Recap 2/22/06
I still haven't been able to watch all the guys' performances so I "borrowed" a recap from the FORT. Yesterday was Ladies’ Night on American Idol, and now it’s time for the fellas to strut their stuff. But first… here are the judges! I just can’t get enough of those three! Randy warns the guys that “tonight’s the night, boys,” and tells them they’ve got to be great tonight. Um, Randy, we’re still doing the whole Dawg Pound thing then? Oh, okay. Uh, oh… looks like Paula wants to get in on the action too, and she calls the women The Kitty Pound. Even Paula immediately realizes this is a really bad name choice, and hastily switches to the Paula Poodle Pound, which is also pretty stupid. Paula lets the guys know that they should be unique and different, and Simon says that there’s a lot of potential tonight, and that in order to stand out, the guys should be original. Wow, thanks for the great advice guys! Now I see why you were selected as judges! I fast-forward through a review of the ladies’ performances, some chatter from Ryan, and more audition footage, and hit the play button just in time for the performances: Patrick Hall… is not Clay Aiken Patrick Hall is tired of the being compared to Clay Aiken- so he’s grown a beard and is going to sing “Come To My Window,” and rock the judges’ worlds. Hmmm… a beard and “Come to My Window?” I think Patrick may need to go a little farther to avoid being compared to Clay Aiken… like maybe shave his head and sing a Judas Priest song or something. As Patrick sings, I feel like I’m watching my high school history teacher rock the stage. I’m really not impressed with his performance, but how will the judges feel? Randy and Paula tell him that his Hollywood audition was fantastic, and that he should stick with what he does best- sappy love songs. Simon tells him that he seemed anxious, fidgety, and that he looked like he was missing his piano. The first judges’ argument of the evening ensues, and harsh words are exchanged. Patrick assures Ryan that he will return to the role of balladeer, and America breathes a collective sigh of relief. David Radford… did Paula just say that she likes his package?? 17-year old David Radford wants America to know that he’s more than a crooner. So he’s going to sing a cover of Michael Buble’s cover of Queen’s “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.” Not a crooner… riiiight. David takes the stage, and I’m willing to chalk his average performance up to nerves, but when he throws in a creepy wink at the end of his song, I’m through cutting him slack. Randy tells David that he thought the performance was horrible, and hardly even high school musical-worthy. Paula says that she didn’t think it was horrible, (but doesn’t go so far as to say it’s good either), and that David has a huge amount of charisma. Simon thinks David is a great crooner, and that the audience loves him, but he needs to take himself a little more seriously. David looks like he wants to throw up, and Ryan mercifully cuts the senseless chatter short. Bucky Covington… is a simple man Next up: Bucky Covington, sans his cowboy hat. Bucky is singing Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Simple Man,” because it’s the first song he learned on the guitar, and he himself is a simple man, (his words, not mine). Bucky works the air guitar and sings in a raspy-rocker voice, while the camera pans over a few “I love Bucky” shirts in the audience. T-shirts already? Wow. Next are we going to see a sign that says, “Bucky is Plucky,” or something like that? Okay, that was really lame, and I truly apologize. What can I say? This show was 2 hours long and I’m tired. I promise to try harder. Anyway, Randy liked the song choice, but tells Bucky that he doesn’t always have to sing so hard, Paula tells him he’s growing as a performer, and Simon thinks that he’s truly a rocker, but that singers like Bucky are a dime a dozen in seedy bars across America. Will Makar… aka Peter Brady Will Makar is so excited to be in the semi-finals! I wonder if he’s going to be able to contain himself long enough to perform the Jackson 5’s “I Want You Back.” I have a feeling that Will knows how absolutely adorable he is, and he hams it up a little, dancing and blowing kisses to the ladies in the audience. Randy was entertained, and thought that Will did his thing vocally, Paula tells Will that every high school girl in America is hot for him, and that he reminds her of Bobby Brady. I just have to interject here and say that I think