March 13: Stop! In the Name of Love
American Idol 6, March 13: Stop! In the Name of Love by Jenn Brasler -- 03/14/2007 Sanjaya needs to stop singing, Haley needs to stop being boring, and Jordin needs to stop being awesome. Okay, maybe not that last one. Now that the guys and girls are all mixed together, will the guys bring their game up? Or will it just be even more obvious that the girls are outshining them? Your regularly scheduled recapper Betsy is without the Internet for the time being (we told her to bribe the repair guys with cookies, but how were we supposed to know they were all on a diet?), so you’re stuck with me both for the performances tonight and the results tomorrow. Sorry or congratulations, whichever best suits you. We start out with a montage of past winners, hit makers, and award winners. Ryan says the show is giving the top 12 singers “the best platform in the history of television.” Way to pat yourselves on the back, Idol. Ryan, for some reason, has two lapel mics and a hand-held one. Nice sound system there. He tells us the band is bigger this year, and they get to play a little. Strings! Awesome. Ryan says the live audience is “massive,” but it’s about as big as my high school auditorium. The top 12 make their entrances, looking hot and not that nervous. Once again, I love Jordin’s dress – and she gets the anchor spot! Ryan intros the judges. I think Paula is already asleep. Ryan asks Randy how the guys will do right alongside the girls. He thinks they’ll bring their game, but they need to be in it to win it. Paula thinks there’s a lot of variety and the guys are ready to come into their own. Simon says this stage changes everyone; it will make them or break them. Tonight is Diana Ross night, and Ryan says she’s the most successful recording artist of all time. Ryan sounds like Donald Trump tonight. I tune out during Diana’s intro package. She and her wacky hair visit the top 12 singers on stage, and she interviews that she had great mentors in her career, such as her mother and Berry Gordy. She tells the singers she’s not their critic, she’s their guide. She wants them to be able to have a career as long as she’s had one. Diana says she’s really enjoyed this experience; she’s a parent, and mentoring is part of parenting. She wants the singers to leave here and have a fulfilling life. The theme tonight is how Diana Ross is awesome. Brandon starts off by heaping praise on Diana. She says she likes him a lot and said he grew up on “Can’t Hurry Love.” Diana says it’s a real Motown song. Brandon enjoys having a superstar tell him he’s good. Diana is amazed by the amount of work the singers have to put into this. She encourages Brandon to return to his center to control his nerves. Brandon sings “Can’t Hurry Love.” He starts off a little shaky, but on the chorus, it’s a little more solid. And yet, it’s boring. His voice is fine, but the performance is just… there. Even the Elvis-like hip wiggling doesn’t help. Of course, it also doesn’t help that he forgets the words at one point. Eee, David Boreanaz is in the audience! Oh, and Emily Deschanel, too, but she wasn’t in Angel or Buffy, so I don’t care. Randy: Randy gets boos for saying exactly what I said. Brandon didn’t pull it out until the end of the song. Paula: It’s not easy to do this, and nerves play a big part in this. (Though if he’s nervous now, what will happen when he goes on tour?) Brandon doesn’t need to hear what he does wrong because he does a lot right. Simon: It was a complete letdown and was a predictable version and arrangement. Also, the dancing was terrible. Brandon seemed like a background singer for a background singer. It was unoriginal and nowhere near good enough. Ryan asks if Brandon thought it was going his way. He did, until he forgot the words. Ryan asks if he should blame the stage. Brandon says it’s just amazing to be out there with the crowd cheering. They’ve had a crowd there for weeks. Just saying. Ryan gives him another out by noting that he went first. Brandon says he’ll try to do better next time. Melinda and her cute dress sit with Ryan as he gives the sponsors some money. Someone wants to know what Melinda thinks is the hardest part of the con-*test*-('"). Melinda says it’s the high heels and dresses – she likes sweatpants and tennis shoes. Hee. Ryan asks for Simon’s advice on high heels. “You should know, Ryan,” Simon sings. “Stay out of my closet,” Ryan responds. “Come out,” Simon says. “This is about the top 12, not your wishes,” Ryan replies. Round one to Ryan, who renders Simon speechless for once. Melinda is “an old-school Motown girl at heart,” so it’s great for her to meet Diana. Diana seems just as happy to meet her. Melinda thinks her song is perfect for what’s going on right now. Diana thinks the audience will believe her when she starts singing. She says she gets goosebumps when Melinda sings. Whether or not Melinda wins, she’ll persevere. Melinda’s song is “Home” from The Wiz. It really does fit her situation: “Suddenly the world has changed its face / But I still know where I’m going.” Listen, I’m just going to give Melinda the crown right now and say to heck with the rest of the season. How can she not win? She’s just excellent. Randy: Randy isn’t sure this was his favorite performance, but it was strong and he thinks the girls are already in the lead. Paula: Paula, who’s