Episode Recap: Week One (September 15)
WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE - Episode 1, part 1 -Recap Yes...."Survivor: Guatemala, The Maya Empire" has kicked off with a vengence! And with vomit...yea for watching multiple upchuckings. Perhaps they should have called this, "Survivor: Barf-mala." Good times. :razz: The Survivor crew, as always, gives us stunning views of the landscape, wildlife, and our new cast! Yea for quality cinematography! :cool: Jeff, back for his 11th Survivor, looks a little shaggier on top. I wonder if he's trying a new hairstyle, or just to busy to visit the barber. Anyway, Jeff introduces us the the Ancient Mayan ruins and tells us how wonderfully cultural and impressive this all is. "Oooooo" and "Ahhhhhhh," says I...not. Jeff always tells us how much more interesting the latest location is...it's lost its power. Move along, Jeffy, move along. :roll: The first surpise of the episode is the introduction of the tribes...which have hiked an obviously short distance to the intro-spot. Why a short distance? Well, no one is dripping with sweat yet and the women's makeup is all perfect. The guerrilla make-up artists hiding the jungles of Guatemala have done a fantastic job. The surprise, though, is that they have ALREADY been divided into tribes. The two tribes are the Yaxha (meaning- "blue-green water") and the Nakum (meaning - "House of the Pot") tribes. Okay...maybe it shouldn't be that much of a surprise after the HUMILIATING decimation of the Ulong tribe in Survivor: Palau. Burnett and Company probably decided to balance these tribes as CAREFULLY as possible. So...Yaxha in blue buffs and Nakum in yellow buffs assemble to listen to Jeff select the first virgin sacrifice...well, it would've been cool:evil: ...all they really do is listen to Jeff tell them how cool this all is and how hard its gonna be. (They all nod...fools! They have NO clue! Bwahahahahah!) :twisted: He tells them what tools they get and says they get a pair of extra tools. And HERE COME THE TOOLS...Bobby Jon and Stephanie from Survivor: Palau. Okay...Boby Jon is kinda of a tool - buff, handsome, and hardworking, but like Winnie the Pooh, he is a "bear of very little brain." Steph is no tool...unless you mean a "Power-tool" because she exerts her power IMMEDIATELY. The girls of Yaxha FAWN ALL OVER HER. They cry. They hug. Wonder Woman will be leading them. YEA! :roll: The guys of Yaxha...are a little wary, but they can dig it. Nakum is less thrilled with Bobby Jon (ah...some of them HAVE watched Survivor before!) as the men recognize a serious threat and the women decide he will at least work and be eye-candy. And they are regular contestants...vote them off or keep them. Start singing the "Kiss him Goodbye" song now. I'm laying 10-1 odds against them making the merge. People can't STAND to see anyone get voted out once and come back. They HATE it. Wait for it. Its gonna happen. :wink: So now...Jeffy says "Game ON" by telling them to race through the jungle on an 11 mile trek with first place being the BEST campsite and flint. Okay...survivor fans know...screw the campsite, we NEED the FLINT! They pack as much food and water as they think they can carry and they're OFF! :grin: Map and compass in the jungle...can you say, "Lost?" :shock: Nakum is better at this with Jim, ex-marine and fire captain, doing the compass work. They take a lead as Gary "Don't call call me" Hogeboom and Steph mislead Yaxha a bit. Gary is feeling paternal with his Yaxha tribemates...well D'uh! He's the oldest, at 46, on a tribe who's average age, not counting him, is 27...6 of whom are young enough to be his kids. Yaxha wanders in the jungle until sundown and lays down to await light to continue the race. Steph's wheels are spinning...she would walk through the darkest depths of Hell if they would only follow! Heh. :razz: Nakum, less lost though they are, starts getting the shaft of bad luck as the Mayan gods apparently decide to mess with them. :eek: Blake feels the pain as a big, spiked, branch falls on his shoulder. Oooo, maybe the old Nicaraguan Contra rebels snuck down here and left booby-traps for unwary touristas? Whatever. Fortunately, Nakum has its own nurse, Margaret, who gives first aid and comfort. Then its, back to trekking through the jungle until they succomb to darkness and wait. At first light, after a night of howling monkeys, and annoying interviews in the dark, the race is back on. To be continued - :!:

Great recap Jay!! He tells them what tools they get and says they get a pair of extra tools. And HERE COME THE TOOLS...Bobby Jon and Stephanie from Survivor: Palau. Okay...Boby Jon is kinda of a tool - buff, handsome, and hardworking, but like Winnie the Pooh, he is a "bear of very little brain. LOL!! I have to agree that neither BJ or Steph will make it to the merge, especially Steph. She is just too damn strong, or like you pointed out, a Power Tool!! And unless Blake gets better, BJ just might be the first casualty of this Survivor "twist" next time they go to TC.... edited to quote Jay....my bad!

Yay! Thanks so much for the recap, Jay! I missed the first half of the show because of my stupid puter! (Trying to fix it) T'was a great first epi from what I saw, tho!

