’s like, ‘You weren’t even around! What am I supposed to do, look for you?’ Then he holds things against you. Kind of (in) a very passive aggressive way.” “And the whole coffee situation is like, “It’s real simple, guys. You boil the water, you put the coffee in the water, you stir it up, and you press it.” I mean, you don’t need to be Yau-Man to figure that out, for God sakes.” Shifting again, she concludes, “I was never mean to Dreamz, we were just playing, this was a game for God’s sake! This is a good kid, he wouldn’t hurt a fly. We were just playing.” End of quote. Well, it’s pretty clear Dreamz and Cassandra were both wasting coffee, so it couldn’t be that obvious how the press was to be used. I am rather disgusted with Lisi at this point. Remind me never to play with her, I don’t like her games. Dalton says, “The coffee thing, it did seem a little more Stacy,” and Lisi quickly agrees. She says, “If we’re going to go down that road, it leads to Stacy.” It’s probably good that it’s time to shift gears and get to one of the regular features. But first, the hosts pretend to bicker again over the Blast results. Dalton insists Jenna is disqualified while Jenna claims a technical victory. Luckily, it’s time for “Jenna Morasca’s Fan Question Of The Week.” It’s from user “SmokeItGood,” who wants to know, “Is your song “Tighty Whities” about a specific child in particular? If so, why haven’t you been arrested yet?” Lisi says the song is addressed to inexperienced young boys who come up to her at her performances. The message is that if you haven’t all these wacky (sexual) experiences listed in the song, you’re too young for her. I think I’m blessed that I don’t know that song. Dalton is now desperate to take a call, any call, just to change the topic. Again. Susan in North Carolina likes Lisi’s spirit and asks whom she connected with the most. Lisi pauses to reflect, so Dalton offers up, “Boo?” and Lisi agrees. She likes his maturity and self-security. Lisi is amazed to discover she is in love with Boo. The network promo is run. It tells us: a mysterious tree-mail sends them to Exile Island and a shocking twist; and Michelle thinks they’ll die. The hosts are sure they won’t die but surmise it would increase ratings. Instead, they figure it’s the merge for sure. Dalton feels they will live at Exile Island, Jenna isn’t so sure, because they need it for exiled players. She’s right on this one. We’re done! Not a minute too soon, from where I sit. I’m no longer interested why she hates Mexicans or thinks five is more than half of ten. Jenna’s dance-out is very energetic this week. CBS Website: Here CBS’s promo items for this week. • A shocking surprise crushes some tribemates and energizes others. • A twist after the immunity challenge leaves tribemates with zero time to deliberate before Tribal Council. How will this affect the vote? • One survivor questions their alliance when a coveted secret is impulsively revealed to them. In Conclusion: About once every season or two I get an email from The Morasca herself. This time she told me, “…the jokes on last week’s Survivor: Live were meant to NOT be funny. Obviously, I'm not doing my stand up routine on Survivor: Live.” My response is that I regret how I’ve lost touch with a couple of factors I used to regard highly, namely nuance and subtlety, and I blame my inability to “get” her shtick on my overexposure to American Idol’s Sanjaya Malakar, who is sledge-hammering my more delicate sensibilities into submission.
Survivor: Fiji – Survivor Live, Episode 8 by Brian Towers -- 04/11/2007 So much about Lisi’s experiences on Survivor: Fiji made little sense to many viewers. Can an hour of grilling on Survivor: Live shed any light on matters? Survivor: Live is CBS’s webcast phone-in show that features an interview with the last player booted from Survivor: Fiji. Hosted by Dalton Ross of Entertainment Weekly and Jenna Morasca, the sole survivor of Survivor: Amazon, this week’s guest is a gal who quit so often, she even quit on quitting – Lisi Linares. First up, as usual, is my trivia question. Mookie is the second person to possess a hidden immunity idol without having gone to Exile Island. Who was the first? Drag your cursor between the square brackets to see the answer. < The first was Survivor: Guatemala’s Gary Hogeboom/Hawkins. There was no Exile Island that season! > The show opens with the Jenna telling us that she’s celebrating Passover with Ethan. This is no mean feat for someone as enamored of culinary satisfactions as she! The hosts go on to say that the last couple of shows have been good ones. Dalton is almost giddy, basking in the glow of his man Earl’s excellent performance last night. Jenna confesses she had some anxious moments over the near-elimination of her own pick-to-win, Dreamz. Lisi is brought on camera, and except for being all scrubbed up, looks about the same as we remember her. Bypassing all preliminaries, Dalton immediately asks her, “What the hell happened