sobbing, says that she can feel what Melinda’s feeling. She’s very excited for her because this is it for her. Simon: Randy asks if Simon is at a loss for words; he says he’s sneezing. Then he asks why Melinda is crying. Um, because she’s happy? Paula makes Simon laugh, but he manages to tell Melinda that she spiced up a boring song. She reminds him of a young Gladys Knight. Ryan calls Melinda back to the side of the stage and says she seems to be in sensory overload. She can barely talk and says she doesn’t even remember her performance. Ryan asks Paula what she felt. Paula says she felt like she had an out-of-body experience. Ryan lets Melinda know that’s how she’s feeling and says it’s good, since she doesn’t like her dress. The joke about Paula and out-of-body experiences just writes itself, doesn’t it? Diana’s first impression of Chris Sligh is nervousness, though Chris claims he doesn’t have the nervous bone in his body. Instead, he bonds with Diana over their similar hair. He’s doing “Endless Love” with a different feel. Chris says the song isn’t modern, so he changed some cords around. Diana advises him to find the melody and the hook, because that will sell the song and him. I think Chris’ glasses might hold his magical powers, because without them he doesn’t sound as good. Not a good song choice for him. He needs something more upbeat. He does find the melody, at least. It gets better as he goes on, fortunately, though he has some trouble with a few high notes. Randy: It sounded like Coldplay’s “Speed of Sound” (oh, my gosh, it did!). It was a mess for Randy. Paula: The song is recognizable and a beautiful love song. Sometimes she worries he’s trying too hard to be hip and cool. Instead, he should just listen to the melody. Simon: Simon hated the arrangement; Chris turned it into a drone. “Even the boos are light,” he remarks about the audience’s response to his comments. It was unemotional and uninspiring. Chris should keep the glasses because they’re him. Ryan asks Chris if he ever thought he’d expect to sing Diana Ross on stage. Chris says he respects Diana but went with his gut. In other words, “The song sucked, so I changed it.” He notes that the singing is important, but the arrangement is part of that, so he understands the criticism. Gina is up next and starstruck upon meeting Diana. She’s singing “Love Child,” which she sang as a child without knowing what it was about. Diana says she has incredible vocal ability but needs to watch her pronunciation because there are so many words. Gina adds that the song is a story, so she can’t leave anything out. The strings and backup singers get us off to a great start, and Gina doesn’t disappoint. She shows that she can do well even outside of her rock genre. I can understand almost every word, so she definitely listened to Diana. Gina gives the song good energy and emotion, and it works well for her voice. It shows off her range a little, too; she hits some nice high notes. Overall a great performance. Randy: It wasn’t his favorite performance; it was pitchy and not that exciting. Paula: The song is exciting and makes you want to dance. Paula thinks Gina is better than how she did tonight. Her pitch and enunciation were a little off and it was a little shouty. Simon: It wasn’t fantastic or terrible, but a good choice. He’s also glad Gina is sticking with her image. However, it was forgettable and a middle-pack performance. He’s not sure what there is to say. Gina tells Ryan she felt good on stage and feels at home there. Ryan barely chats with her, even though there are an hour and 20 minutes left, so it’s not like we’re running out of time. Diana says Sanjaya “is love.” You care about him. Maybe she does. Sanjaya says having Diana mentor you is like having van Gogh teach you to paint. Sanjaya wants to start off without an intro, and Diana tells him he needs to be on the beat and on point. He boringly says she told him to feel it in his body. Diana thinks there’s something in him that has the winning ingredient, and it’s not his hair. I’d like to know what she’s thinking… or drinking. Sanjaya does David Bloomberg’s least favorite thing - telling everyone to “come on!” before he even starts singing. He gives the world’s quie-*test*-('"), least energetic, most boring performance of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” It’s so, so bad. To use an analogy Simon would enjoy, it’s like a group of third-grade girls in a talent show. Also, I think he stole his striped sweater from Jared Cotter and his hair from Jordin. Randy: Randy doesn’t even know what to say… except that it wasn’t very good. For some reason, the audience is outraged. Randy is glad the background singers were there so he could actually listen to it. However, Sanjaya would win Hair Idol. Sorry, Sligh! Paula: Sanjaya has a nice smile. She agrees with Diana that he needed to grab the audience right from the beginning. Simon: Simon tells Sanjaya that Diana is probably wailing while watching this. The only similarity is their hair. Simon tries to be positive by telling Sanjaya he’s brave… because he’s 17. Okay, then. Ryan asks what Sanjaya thinks when he hears the judges’ feedback. Sanjaya can barely get any words out. He’s also not sure what Simon meant when he started talking. Simon clarifies that he means Diana won’t be happy. Ryan asks if Sanjaya thinks he should be