"My Husband the Pig" (3/4/07)
Mike confronts Orson about having planted the bloody wrench that killed Monique on him. Mike threatens to go to the police but Orson responds by threatening to reveal that Mike caused his fall, so they agree to leave each other alone. A smooth-talking mayoral candidate deliberately has his driver bump into Gabrielle's car so he can meet her. He hands her a check for $5,000 to cover the damages, but doesn't sign it so that she has to come see him. He asks her to dinner and she agrees, but she reveals she's onto his schemes and that this will be their only date. As she leaves, he tells his driver, "I'm going to marry that woman." Mike goes to reclaim his belongings from the hospital, including the engagement ring which he no longer remembers buying. But the inscription -- "Susan, be mine forever, Mike" -- is perfectly clear. Ian presents Susan with the diamond ring he didn't have when he proposed and she loves it -- but it's too big! So she goes to the jeweler to have it resized. There, she bumps into Mike, who is returning the ring he bought for her. Because the store doesn't have another ring for her to try on, the salesperson asks her to try Mike's ring. She does, and it fits perfectly. Mike hands Ian a check to repay him for the lawyer he hired for him. He tells Ian he came into a windfall since he sold back a ring he didn't even know he had. When Ian mentions the inscription, Mike realizes that Ian only proposed to Susan after seeing Mike's ring. Carlos lines up a hot Internet date so he turns down Edie's request to babysit her little boy, Travis, whom her ex unexpectedly dumped on her. Carlos's date arrives, and is even hotter than advertised, but he's distracted when he sees Travis playing outside by himself in the dark. He brings Travis in and asks his date to wait until Edie comes back, but instead she takes off. When a very drunk Edie finally shows up hours later, Carlos calls her a terrible mother and informs her that Travis is asleep and she can come back for him in the morning. When she comes to pick him up, she admits she's not a good mother and that's why she gave up custody. And then she promises to spend the entire day with Travis. Austin hops into Julie's car at the car wash so that she'll be forced to talk to him. He hands her a note, explaining everything, and begs her to read it. A tearful Danielle reveals to Andrew that she's pregnant! Danielle next tells Austin, who refuses to marry her. While Danielle is vomiting in the bathroom, Julie stops by to say she read the note and was so moved, she wants to give Austin a second chance. He tells her they'll have to talk later. Andrew enlists Orson, who's about to leave on his his long-delayed honeymoon with Bree, to deal with the problem. He says they'll take Danielle with them and tell people that she's studying abroad and that the baby will be placed with a good family. And he orders Austin to leave town immediately and not reveal the truth to anyone. When Austin protests because he doesn't want to leave Julie, Andrew tells him that Julie deserves better. Austin tells Julie he has to leave because of an unnamed family crisis but that she's the only one who was ever willing to give him a second chance. For their nine-year anniversary, Tom wants to take Lynette out, but she's so tired from working at the pizzeria that she just wants to take a hot bath and call it an early night. He decides to surprise her by planning a romantic evening involving a limo ride to a private catered dinner, but she catches wind of his plans and is furious that he didn't listen to her request. He tells her he'll cancel the whole thing and rustle up a poker game with the guys so she can spend the evening alone. Tom invites Mike, Carlos, and Orson over to the pizzeria to play poker, and Ian too, since Susan asked Tom to include him. Tom gets a call -- it's the limo driver, who has a flat and is held up. He never got the call to cancel, so Lynette's been sitting out by the side of the road for two hours! Tom rushes to pick her up, apologizing profusely for the mistake. He swears he'll never try to surprise her again. Even though she's cold and starving and furious, she admits that he was right and that they can't give up on romance. He promises to surprise her next year and they toast to a happy nine years together. Mike and Ian continue to play a tense game of poker, during which Mike quizzes Ian about exactly when and why he proposed to Susan. Ian is ahead and Mike is nearly out of money when Ian suggests new stakes: If Mike wins, he can tell Susan whatever he likes. But if Ian wins, Mike agrees to never tell her anything. When Ian arrives at Susan's, he happily announces that he won.