out there?” She puts the blame on Exile Island. Her feelings were, “I can’t do this any more, it wasn’t fun, and I just didn’t care, and that’s it!” She says she doesn’t have a specific fear of snakes but didn’t like those highly-venomous snakes. Oddly stated, but I’d call that a very valid fear. Lisi was enjoying the game before the twist, especially her alliance that “kept me sheltered.” She felt she was “coasting through the game,” but confirms for Jenna that it really was Exile Island that did her in. Dalton offers that Lisi is so emotional anyway, she was unable to hold things in. When she hit a rocky patch, she told them all about it. Lisi agrees, saying she was just being herself. Lisi claims her alliance was fine with how she acted. The first time she came back from Exile Island, Edgardo told her to hang in there to insure Rocky was the one voted out next. She complied, but the return visit was too much for her. We’ve seen Exile Island take a toll on players before, but I think this is the first time it actually drove a player right out of the game. Lisi saw giving up the locale of the hidden immunity idol as an equalizer for her mates losing her vote in future Tribal Councils, because she was taking herself out of the game. Jenna expresses her surprise that Mookie is the one holding the idol and suspects he may use it himself before he really needs it. Remember, Mookie actually found the idol, and an Insider clip confirms that one of the guys offered to hold it and Mookie politely declined. Lisi is also surprised Mookie is the one holding the idol – her intention was to give it to Alex and Edgardo. Well, so much for that plan! Lisi says the boys never told her they found the idol, but after she told them the clues she felt they were even. She even says she wasn’t interested if they found it. Lisi says she really wasn’t asleep for all that digging. It makes me wonder why she wasted energy digging herself later on, and no one asks about that. The first caller today is Jerry from California, with many questions. He noticed her “positive body language seemed lacking” as the show went on. Second, why did she give up the idol? Third, would she do Survivor again? Taking the questions in reverse order, Lisi says, “I would do it again if it wasn’t a game.” No, really, she said that! She goes on to explain that she liked the survival and camping aspects, but not the game play. Perhaps the OLN channel has shows that would be more to her tastes. Addressing the body language part of the question, Lisi says that once she didn’t feel up to the game any more, she started to slouch. She adds that as far as she is concerned, the show was edited “as it happened,” she was shown as she is. Clips of Lisi quitting and then not quitting are run. Dalton asks Lisi if, during Tribal Council, did she think she had a chance of surviving the vote? The reply is, “No. I was trying to be dramatic, I was trying to have fun with my exit.” Jenna asks Lisi if maybe they got so spoiled at Moto with the great alliance, food, and shelter, and that the twist wrecked the game for her when she found out how hard the game can really be. Lisi says, “Totally.” She goes on to indicate that the twist was completely unanticipated and threw them for a loop. That’s not universal; we’ve seen earlier clips of Moto members saying things along the lines of, “This is great, but man, it can’t last.” Lisi tells us there was even a sewing machine at Moto but they never really used it. The next question is from young Will in Pennsylvania. School’s out, so I expect a lot of kids will be calling in today. He asks if Lisi were still in the game and the merge was next, would she stay with Ravu or go back to Moto? Lisi says she trusted Stacy and Boo the most, and had made a pact with Boo earlier on, so she’d try and ally with them again. Paula in Kansas City asks Lisi, “Once you found that Mookie had the hidden immunity idol in his possession, did you feel silly saying he’d have to get up early to fool a cat like you?” Lisi thought she was being cute, since she had been the one who had told them where to dig. Is she that good an actress? Jenna comments about how easily the boys found the hidden idol. She remembers Yau-Man digging for the hidden idol unsuccessfully in the same general area. Lisi points out you could be two feet away and not find it, and Dalton adds that back then, Yau-Man had no decent tools to dig with. I guess these tools turned up at the merge feast along with the fishing gear, because they’re certainly new to the Ravu camp. Jenna asks Lisi if Survivor was “just way too serious a game for you.” She replies, “Yeah.” Dalton mentions that some people come incredibly ready to play the game – he mentions Rob Cesternino by name. I remember avid Wanda from Survivor: Palau was extremely prepared as well. Dalton makes the statement to Lisi, “You clearly seemed like someone that was not a fan of the game and never really watched or paid that much attention to