here next week. Sanjaya says yes, but he thought he was sunk two weeks ago, so who knows how he really feels? Haley’s transition into Katharine McPhee is almost complete. Someone wants to know the craziest place Haley ever sang. It’s here, of course! Way to be boring and predictable, Scarnato. Ryan asks if anyone is talking backstage. Haley says they are, but they’re cold and drinking water. Ryan plugs Coke. Thanks, Ryan. Even when meeting Diana, Haley is boring. Diana says she has a recording studio voice, not a projecting voice. She’s too quiet. Haley says that while singing “Missing You,” she was singing about her fiancé. Diana notes that she wrote it about Marvin Gaye after his death. Not exactly the same, huh? Haley wants to truly mean the words, as well as have fun and not stress out. I fall asleep, and when I wake up, I’m in a wonderland of sound! Every note is perfect and filled with energy and passion! Haley is going to win American Idol, people! Okay, not really. It’s boring and a waste of my time. Haley isn’t going to last past next week, if she makes it that far at all. Her voice isn’t strong, let along as strong as, say, Melinda’s and LaKisha’s. She’s in way over her head. Randy: He’s sure Haley (who’s crying already) knows what he’s going to say. She gave it a valiant effort and sounded nervous. He’s surprised. Why? Paula: Paula thinks Haley looks lovely, which she always says when she has nothing else nice to say. Like Brandon, Haley forgot the words, which is, you know, not good. Simon: It wasn’t that bad. Oh, Simon just doesn’t want people to boo him again. He thinks Haley has presence and people will remember her now. Um, maybe for sucking. Simon thinks if Haley can hold it together (as she bursts into tears again), she could do better that he expected. Don’t get too attached, Simon. Ryan asks Haley how she feels. She needs to sit. I think Haley is trying to fill the crying void Sundance and Alaina left. She feels like a schmuck for screwing up her words, but she appreciates hearing some good feedback after a bad performance. Paula says the audience doesn’t know about the screw-ups half the time. They do if they know the song! And since the judges always mention it, how could they not know? Ryan talks to some random woman in the audience (he claims she’s his grandmother, but who knows?), who says she’s gotten chills a few times. But she’s wearing a sweater! Phil says he didn’t have much of a game plan when he went to meet Diana. I’d say shake her hand and see where it goes from there. Diana is happy with his song choice, “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me,” which she did with Marvin Gaye. Phil asks for her advice in getting himself together. She tells him to look out at the audience. Phil thinks he’ll be more confident this week. Phil’s weird voice returns this week. It’s not very good, but he does look out at the audience. I guess that’s good? I don’t know, I just want it to be over. Not very energetic and not the best by far. Randy: Randy thinks the performance was boring but the vocals were good. Paula: Phil sounded good but the song wasn’t up-tempo enough. Simon: Simon thinks the tempo was fine and the performance was okay. Phil has a tendency to shout when he goes for the big notes, and he needs to control that. It was somewhere between awful and outstanding, and at least better than last week. Didn’t take much. LaKisha says it’s not every day you get to meet a superstar. She’s singing “God Bless the Child,” which she’s never sung before and didn’t even know the words to before now. Diana sang it when she played Billie Holliday in Lady Sings the Blues. Diana suggests that LaKisha wear a long dress. LaKisha debates using a mic stand, which tells Diana that she’s really thinking about her performance. The horns get to shine as LaKisha (wearing a long white dress and not using a mic stand) sings a jazzy version of “God Bless the Child.” It’s a great performance, but I can’t help but wonder about something I wondered about a few weeks ago: how will LaKisha do on other theme nights? Melinda has shown that she can branch out, but so far LaKisha has stuck with the same sort of thing. Until we get to the other theme weeks, though, I’ll enjoy her anyway. Randy: It was sensational. Paula: LaKisha is beautiful and her heart comes through when she sings. Simon: You’ve either got it or you don’t, and LaKisha’s got it. The difference between her and Melinda as compared to the others is they’re in a different league. It was a controlled performance but LaKisha didn’t seem intimidated by the stage and crowd. Ryan asks if LaKisha feels comfortable with what she has. She did feel a little nervous, but she’s getting there. She wanted to tone things down since she usually sings big. Someone wants to know what type of music Blake listens to. He likes underground hip-hop and a bunch of stuff I’ve never heard of. He likes Michael Jackson and Prince. Blake, with his hair all smoothed down, wants to beat box to “You Keep Me Hangin’ On.” Or something like that. Diana says he brought it from the ‘60s to today, which is good because he needs to make it fresh. Blake notes that the song has been covered a lot and he hopes Diana likes it. Blake dances a little before starting the song. It makes me feel like I’m in some trippy nightclub where Sydney and Vaughn are about to intercept a