Here's a recap from another site, might have more information (more typos, too). **** Rex is narrating today and he is showing us Wisteria Lane, where he used to live and that nothing has changed much. Said his family always had a smile that gave away nothing. He told us about Andrew who lived in the streets for a while and Danielle seducing a middle aged history teacher and he said he is relieved to be dead. He said Orsen is the clown Bree replaced him with and he creeps him out and that all his friends were now Orsen's friends. What pleases Rex is that one guy sees through Orsen and that is Mike.... We see Mike go up to Orsen and they talk about Monique a little and argue a little. Rex says "I wouldn't pick Orsen to head my family but he's got the smile down pat" Rex tells us desperate women are all over suburbia. and that all you see is 1 unhappy housewife after another. He says Carlos used to have it all but he lost it and he won't sit around and complain. We then see Carlos on the internet and he tells Mike that Mike needs pampering and should away froa day...turns out it was because he found a woman on the net he was going meet. Mike said he'll stsy in his room that Carlos won't hear him and Carlos said "but you'll hear me" Edie showed up at Carlos' and introduced him to her son travis. She said his father dumped him off for 4 weeks. Asked Carlos if he could babysit but Carlos said he had plans. Carlos is with his date and they are kissing and he sees Edie's son playing outside alone, he is a little concerned. He goes to the bedroom with his date and theya re about to get it on but he still sees Edie son outside and is worried so he excuses himself and went to get him and brought him in his house, because the son said Edie went out with a friend. The date got upset and said she didn't over to babysit and she left. Edie came home from her date to find a note on her door from Carlos saying he had her son. She goes to Carlos' and is drunk and asks for her son. Carlos gets upset at Edie and says "Thank God he lives with his Dad, what kind of mother are you?", she asks for his son and Carlos told her he was sleeping and to return in the morning when she was sober. She goes back in the morning and admits she is a failure as a mother but tells Carlos she wasn't ready for kids when she got pregnant so she gave the Dad custody so he could have the best life possible. She said she may not be a good mother but a realistic one. Carlos tol her that if she needed a babysitter in the next 4 weeks just to tell him. Tom and Lynette Rex is telling us about Tom opening the pizzeria and said Tom thought that by being his own boss he could wake up when he wanted but reminds us that married men are never their own boss *evil grin* and we see Lynette waking him up. She told Tom the restaurant called where he made resevations for their anniversary but she cancelled them. She didn't want to do anything except take a nice bath and go to bed early. Tom asks if she'll be in by 8 how will they have sex, because they always have sex on their anniversary and she said " we could still do it, just try not to wake me" Tom went to see Carlos because Carlos' cousin was a limo driver and he wanted to surprise Lynette for their anniversary. He has invisioned the limo driver picking Lynette up, dropping her off in the country and leaving her there for Tom to show up in a horse drawn carriage and taking her to a nice restaurant and then Lynette thanking him when they got home Lynette was insistant that all she wanted was to do nothing but be in bed early when she heard Tom on the phone making plans. So he said he would cancel the surprise he planned and go play poker with th eguys so she could rest. The guys were at his restaurant playign poker when the phone rang and it was the limo driver saying he had a flat. Tom said he cancelled that and thelimo driver said he hadn't and that he had dropped Lynette off at the country place 2 hours ago. We then see Lynette waiting in the cold and stormy like weather and not happy. Tom leaves the guys ta the restaurant and meets Lynette. He keeps apologizing and she is freezing and not too happy. he tells her he won't surprise her ever again and do exactly what she says and she said no, she realized while she waited those hours that they need to keep the romance going. TRhey got coffee and toasted to 9 years together and agreed they ahve loved every minute of those 9 years. Andrew/Danielle/Julie/Austin Austin met Julie and agve her a letter. She didn't want it but took it and told him to leave. (this happened in her car as she was going through the car wash) Andrew was rushing Danielle out of the bathroom because he had to get ready for work. Danielle was telling him tog o away and crying. She opens the door and tells him she is pregnant, holding the pregnancy test in her hands. She tells Austin and he suggests she aborts, she refuses, tells him to marry her and he says he can't even stand her. She leaves to go puke Julie shows up, tells Austin she read the letter, hugs him and says they should try again. She hears someone getting sick and he says it is his aunt. She