it, especially the strategic elements. Is that fair?” Lisi responds, “Yes, that’s fair, I can’t argue with that. I went into it to have fun, to see how Lisi would go through this madness.” Lisi never expected to win. Jenna suspects Lisi was overwhelmed to discover certain game aspects (like having to vote people off) were too much for her. Lisi agrees. Dalton makes fun of his own time on Exile Island. He relates that he felt like a loser and a moron, because he ate inedible fruit, couldn’t make fire, and when he tried to build a shelter he dug up fire ants instead. Dalton introduces a new feature, called “The Slo-Mo Clip of the Week.” It even comes with graphics! It’s Dreamz’s back-flip, at the reward challenge (which was amusingly titled, like the episode itself, “So You Think You Can Meke”). They even run it backwards. It’s an impressive move in both directions. Lisi says Dreamz “just didn’t get me. Some things I talked to him about, it went straight over his head.” Jenna wonders if he’s just there to have fun, but she says, “No! He was all about, how can I get my million dollars, totally.” Dalton can see Dreamz wanting to win, but doesn’t think he’s a student of the game either. Lisi says Dreamz knows the game well. Describing Dreamz, she says, “Mentally, he’s very young.” He was put off that Lisi was taking the game lightly and he didn’t get her innuendos and silliness. Segment two begins with the DVD Blast game challenge! Unimpeded by expense, there’s even an introductory graphic for this feature too! Dalton is sure he won’t win because he chokes under pressure and never remembers names, plus Jenna has played the game before. One of today’s callers will win a Blast game, to be awarded at the discretion of the winner of this challenge. Lisi is designated the scorekeeper. Questions are read by Probst (on tape). Pictures come up with one castaway missing, though their clothes and other items are shown as clues, and the objective is to identify the missing player. Here’s how it went: I have no idea here. It’s Kim Johnson from Survivor: Africa, and Jenna gets it, though she struggles with the surname. Rupert from Survivor: All-Stars. Both know right away, but Jenna gets it by a split-second. It’s Superpole Sean, from Season One. Jenna said Sean, but says she meant someone else. Dalton guesses Elisabeth Hasslebeck and I thought it was too, but switches to the correct name – it’s the ever-present Stephenie Lagrossa! Ethan. “That is NOT fair!” insists an outraged Dalton. Jenna says, “I’m crushing you!” Challenge over, and Lisi says the score is 4-1. Turning to Dalton, she anoints him with the sobriquet, “Loser!” So, Jenna will be awarding a Blast game to an upcoming caller. Sarah in North Carolina suspects Lisi’s biggest regret was offering to quit so openly and asks what he second biggest regret is. Lisi disagrees, saying she has no regrets and she’s happy with how things went. I suspect she may regret that she had to go to Exile Island so often! Leslie from Canada asks if Dreamz’s reaction to her wanting to go home had any impact on her decision to try and stay at the last minute. “None… I just wanted to create some drama,” she repeats. Jenna inquires, “You were pulling a trick on your friends?” Yup! Chris of Michigan wonders why Lisi took up a valued slot on the show when she had no intention of really playing the game. Fair question, but unsurprisingly, it doesn’t win him a buff. Lisi doesn’t apologize for the producer’s choosing her. Jenna adds that along with the intense fans of the show, there’s always some who are there for the experience (like Shawna from her Amazon season) who aren’t there to win. Lisi says she’d have regretted it if she hadn’t played, and just because she’s not “a quote-unquote Survivor” didn’t affecting her decision. My opinion, I don’t say every player has to be an avid student of the game, but you should be able to pass a simple quiz to show you watched at least three different seasons, including a recent one. There are just too many people out there who would do almost anything to get a chance to play. The clip of the hidden idol find on Ravu is run. It was so funny, Lisi sitting up and casually watching an unaware Mookie quietly smooth over the dig site. Dalton isn’t sure why Alex and Edgardo shared the info with Mookie. Lisi doesn’t either, and now Mookie is controlling the idol. Jenna suspects that three sharing the hidden idol can only lead to trouble. Lisi relates that Edgardo wanted to expand the alliance beyond five people and she didn’t. Lisi felt if too many people got involved, it’s like too many chefs making a stew. Dalton figures that Mookie had no options in the game, so even without a share in the idol, he’s still interested in joining their alliance. Jenna notes Mookie dictating the rules of how it will be shared. I suspect Alex and Edgardo don’t really have a hidden idol they can count on. Jenna says it will be interesting how it plays out with both tribes having an idol right