computer chip and then shoot some bad guys. (That’s an Alias reference, by the way.) I don’t know, I’m not as big of a Blake fan as other people are. He shouts a little, and it’s not that interesting to me. Like LaKisha, I can’t help but wonder how Blake will do on theme nights. I hope he doesn’t beat box to a country song. Randy: Randy is a huge Blake fan. There were some good things about this, but Blake doesn’t have to “Blake-ize” every song. Instead, he should just let his vocals do their thing and let the classics be the classics. Paula: She agrees to a certain extent, but this is different from what Chris did. Blake is letting the audience see how he works things out. Simon: Simon didn’t get it. He understands why Blake wanted to do his own thing with the song, but if the song were played out of context, he doesn’t think Blake would like it. It was written in a particular song and didn’t work this way. This also wasn’t his best performance. Blake says he wanted to give the song his own electronic spin. We know, Blake. Trust me, we know. Paula sits on Ryan’s lap, but it’s Simon who gets handsy with Ryan. Stephanie is up next, and she’s “in love with Diana Ross.” Diana says Stephanie needs to sing a little sexily, and Stephanie really wants to take her advice to heart. Diana thinks Stephanie reminds her of herself when she started off. She says Stephanie has star quality. Stephanie hopes to make her proud. Stephanie sings “Love Hangover” in a dress that I would have advised her against wearing. Fortunately, her voice makes up for the clothes, and the performance is a little sexy, I guess. Stephanie has a few rough spots, but for the most part it’s pretty good. I’m glad she made the top 12 because I’ve been wanting to hear more from her since the top 24. Randy: It was a good vocal, though maybe not Stephanie’s best. The song choice was good, but he was waiting for the tempo to pick up. Paula: Paula asks why Stephanie didn’t pick up the tempo. Stephanie says it was too long. Paula tells her her vocals are good but she needs to keep striving to do better. Simon: Stephanie basically sang an intro and didn’t give the audience what she was teasing them with. She was outsung by Melinda and LaKisha (but who wasn’t?) and didn’t choose the right song. She needs to be more careful at this stage of the conversation. Ryan asks how much control the singers have over the arrangement. Stephanie says they have a lot, but she wanted to keep the verses and melody in the song instead of the disco part. Chris Richardson gives Diana a hug when he meets her, then tells her he’s singing “The Boss.” He doesn’t usually get starstruck, but he does with Diana. Diana tells him not to be nervous; she’s not any different from him, other than that she’s older. Chris isn’t sure if she likes his singing or if she thinks he butchered the song. Diana tells him she liked it. She says this is a song where Chris needs to work the audience to sell them on the song. I haven’t recapped Chris yet, since I’ve only done the girls’ nights, but he’s adorable. His vocals aren’t, unfortunately. It’s a tough song to sing, so he should at least get points for taking a risk. But it’s really not the best performance, even with him connecting with the audience. Randy: Again, not his favorite performance since Chris overdid it a little. It was half good and half bad. Paula: Out of all the guys, Chris best nailed the blend between old and new. It gave her an “Instant Replay” vibe. I’ll take her word for it. Simon: Once again, this is a singing competition, and without Chris’ personality and charm, this was dreadful. Like Blake’s performance, out of context, people wouldn’t listen to this. Ryan rushes to give Chris’ numbers and doesn’t even bother to say anything nice to him. There are still 15 minutes left, Ryan. You can take some time to be nice. My new shopping buddy Jordin is our final singer of the night. Jordin asks for a hug when she meets Diana. She’s singing “If We Hold On Together” and trying to show her softer side. Diana thinks she’s gorgeous but needs to connect with the audience and sell the song. Jordin is happy for her advice and calls her “Ms. Ross,” which is nice. Diana wants her to know that projection is important. She thinks Jordin’s smile and the shine in her eyes gives her star quality. Jordin managed to pick the perfect song for her - it’s a gentle, lovely song that allows her to showcase her range. She manages to project, as Diana told her to, without being too shouty, and she still gets the quieter parts out. It’s not perfect, with some pitch problems, but still very enjoyable and sweet. Randy: Randy has been a fan since day one, and he’s very impressed with her. Those who think it’s a race between Melinda and LaKisha should realize that it’s a three-girl race. Paula: Jordin has a natural gift and is a breath of fresh air. Paula wasn’t familiar with the song, but it didn’t matter. Simon: It was a little gooey (yeah, but it’s Jordin), but he agrees with Randy and Paula. Very good vocals, and she’s now given herself a shot at being in the finals. Ryan loves watching Jordin grow on this show. She’s adorably happy and you know she’s screaming inwardly. The lines are open, so go vote or whatever, then come back tomorrow night at 9 p.m. EST for the results and a performance by Diana Ross. I’m guessing Haley will be gone, as Sanjaya just won’t go away.