Paula meant Peter Brady. Will kind of has a Peter Brady-look, and everyone knows that Bobby Brady couldn’t sing worth a lick. But I digress, and Simon calls Will a nice looking, enthusiastic, completely average kid. You see how Simon does that? Sets the contestant up with a little compliment, and then hits him with a zinger. The other judges disagree, and I secretly make a note of Will’s number, although I will not be voting for him tonight, nosiree… okay, maybe just once. Leave me alone, okay? Jose “Sway” Penala… I think it’s time to pick a name, dude It’s time for Jose “Sway” Penala to take the stage, but before he does, we’re treated to footage of him forgetting the lyrics during the group sing in Hollywood, and I catch a glimpse of one of the icky Brittenum twins. Ugh. Jose “Sway” is singing Earth, Wind & Fire’s “Reason”, and boy does he sing it… almost totally in a falsetto voice. At the end, Jose “Sway” hits an incredibly high note, and I think it is really off-key, but the audience goes wild, so one of us is wrong, I guess. To my surprise, the judges love Jose “Sway”… well two of the judges anyway. Anyone want to guess which two?? Randy thought the performance was hot and original, Paula thought the falsetto was truly amazing and that Jose “Sway” deserves to be on this stage. Simon, however apparently saw the same performance I did, and tells Jose “Sway” that his performance was nothing but a third rate copy of the original. All I know is that if he makes it though to the finals, I really hope Jose “Sway” picks a name and sticks with it. Chris Daughtry… is livin’ on a prayer Chris Daughtry gets the vote for my favorite song choice of the evening with Bon Jovi’s “Dead or Alive.” He takes the stage, and in my humble opinion, he is incredible. I have a feeling he could totally rock some leather pants, and for this reason alone, I think he should make it through to the finals. The judges are blown away- Randy tells Chris that he was really, really good, and that the performance was hot. Paula was wowed by his spot-on artistry and thinks he going to go all the way. Simon actually has nice words for Chris as well, and tells him that for the first time tonight, he heard someone with potential, and that he has a great recording voice. I think it’s hard for Simon to give compliments though, because he has to quality his by telling Chris that he still needs to work on his charisma. Kevin Covais… awww, look at those cheeks! Kevin Covais is up next, and Ryan has to pull him away from the stage manager for a pre-performance sound bite. We learn that Kevin is the youngest competitor, but he assures us that he doesn’t feel any pressure, and that age is just a number. Kevin is singing Brian McKnight’s “One Last Cry,” and I am hoping that Kevin makes it through to the finals, so that I can see what the stylists make of him. Kevin seems pretty confident, and even makes eyes at the camera. Randy thinks that Kevin is honestly talented and that his performance was “tha’ bomb, man.” His performance makes Paula beam, and she comments that he is sure of himself without being arrogant, and is just an awesome kid. Simon tells Kevin that he only appeals to the deaf elderly. Well, hopefully all of those 90 year olds who are hard of hearing find it in their hearts to dial their rotary phones and vote for Kevin tonight. Gedeon McKinney… a little bit softer now I’m going to be honest here- I don’t remember seeing Gedeon at all until his pretentious “You have to have it! It!” speech last week. So, his singing will be a complete surprise for me. I hope he’s good. Gedeon sings The Isley Brothers’ “Shout,” and at first it seems like we’re in The Wedding Crashers, but unfortunately Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn fail to show up and the moment is ruined. Hey, you know what would make Idol even better? If it was hosted by Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. *note to self: send email to Fox with your fabulous idea* Gedeon is a showman with his dancing and huge smile, but I think his performance is borderline cabaret. Randy likes his song choice, says he had great energy and was entertaining, although the vocals weren’t amazing. Paula is thrown for a loop and says that Gedeon was marvelous, and Simon tells Gedeon that his performance was like a warm-up act for the Chippendales, and that his smile bothers him. Well! I think I’m going to leave that one alone. I wish Ryan had as well, because he begins a snarkfest with Simon that goes on for at least two