before the merge. Youngish Molly from New York City asks about Yau-Man doing so well in the challenges. Lisi was digging it; he was analyzing the challenges scientifically. Ha! No doubt fulfilling thousands of requests sent to Jenna’s MySpace page, we next see a shirtless picture of Yau-Man, all oiled up for the slide challenge a few weeks back. So cute! Next, we see video of him finding the idol and tongue-wise, excitedly imitating Gene Simmons. Good times! Dalton notes that Yau-Man has shown how brain can overcome brawn in this game, and that no one is mocking Yau-Man now. Lisi says, “These muscle bound boys… when their mentality is letting them down, they’re screwed!” The next segment is called “Probst’s Thoughts,” where a message is played that Jeff Probst recorded for the departing contestant. Jeff says, “Lisi. You are nuts! Certifiable, put you in a rubber room, nuts! And I say that with love. Lisi, from the get go, I knew you were going to be a star on this show, and you didn’t disappoint. You have a way of saying whatever is on your mind without filtering it and then figuring out how to get out of what you just said… You never disappointed, you were always gold.” He concludes, “I hope you’re laughing right now, because I don’t mean you’re really certifiable. Well actually, I dunno, maybe a mild prescription might help. Something to think about?” Lisi is indeed laughing and says, “That is fun. You see, that is what it was all about.” Jenna agrees that Lisi was an interesting character to cast, and that we love our villains even more than our heroes. Dalton says that last season, Yul showed us the game is all about diplomacy, so when someone with “no diplomatic skills whatsoever, with Lisi, who’s just going to let it rip, you’re going to get something out of it.” Lisi says, “Dreamz has really, really bad diplomacy skills. I don’t think I’m that bad a diplomat. I got myself into this alliance because these people knew I was loyal. You have to measure what you say. You don’t have to undermine your honesty, you just have to know when to say certain things.” And, I might add, when not to. Dalton points out the irony that unlike Rocky, who dissed others, Lisi got in trouble for dissing herself. No… calling the others “losers” is pretty much exactly what Rocky was doing. Segment three begins with Dalton reporting on a confession Jenna made during the break. She recently played those same Blast questions on a recent American Airlines flight! Dalton takes back the game to give away. With Jenna still claiming victory and Dalton still claiming foul, the final decision is that it will fall to Lisi to award the game to a caller! Ha! Funny stuff! Dalton’s “minus 10” feature is next. This is where he reads ten rapid-fire categories for the guest to comment on, each in ten words or less. Here’s how it went: 10. Exile Island – Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hell. 9. Liliana – Diabolical Mexican mind 8. Hidden immunity idol – Great trinket 7. Scottish terriers – Love, love. (Accusingly) you reminded me he’s not here! 6. Quitting – The thing to do when you’ve had it! 5. Psychics – Psychics rock 4. Ravu – Sleeping on palm fronds sucks 3. Challenges – Are fun when you’re not in them! 2. Dreamz – You are a grown man. Consider a name change! 1. Underground Retro-punk – That is what I am! Despite using her fingers to count words, Lisi rambled on for questions seven and eight and got buzzed by the producers. Very young Cody in Maryland asks why Lisi called the tribe losers when she was part of it. Lisi patiently explains she felt bad these strong boys lost and she had to go to Exile Island. Samantha in Ohio has a knock-knock joke for us. It’s “Ether” at the door. When Jenna says, “Ether who?” Samantha says, “Ether Bunny!” And that, my friends, wins Samantha a Blast game! I have no words, so let’s move along, people. Nothing to see here but a whimpering man. Caller Samantha’s actual question is to ask how hard it was for Lisi to see herself on TV. Lisi says, “It has a lot to do with you being comfortable with yourself… it was all me… you have to let it go and have fun.” Well said, that one I’m buying. Dalton admits he was screaming at the TV half the time Lisi was on. He’s pleased that Lisi is not blaming the editing like so many others have. Jerri Manthey is one such name he mentions. Jenna says, “It’s not the editing, Jerri Manthey,” and poked fun at herself for having also done stupid things. At least Jenna freely owns up to those moments, so good for her on that. Jay from Jax asks Lisi how far she might have gone in the game, had she stayed. Lisi says that had she not had “a crack attack,” she assumes the original five Moto would reunite at the merge and it could have gone well from there. But it was no fun any more and she couldn’t drag up the effort to continue. Dalton has video of the immunity challenge run (it was called “Warrior’s Choice”), where Yau-Man excelled. Edgardo, not so much. Dalton mentions that when