American Idol 6, March 13: Stop! In the Name of Love by Jenn Brasler -- 03/14/2007 Sanjaya needs to stop singing, Haley needs to stop being boring, and Jordin needs to stop being awesome. Okay, maybe not that last one. Now that the guys and girls are all mixed together, will the guys bring their game up? Or will it just be even more obvious that the girls are outshining them? Your regularly scheduled recapper Betsy is without the Internet for the time being (we told her to bribe the repair guys with cookies, but how were we supposed to know they were all on a diet?), so you’re stuck with me both for the performances tonight and the results tomorrow. Sorry or congratulations, whichever best suits you. We start out with a montage of past winners, hit makers, and award winners. Ryan says the show is giving the top 12 singers “the best platform in the history of television.” Way to pat yourselves on the back, Idol. Ryan, for some reason, has two lapel mics and a hand-held one. Nice sound system there. He tells us the band is bigger this year, and they get to play a little. Strings! Awesome. Ryan says the live audience is “massive,” but it’s about as big as my high school auditorium. The top 12 make their entrances, looking hot and not that nervous. Once again, I love Jordin’s dress – and she gets the anchor spot! Ryan intros the judges. I think Paula is already asleep. Ryan asks Randy how the guys will do right alongside the girls. He thinks they’ll bring their game, but they need to be in it to win it. Paula thinks there’s a lot of variety and the guys are ready to come into their own. Simon says this stage changes everyone; it will make them or break them. Tonight is Diana Ross night, and Ryan says she’s the most successful recording artist of all time. Ryan sounds like Donald Trump tonight. I tune out during Diana’s intro package. She and her wacky hair visit the top 12 singers on stage, and she interviews that she had great mentors in her career, such as her mother and Berry Gordy. She tells the singers she’s not their critic, she’s their guide. She wants them to be able to have a career as long as she’s had one. Diana says she’s really enjoyed this experience; she’s a parent, and mentoring is part of parenting. She wants the singers to leave here and have a fulfilling life. The theme tonight is how Diana Ross is awesome. Brandon starts off by heaping praise on Diana. She says she likes him a lot and said he grew up on “Can’t Hurry Love.” Diana says it’s a real Motown song. Brandon enjoys having a superstar tell him he’s good. Diana is amazed by the amount of work the singers have to put into this. She encourages Brandon to return to his center to control his nerves. Brandon sings “Can’t Hurry Love.” He starts off a little shaky, but on the chorus, it’s a little more solid. And yet, it’s boring. His voice is fine, but the performance is just… there. Even the Elvis-like hip wiggling doesn’t help. Of course, it also doesn’t help that he forgets the words at one point. Eee, David Boreanaz is in the audience! Oh, and Emily Deschanel, too, but she wasn’t in Angel or Buffy, so I don’t care. Randy: Randy gets boos for saying exactly what I said. Brandon didn’t pull it out until the end of the song. Paula: It’s not easy to do this, and nerves play a big part in this. (Though if he’s nervous now, what will happen when he goes on tour?) Brandon doesn’t need to hear what he does wrong because he does a lot right. Simon: It was a complete letdown and was a predictable version and arrangement. Also, the dancing was terrible. Brandon seemed like a background singer for a background singer. It was unoriginal and nowhere near good enough. Ryan asks if Brandon thought it was going his way. He did, until he forgot the words. Ryan asks if he should blame the stage. Brandon says it’s just amazing to be out there with the crowd cheering. They’ve had a crowd there for weeks. Just saying. Ryan gives him another out by noting that he went first. Brandon says he’ll try to do better next time. Melinda and her cute dress sit with Ryan as he gives the sponsors some money. Someone wants to know what Melinda thinks is the hardest part of the con-*test*-('"). Melinda says it’s the high heels and dresses – she likes sweatpants and tennis shoes. Hee. Ryan asks for Simon’s advice on high heels. “You should know, Ryan,” Simon sings. “Stay out of my closet,” Ryan responds. “Come out,” Simon says. “This is about the top 12, not your wishes,” Ryan replies. Round one to Ryan, who renders Simon speechless for once. Melinda is “an old-school Motown girl at heart,” so it’s great for her to meet Diana. Diana seems just as happy to meet her. Melinda thinks her song is perfect for what’s going on right now. Diana thinks the audience will believe her when she starts singing. She says she gets goosebumps when Melinda sings. Whether or not Melinda wins, she’ll persevere. Melinda’s song is “Home” from The Wiz. It really does fit her situation: “Suddenly the world has changed its face / But I still know where I’m going.” Listen, I’m just going to give Melinda the crown right now and say to heck with the rest of the season. How can she not win? She’s just excellent. Randy: Randy isn’t sure this was his favorite performance, but it was strong and he thinks the girls are already in the lead. Paula: Paula, who’s sobbing, says that she