hours. Elliott Yamin… was awesome in O Brother Where Art Thou Whaa?? When did Tim Blake Nelson enter the competition? Oh, wait… that’s just Elliott Yamin, “the Rebel, “ wearing the biggest belt buckle shaped like a cassette I’ve ever seen. Well, to be honest it’s the only best buckle shaped like a cassette I’ve ever seen. We’re shown a montage of Elliott’s American Idol experience so far, and I’m unhappy to see that Brittenum twins is on my TV again. *shakes fist at the sky* This had better be the last time, AI! I will not put up with this again! Elliott sings Stevie Wonder’s “If You Really Love Me,” and the judges and audience eat it up. They absolutely love him. Randy says that he’s loved Elliott since day one, and that the performance was brilliant. Paula tells him that his singing seemed effortless, and he is infectious, (in a good way), and great, but it’s Simon who makes Elliott’s life by saying that out of 5 seasons of Idol, Elliott is potentially the best male singer he’s seen. What? Better than Matt Rodgers or RJ Helton? Get outta town, Cowell! Bobby Bennett… is not for anybody Wow, Bobby Bennett. Where do I start? How did this guy get through to the semi-finals? Did someone lose a bet or something? Anyhoo, Bobby sings Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana,” and it is ultra cheestastic! I’m not sure what the second half of Bobby’s performance was like, because I got bored in the middle and left the room to clean out the cat box. I return in time to hear him plugging Barry’s new album, and repeating his “this is not for fat people” joke from last week’s show. The judges are… not thrilled with Bobby’s performance. Randy tells him that he seems like he’s from another era, (which I think is code for, “you really, really sucked, dawg), Paula tells him he is an entertaining showman, but that he made a risky song choice that could go either way… and it didn’t go well. Then she says something about “Old McDonald and his frickin’ farm,” and I’m shocked at her crass language. Simon tells Bobby that he loves him, he’s just not in love with him, his performance was a complete nightmare, and that Bobby really doesn’t belong in the semi-finals. Um, Simon? Didn’t you help put him here? Bobby leaves the stage, but not before he makes at least 12 more comments about how much he loves Barry Manilow. Ace Young… the future Mr. SueEllenMishke First off, let me just say that I had planned this snarky bit about how contestants should sing songs by quality, overlooked artists like George Michael, and here Ace goes and ruins it by actually singing a song by George Michael! Ace sings “Father Figure,” and while listening to the lyrics I find myself transported to my happy place, where Ace is waiting for me, dressed as a firefighter… Ahem. Okay, I return to reality in time to see Ace make smoldering, intense eyes at the camera- and I’m back at the happy place. The judges love Ace. They love his song choice, they love his vocals, and they all agree that, (pay attention here, Gedeon McKinney) Ace has it- that star quality. Ryan asks Ace to make eyes at the camera one more time, and I know that, somewhere, Constantine Maroulis is seething with envy. Taylor Hicks… I hope you brought your harmonica Gunmetal Gray Taylor Hicks… wait, can I use “Gunmetal Gray” to describe anyone but Anderson Cooper? Is that allowed? Will AC’s minions come after me? Well, I don’t care! Anderson Cooper be damned, I’m using the phrase as I please! Gunmetal Gray Taylor Hicks sings “Levon,” and I’m impressed that he remains upright with his eyes open for most of the performance. He actually looks straight into the camera as he’s singing, and only starts slipping into the Joe Cocker-crouch toward the end of the song. Taylor finishes his song to loud cheers and screams- it’s obvious that he is definitely a crowd favorite. The judges shower him with praise- Randy tells him he’s got it goin’ on, Paula laments that there are only 6 spots for the guys, and Simon… admits he was wrong and that Taylor does belong in the competition. Wait, did I miss something? Did hell just freeze over? No? Whew! I was scared there for a minute! And there we have it. Sadly, tomorrow night, two of these men will leave us and end their American Idol journey. Who will it be? Will America embrace Bobby Bennett and his Vegas lounge act cheesiness? Will they turn against Ace and his boy-band good looks? Who is Gedeon McKinney again? Gotta tune in tomorrow night to find out! http://www.fansofrealitytv.com/forums/showthread.php?t=52304