tells him they will take it slow because it will take her a while to trust him again. Later, Andrew and Danielle and Austin sitting on the couch. Orsen was getting ready to leave for his honeymoon and said if there is a problem they know ehere to reach them. So Andrew says they have a problem and Orsen asks if it could wait until they get back and Andrew said "this problem could wait 9 months" Orsen comes up with a plan that Danielle will go with Bree and him on their honeymoon and stay there a while, they will tell people she was sent abroad, she will give birth, put the baby up for adoption and Austin had to leave toen so noone ever hears of this. Austin doesn't want to leave said he has stuff here. Andrew brings Austin in the kitchen and asks why he won't go and he says because of Julie. Andrew said what if Jukie finds out and Austin is convinved she won't becasue Orsen said nobody can. Andrew tells Austin that Julie is a nice girl and he is a dog and that he will cheat on her again. He tells him to ask himself if he canbe the guy Julie needs him to be and if he can't to walk away. Austin goes to see Julie and tells her he has to leave town for a while. She wants to know why but he just says he has to go. He says goodbye and she calls him over and they kiss and then he takes off on his motorcycle. Ian/Mike/Susan Ian finally has a ring for Susan but it is too big and it falls off as she is jumping up and down. She said she will have it resized and he tells her to do it right away he wants to marry her quickly. She asks what the rush is and he said he can't wait to be married to her. Mike goes back to the hospital to get his stuff and they have an engagement ring. he said he doesn't remember it and the nurse reads him an inscription on it which reads "Susan be mine forever, Mike", the nurse asks if it rings a bell and he said "sure does". Mike goes to the jeweler to return the ring and Susan is there to have hers resized. The jeweler asks her ring size but she doesn't know so she has her try on the ring Mike was returning. She asks how that fits and Susan and Mike are staring at eachother and Susan says "it's perfect" She doesn't really seem to want to take the ring off but does... Mike went o see Ian and gave him a check for the money Ian gave to get him out of jail. Ian didn't want to takeit but Mike insisted. He tells Ian the hospital gave him back an engagement ring. Iamn told him to wait for the love of his life and give it to her but Mike said he couldn't give it to anyone and Ian said "oh right, the inscription" Mike asked how he knew about that and Ian said it was a just a common thing. Back at Tom's restaurant while guys were playing poker, Mike and Iam were competing hard with eachother. Mike asks Ian if his proposal to Susan was spomntaneous or planned and wghen Ian says planned, Mike asks why he didn't have a ring then. Ian says he wanted Susan to pick her ring ut and Mike said "why would she pick a ring that was too big for her?". Mike tells ian the hospital told him that his ring was found in Susan's stuff and told Ian he knew he proposed in a rush because of that. Ian said "do you think I'm afraid of you?" and Mike said "maybe you should be" They keep raising eachother in poker and then Ian makes an offer Mike can't match so Ian says to Mike "if you win, you keep the money and tell Susan whatever you want" if I win you keep your mouth shut and leave me and Susan alone" Mike agrees. Places his hand on th etable and it looks like a good one....... Ian get home and Susan asks how it went and Ian was happy and said "I won" Gabby Nothing big in the gabby story. she was walking to her car, 2 guys found her hot. 1 guy had his chauffeur back into gabby's car to get to talk to her. Gave her a 5000$ check to fix the damage and was trying to sweet talk her, she wasn't buying it. she left, but the guy told his chauffeur she would be back because he didn't sign the check. She shows up at his place of business (had told Gabby he was running for mayor etc..) and has him sign the check. he asks her out to dinner, she refuses, he ends up talking her into going and they gop to dinner. She isn't really into him, he tells her he always gets what he wants. She plays hard to get and he likes that. She gets up and leaves after dinner and her tells the waiter he will marry her. Rex ends with Take a drive down any street in suburbia..kow what you're going to see? a bunch of guys wearing the same expression, it's a look that says ahh crap, my dreams are never going to come true -I'll never have a life free from scandal -we see Orsen and Danielle getting in to the car -I'll never have a son of my own -we see Carlos thinking I'll never hold her in my arms again -Austin driving off I'll never get to tell her how I feel -Mike watching Susan and Ian together yeah..the suburbs are filled with alot of men who have given up hope. Of course every once in a while you do come across some lucky SOB who's dreams have all come true. You know how to spot them? They're the ones who can't stop smiling - we see Tom and Lynette hugging and Tom has a huge smile Don't you just hate those guys?