can feel what Melinda’s feeling. She’s very excited for her because this is it for her. Simon: Randy asks if Simon is at a loss for words; he says he’s sneezing. Then he asks why Melinda is crying. Um, because she’s happy? Paula makes Simon laugh, but he manages to tell Melinda that she spiced up a boring song. She reminds him of a young Gladys Knight. Ryan calls Melinda back to the side of the stage and says she seems to be in sensory overload. She can barely talk and says she doesn’t even remember her performance. Ryan asks Paula what she felt. Paula says she felt like she had an out-of-body experience. Ryan lets Melinda know that’s how she’s feeling and says it’s good, since she doesn’t like her dress. The joke about Paula and out-of-body experiences just writes itself, doesn’t it? Diana’s first impression of Chris Sligh is nervousness, though Chris claims he doesn’t have the nervous bone in his body. Instead, he bonds with Diana over their similar hair. He’s doing “Endless Love” with a different feel. Chris says the song isn’t modern, so he changed some cords around. Diana advises him to find the melody and the hook, because that will sell the song and him. I think Chris’ glasses might hold his magical powers, because without them he doesn’t sound as good. Not a good song choice for him. He needs something more upbeat. He does find the melody, at least. It gets better as he goes on, fortunately, though he has some trouble with a few high notes. Randy: It sounded like Coldplay’s “Speed of Sound” (oh, my gosh, it did!). It was a mess for Randy. Paula: The song is recognizable and a beautiful love song. Sometimes she worries he’s trying too hard to be hip and cool. Instead, he should just listen to the melody. Simon: Simon hated the arrangement; Chris turned it into a drone. “Even the boos are light,” he remarks about the audience’s response to his comments. It was unemotional and uninspiring. Chris should keep the glasses because they’re him. Ryan asks Chris if he ever thought he’d expect to sing Diana Ross on stage. Chris says he respects Diana but went with his gut. In other words, “The song sucked, so I changed it.” He notes that the singing is important, but the arrangement is part of that, so he understands the criticism. Gina is up next and starstruck upon meeting Diana. She’s singing “Love Child,” which she sang as a child without knowing what it was about. Diana says she has incredible vocal ability but needs to watch her pronunciation because there are so many words. Gina adds that the song is a story, so she can’t leave anything out. The strings and backup singers get us off to a great start, and Gina doesn’t disappoint. She shows that she can do well even outside of her rock genre. I can understand almost every word, so she definitely listened to Diana. Gina gives the song good energy and emotion, and it works well for her voice. It shows off her range a little, too; she hits some nice high notes. Overall a great performance. Randy: It wasn’t his favorite performance; it was pitchy and not that exciting. Paula: The song is exciting and makes you want to dance. Paula thinks Gina is better than how she did tonight. Her pitch and enunciation were a little off and it was a little shouty. Simon: It wasn’t fantastic or terrible, but a good choice. He’s also glad Gina is sticking with her image. However, it was forgettable and a middle-pack performance. He’s not sure what there is to say. Gina tells Ryan she felt good on stage and feels at home there. Ryan barely chats with her, even though there are an hour and 20 minutes left, so it’s not like we’re running out of time. Diana says Sanjaya “is love.” You care about him. Maybe she does. Sanjaya says having Diana mentor you is like having van Gogh teach you to paint. Sanjaya wants to start off without an intro, and Diana tells him he needs to be on the beat and on point. He boringly says she told him to feel it in his body. Diana thinks there’s something in him that has the winning ingredient, and it’s not his hair. I’d like to know what she’s thinking… or drinking. Sanjaya does David Bloomberg’s least favorite thing - telling everyone to “come on!” before he even starts singing. He gives the world’s quie-*test*-('"), least energetic, most boring performance of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” It’s so, so bad. To use an analogy Simon would enjoy, it’s like a group of third-grade girls in a talent show. Also, I think he stole his striped sweater from Jared Cotter and his hair from Jordin. Randy: Randy doesn’t even know what to say… except that it wasn’t very good. For some reason, the audience is outraged. Randy is glad the background singers were there so he could actually listen to it. However, Sanjaya would win Hair Idol. Sorry, Sligh! Paula: Sanjaya has a nice smile. She agrees with Diana that he needed to grab the audience right from the beginning. Simon: Simon tells Sanjaya that Diana is probably wailing while watching this. The only similarity is their hair. Simon tries to be positive by telling Sanjaya he’s brave… because he’s 17. Okay, then. Ryan asks what Sanjaya thinks when he hears the judges’ feedback. Sanjaya can barely get any words out. He’s also not sure what Simon meant when he started talking. Simon clarifies that he means Diana won’t be happy. Ryan asks if Sanjaya thinks he should be here next week. Sanjaya