you profess expertise, you set yourself up for a fall. He recalls rafter Kelly Wiglesworth being out-rowed by water-fearing Gervais in the first season. Jenna remembers she had to throw a spear in her season, and it was hard to throw it with any accuracy. Lisi points out how calm the other tribe was during the challenge and says it’s not coincidence that Boo is always on the winning team. Noting how he stays cool, Lisi calls him the cohesive one. When he had advice during a challenge, he didn’t scream it out but kept a level tone. Lisi relates that Boo has many girl friends, but says, “You know, we slept together on the beach!” The first night, before the shelter was built, the two of them slept together on the beach on a mat, rather than be in the cave. Why, what were you thinking? This is a family website! Gigi in Oklahoma asks Lisi about her and Stacy being mean and unkind to Dreamz. I’m going to tell you up front that this response is utter gibberish, so here’s her full reply, quoted. Lisi explains, “At Tribal Council when we voted off Liliana, he started going off about, ‘There’s a Latin alliance going on.’ Meanwhile…” That thought is abruptly abandoned as Lisi shifts gears and continues in the next breath, “Dreamz is very manipulative, in that if you serve yourself something and you happen to offer (it) to the person next to you, and you don’t offer it to him, even though he’s on the other side of the island, he gets offended. Like, ‘You didn’t offer me this!’ It’s like, ‘You weren’t even around! What am I supposed to do, look for you?’ Then he holds things against you. Kind of (in) a very passive aggressive way.” “And the whole coffee situation is like, “It’s real simple, guys. You boil the water, you put the coffee in the water, you stir it up, and you press it.” I mean, you don’t need to be Yau-Man to figure that out, for God sakes.” Shifting again, she concludes, “I was never mean to Dreamz, we were just playing, this was a game for God’s sake! This is a good kid, he wouldn’t hurt a fly. We were just playing.” End of quote. Well, it’s pretty clear Dreamz and Cassandra were both wasting coffee, so it couldn’t be that obvious how the press was to be used. I am rather disgusted with Lisi at this point. Remind me never to play with her, I don’t like her games. Dalton says, “The coffee thing, it did seem a little more Stacy,” and Lisi quickly agrees. She says, “If we’re going to go down that road, it leads to Stacy.” It’s probably good that it’s time to shift gears and get to one of the regular features. But first, the hosts pretend to bicker again over the Blast results. Dalton insists Jenna is disqualified while Jenna claims a technical victory. Luckily, it’s time for “Jenna Morasca’s Fan Question Of The Week.” It’s from user “SmokeItGood,” who wants to know, “Is your song “Tighty Whities” about a specific child in particular? If so, why haven’t you been arrested yet?” Lisi says the song is addressed to inexperienced young boys who come up to her at her performances. The message is that if you haven’t all these wacky (sexual) experiences listed in the song, you’re too young for her. I think I’m blessed that I don’t know that song. Dalton is now desperate to take a call, any call, just to change the topic. Again. Susan in North Carolina likes Lisi’s spirit and asks whom she connected with the most. Lisi pauses to reflect, so Dalton offers up, “Boo?” and Lisi agrees. She likes his maturity and self-security. Lisi is amazed to discover she is in love with Boo. The network promo is run. It tells us: a mysterious tree-mail sends them to Exile Island and a shocking twist; and Michelle thinks they’ll die. The hosts are sure they won’t die but surmise it would increase ratings. Instead, they figure it’s the merge for sure. Dalton feels they will live at Exile Island, Jenna isn’t so sure, because they need it for exiled players. She’s right on this one. We’re done! Not a minute too soon, from where I sit. I’m no longer interested why she hates Mexicans or thinks five is more than half of ten. Jenna’s dance-out is very energetic this week. CBS Website: Here CBS’s promo items for this week. • A shocking surprise crushes some tribemates and energizes others. • A twist after the immunity challenge leaves tribemates with zero time to deliberate before Tribal Council. How will this affect the vote? • One survivor questions their alliance when a coveted secret is impulsively revealed to them. In Conclusion: About once every season or two I get an email from The Morasca herself. This time she told me, “…the jokes on last week’s Survivor: Live were meant to NOT be funny. Obviously, I'm not doing my stand up routine on Survivor: Live.” My response is that I regret how I’ve lost touch with a couple of factors I used to regard highly, namely nuance and subtlety, and I blame my inability to “get” her shtick on my overexposure to American Idol’s Sanjaya Malakar, who is sledge-hammering my more delicate sensibilities into submission.