says yes, but he thought he was sunk two weeks ago, so who knows how he really feels? Haley’s transition into Katharine McPhee is almost complete. Someone wants to know the craziest place Haley ever sang. It’s here, of course! Way to be boring and predictable, Scarnato. Ryan asks if anyone is talking backstage. Haley says they are, but they’re cold and drinking water. Ryan plugs Coke. Thanks, Ryan. Even when meeting Diana, Haley is boring. Diana says she has a recording studio voice, not a projecting voice. She’s too quiet. Haley says that while singing “Missing You,” she was singing about her fiancé. Diana notes that she wrote it about Marvin Gaye after his death. Not exactly the same, huh? Haley wants to truly mean the words, as well as have fun and not stress out. I fall asleep, and when I wake up, I’m in a wonderland of sound! Every note is perfect and filled with energy and passion! Haley is going to win American Idol, people! Okay, not really. It’s boring and a waste of my time. Haley isn’t going to last past next week, if she makes it that far at all. Her voice isn’t strong, let along as strong as, say, Melinda’s and LaKisha’s. She’s in way over her head. Randy: He’s sure Haley (who’s crying already) knows what he’s going to say. She gave it a valiant effort and sounded nervous. He’s surprised. Why? Paula: Paula thinks Haley looks lovely, which she always says when she has nothing else nice to say. Like Brandon, Haley forgot the words, which is, you know, not good. Simon: It wasn’t that bad. Oh, Simon just doesn’t want people to boo him again. He thinks Haley has presence and people will remember her now. Um, maybe for sucking. Simon thinks if Haley can hold it together (as she bursts into tears again), she could do better that he expected. Don’t get too attached, Simon. Ryan asks Haley how she feels. She needs to sit. I think Haley is trying to fill the crying void Sundance and Alaina left. She feels like a schmuck for screwing up her words, but she appreciates hearing some good feedback after a bad performance. Paula says the audience doesn’t know about the screw-ups half the time. They do if they know the song! And since the judges always mention it, how could they not know? Ryan talks to some random woman in the audience (he claims she’s his grandmother, but who knows?), who says she’s gotten chills a few times. But she’s wearing a sweater! Phil says he didn’t have much of a game plan when he went to meet Diana. I’d say shake her hand and see where it goes from there. Diana is happy with his song choice, “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me,” which she did with Marvin Gaye. Phil asks for her advice in getting himself together. She tells him to look out at the audience. Phil thinks he’ll be more confident this week. Phil’s weird voice returns this week. It’s not very good, but he does look out at the audience. I guess that’s good? I don’t know, I just want it to be over. Not very energetic and not the best by far. Randy: Randy thinks the performance was boring but the vocals were good. Paula: Phil sounded good but the song wasn’t up-tempo enough. Simon: Simon thinks the tempo was fine and the performance was okay. Phil has a tendency to shout when he goes for the big notes, and he needs to control that. It was somewhere between awful and outstanding, and at least better than last week. Didn’t take much. LaKisha says it’s not every day you get to meet a superstar. She’s singing “God Bless the Child,” which she’s never sung before and didn’t even know the words to before now. Diana sang it when she played Billie Holliday in Lady Sings the Blues. Diana suggests that LaKisha wear a long dress. LaKisha debates using a mic stand, which tells Diana that she’s really thinking about her performance. The horns get to shine as LaKisha (wearing a long white dress and not using a mic stand) sings a jazzy version of “God Bless the Child.” It’s a great performance, but I can’t help but wonder about something I wondered about a few weeks ago: how will LaKisha do on other theme nights? Melinda has shown that she can branch out, but so far LaKisha has stuck with the same sort of thing. Until we get to the other theme weeks, though, I’ll enjoy her anyway. Randy: It was sensational. Paula: LaKisha is beautiful and her heart comes through when she sings. Simon: You’ve either got it or you don’t, and LaKisha’s got it. The difference between her and Melinda as compared to the others is they’re in a different league. It was a controlled performance but LaKisha didn’t seem intimidated by the stage and crowd. Ryan asks if LaKisha feels comfortable with what she has. She did feel a little nervous, but she’s getting there. She wanted to tone things down since she usually sings big. Someone wants to know what type of music Blake listens to. He likes underground hip-hop and a bunch of stuff I’ve never heard of. He likes Michael Jackson and Prince. Blake, with his hair all smoothed down, wants to beat box to “You Keep Me Hangin’ On.” Or something like that. Diana says he brought it from the ‘60s to today, which is good because he needs to make it fresh. Blake notes that the song has been covered a lot and he hopes Diana likes it. Blake dances a little before starting the song. It makes me feel like I’m in some trippy nightclub where Sydney and Vaughn are about to intercept a computer chip and then shoot some bad guys. (That’s an Alias reference, by the way.) I don’t know, I’m not as big of a Blake fan as other people are. He shouts a little, and it’s not that interesting to me. Like LaKisha, I can’t help but wonder how Blake will do on theme nights. I hope he doesn’t beat box to a country song. Randy: Randy is a huge Blake fan. There were some good things about this, but Blake doesn’t have to “Blake-ize” every song. Instead, he should just let his vocals do their thing and let the classics be the classics. Paula: She agrees to a certain extent, but this is different from what Chris did. Blake is letting the audience see how he works things out. Simon: Simon didn’t get it. He understands why Blake wanted to do his own thing with the song, but if the song were played out of context, he doesn’t think Blake would like it. It was written in a particular song and didn’t work this way. This also wasn’t his best performance. Blake says he wanted to give the song his own electronic spin. We know, Blake. Trust me, we know. Paula sits on Ryan’s lap, but it’s Simon who gets handsy with Ryan. Stephanie is up next, and she’s “in love with Diana Ross.” Diana says Stephanie needs to sing a little sexily, and Stephanie really wants to take her advice to heart. Diana thinks Stephanie reminds her of herself when she started off. She says Stephanie has star quality. Stephanie hopes to make her proud. Stephanie sings “Love Hangover” in a dress that I would have advised her against wearing. Fortunately, her voice makes up for the clothes, and the performance is a little sexy, I guess. Stephanie has a few rough spots, but for the most part it’s pretty good. I’m glad she made the top 12 because I’ve been wanting to hear more from her since the top 24. Randy: It was a good vocal, though maybe not Stephanie’s best. The song choice was good, but he was waiting for the tempo to pick up. Paula: Paula asks why Stephanie didn’t pick up the tempo. Stephanie says it was too long. Paula tells her her vocals are good but she needs to keep striving to do better. Simon: Stephanie basically sang an intro and didn’t give the audience what she was teasing them with. She was outsung by Melinda and LaKisha (but who wasn’t?) and didn’t choose the right song. She needs to be more careful at this stage of the conversation. Ryan asks how much control the singers have over the arrangement. Stephanie says they have a lot, but she wanted to keep the verses and melody in the song instead of the disco part. Chris Richardson gives Diana a hug when he meets her, then tells her he’s singing “The Boss.” He doesn’t usually get starstruck, but he does with Diana. Diana tells him not to be nervous; she’s not any different from him, other than that she’s older. Chris isn’t sure if she likes his singing or if she thinks he butchered the song. Diana tells him she liked it. She says this is a song where Chris needs to work the audience to sell them on the song. I haven’t recapped Chris yet, since I’ve only done the girls’ nights, but he’s adorable. His vocals aren’t, unfortunately. It’s a tough song to sing, so he should at least get points for taking a risk. But it’s really not the best performance, even with him connecting with the audience. Randy: Again, not his favorite performance since Chris overdid it a little. It was half good and half bad. Paula: Out of all the guys, Chris best nailed the blend between old and new. It gave her an “Instant Replay” vibe. I’ll take her word for it. Simon: Once again, this is a singing competition, and without Chris’ personality and charm, this was dreadful. Like Blake’s performance, out of context, people wouldn’t listen to this. Ryan rushes to give Chris’ numbers and doesn’t even bother to say anything nice to him. There are still 15 minutes left, Ryan. You can take some time to be nice. My new shopping buddy Jordin is our final singer of the night. Jordin asks for a hug when she meets Diana. She’s singing “If We Hold On Together” and trying to show her softer side. Diana thinks she’s gorgeous but needs to connect with the audience and sell the song. Jordin is happy for her advice and calls her “Ms. Ross,” which is nice. Diana wants her to know that projection is important. She thinks Jordin’s smile and the shine in her eyes gives her star quality. Jordin managed to pick the perfect song for her - it’s a gentle, lovely song that allows her to showcase her range. She manages to project, as Diana told her to, without being too shouty, and she still gets the quieter parts out. It’s not perfect, with some pitch problems, but still very enjoyable and sweet. Randy: Randy has been a fan since day one, and he’s very impressed with her. Those who think it’s a race between Melinda and LaKisha should realize that it’s a three-girl race. Paula: Jordin has a natural gift and is a breath of fresh air. Paula wasn’t familiar with the song, but it didn’t matter. Simon: It was a little gooey (yeah, but it’s Jordin), but he agrees with Randy and Paula. Very good vocals, and she’s now given herself a shot at being in the finals. Ryan loves watching Jordin grow on this show. She’s adorably happy and you know she’s screaming inwardly. The lines are open, so go vote or whatever, then come back tomorrow night at 9 p.m. EST for the results and a performance by Diana Ross. I’m guessing Haley will be gone, as Sanjaya just won’t go away.