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE - Part 2 Morning in the Jungle. The howling of the monkeys. The humid smack of the heat. The fetid smell of rotting vegetation and unwashed Survivors with nasty morning breath. :eek: Up and at 'em! It's a race for fire and right to camp in ruins! (Hey...this sounds like New Orleans!) :oops: Steph(Super Girl) and Gary (What Football career?) drag Yaxha out of the trackless Jungle and ROAD HO! Oooo, and better they spot Nakum just ahead of them on the road! Steph fires up the troops and tries to move them...but a couple of the ladies are not ready to jog, thank you very much. So Steph goes to the back to move them along by force of will and prods from the tribal flag. :wink: Meanwhile, Tarzan (Bobby Jon) and the rest of Nakum do the wolf trot to increase their lead. Until Tarzan turns into George of the Jungle. Cramps, the begining of deadly dehydration, cause the manly-man to become pasta by the side of the road. Nurse Margaret gives leg rubs (many female Survivor fans sigh enviously). :twisted: Nakum soliders on...slower. Finally...its a Lake! Canoes! Wow...who would have thought canoes on Survivor??? :roll: Nakum gingerly climbs into their canoes and start paddling. Bam! Steph, Warrior Princess and her minons of Yaxha hit the shore. They rejoice that Nakum is still in sight and they hit the water like a Polynesian Wedding Festival. Mad paddling ensues...with Admiral Steph calling the beat. "Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!" Yeah. I gonna dream about that. :razz: But despite all the grit and power of youth that Yaxha has...Nakum reaches shore first and makes the climb to the Mayan ruins (despite the Man of Steel's sudden Kryptonite sickness). :!: Jeffy is waiting and proclaims Nakum's victory for reward giving them the power campsite and flint! Now if they only had strength left to make fire. :wink: Yaxha arrives, looks at the hammered Nakum, and is dimissed by Jeff to the far side of the Lake to camp in some trees...without fire. Steph is ticked. Visions of Ulong dance in her head. She plots somebody's death. Mark Burnett probably hires another bodyguard. :twisted: Camping out in Guatemala. It's not all beer and skittles. In fact, No beer. No skittles. But in Nakum...there is no shortage of barf. :lol: Yes, the MEN of Nakum are heaving their guts in various places. Hefty Judd blows chunks in one corner of camp, while Aged Jim pukes daintly in another. Blake spews and holds his injured shoulder and Bobby Jon switches back and forth from vomiting to eye-rolling convulsions. Nurse Margaret probably wishes she hadn't left the States as she is on vacation but STILL WORKING, DARN IT! :evil: (Okay...seriously. Bobby Jon lack of ANY body fat nearly killed him with dehydration. Same for Jim. Judd is just out of shape and recovers after a while. Blake is injured and from previews from next time....it looks worse than Jim's injury to come.) The women of Nakum are ready to rock and a bit peeved that all that testosterone is USELESS (yeah, well my wife would say "What else is new?"). :wink: The only man left standing in Nakum is Brandon, the 22 year-old farmer from Kansas, and he's carping about everybody else. Shut up, Brandon. You're 22 and uninjured. Nimrod. :mad: At Yaxha, the "poorer" campsite is really quite nice compared to lots of previous Survivors. :shock: And they get POTS! :wink: Ooooooooo! Camp Counselor Steph organizes a sing-along and lean-to building...without the singing. They lost the reward and yet they are pumped to be here and want chew bubble-gum and kick ass...and are fresh out of bubble gum. :grin: Rafe interviews that leaders lose in Survivor and he sees Gary going down in leadership flames. Gary? And not Steph? I guess Steph could deflect votes with her cloak of invincablity. :cool: And Rafe is stealthy...he's "under the radar." Anyone who says they are going to fly "under the radar" is so "NOT" under the radar it's laughable. And Rafe was too busy getting ready for Guatemala to see Leader Tom pound the hell out of the Palau crew. Bite me, Stealth-boy. :roll: Immunity challange. It's the "Paddle Battle." :roll: Here's the explaination: Using their canoes, the tribes would paddle out to buoys in the lake to retrieve a torch hung from each buoy. Racing back to shore, four members would run to the top of the hill and begin hauling up the canoe with a rope. The remaining tribe members would rotate logs underneath the canoe, allowing it to roll up the hill, much like the technique the Maya used to move large items. Once the canoe passed a finish line, each tribe's remaining member would run to the top of the hill with the torch and light the victory cauldron. First tribe to light the cauldron wins Immunity. Long story short...its close in the water. Its close as they hit shore. Each team is using the strong men to pull, the women (and Old Jim) for the logs, with the weakest carrying the torches. Its way close pulling up the hill..with several 3 stooges moments with people getting feet under logs and canoes...and Jim blowing out his bicep...but we don't realize that yet. But Yaxha pulls ahead, they cross the finish line and Lydia the fishmonger (I love that job title..."Fishmonger!") lights the cauldron. "Yaxha wins Immunity!" cries Jeffy. Steph, Goddess of War, dances with her tribe. :!: Bobby Jon, shivers as the icy cold ghost of ULONG settles over his "never won immunity" shoulders. :cry: Back at Nakum...who to vote off. Injured Blake, Fat Judd, Old and now crippled Jim, or 2nd time Bobby Jon and his dehydration. They don't dare vote off any of the women...they're the HEALTHY ones! :wink: Brandon bitches some more. "We might send off one of these crippled, broke-down guys. I mean, I'm having doubts if half these people are going to make it." SHUT UP BRANDON! I hate you already. :evil: Tribal council. Jeffy is his usual obnoxious self in provoking the Survivors to answer honestly to questions. He's really good at this. Judd is defensive about his bout with dehydration. Bobby Jon is worried about the million already. Blake seems delerious to me. Brandon is an ass. The girls all just want to get this over with and go back to regroup. Jeffy targets Jim's arm in his shirt/sling. He hears the torn bicep story. You can hear the fat lady warming up in the background. Voting begins. Its like a Saddam Hussien election, instant landslide...only Jim can't vote himself out...but everyone else can and does. He walks out with dignity...GOODBYE Old Jim, fire captain. You couldn't help that you weren't Tom the Unstoppable. Nice try. :wink: Next time...the challanges get tougher? Blake gets worse? Dani takes off her clothes? (Okay, I'm making up the last one. But a guy can dream, can't he?) :twisted:

Re: Recap
Terrific recaps, Jay. I loved 'em! I love it when you add your own thoughts and observations (and witty comments). :grin: I'm so glad fireman Jim was given the boot. He was in bad shape. He didn't look too strong from the very beginning. Like you said, Jay, he was no Tom. Besides, I think he's like 20 years older than Tom. He looks closer to ex-Marine Rudy's age than Tom's age.

Here's the recap from the official site. I loved Jay's recap, I'm just posting this one because it may have additional information. :wink: THE GAME IS ON IN GUATEMALA Jim Lynch first voted out SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA, THE MAYA EMPIRE has begun. On night three, the ragged Nakum tribe was forced to make the dreaded trek to Tribal Council, where, in a 7-1 vote, they ousted Jim Lynch, the 63-year-old fire department retiree from Northglenn, Colorado, who injured himself during the grueling Immunity Challenge. Jim, the oldest tribe member, became the first casualty of SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA. Shortly after having his torch extinguished, Jim delivered his final words, generously adding, "I wish them good luck and I hope no one gets hurt." BOBBY JON AND STEPHENIE RETURN Already separated into two tribes--Yaxha wearing blue and Nakum wearing yellow--the new Survivors walked into the wild jungle of Guatemala for the adventure of a lifetime. Host Jeff Probst awaited them amongst the ancient ruins of the Maya civilization, where he explained that the 16 Survivors would receive an extra tool to help them through the game. Just then, Bobby Jon Drinkard and Stephenie LaGrossa appeared atop the ruins. These two favorites from SURVIVOR: PALAU would return for a second chance at the million-dollar prize. Bobby Jon would become a member of Nakum, and Stephenie would join the happily waiting Yaxha tribe. "I cried. I couldn't help but just cry. She's such an inspiration!" exclaimed Brianna Varela about seeing Stephenie. REWARD CHALLENGE: 11-MILE HIKE While the tribes were still reeling from the welcome additions, Jeff Probst informed them of another shocker: a brutal 11-mile jungle race was to start immediately. The stakes were high, as the winning tribe would get both flint to make fire and the right to live at the better of the two camps. The tribes quickly grabbed their maps and provisions and set off through the dense Guatemalan jungle. "The last time I hiked 11-miles was never" chirped an enthusiastic Brandon Bellinger. Nakum took an early lead, while Yaxha trailed due to navigational errors by both Stephenie and Gary Hogeboom. A NIGHT TO REMEMBER The thick jungle began to take its toll as a thorn-covered tree fell on Blake Towsley of Nakum. Reeling in pain as darkness fell, both tribes' worst fears were realized: they were going to spend the night in the middle of the jungle. Amy O'Hara of Yaxha was shocked, admitting she had never been camping before. "I looked up I saw a monkey going from tree to tree." Rousted before daylight by Brian Corridan, the trailing Yaxha tribe was out of the blocks first, as they surprisingly caught up with Nakum. In a chaotic scramble, Nakum managed to retake a meager lead, but Yaxha was right on their tail. NAKUM VICTORIOUS Dehydrated from the grueling hike, Bobby Jon struggled to move his legs as he tried to keep up the pace. With the Yaxha tribe closing fast, Nakum staggered across the finish line first to win the better camp, amongst the ancient ruins, and the crucial flint to make fire. The dejected and exhausted Yaxha tribe was sent paddling off, thirsty and fireless, to find their less desirable camp. NAKUM: WINNERS OR LOSERS? Instead of victorious celebrations for Nakum, four of their five men were retching from dehydration. The women and Brandon Bellinger, on the other hand, seemed to have endured the race unscathed. Margaret Bobonich, nervous about the impending Immunity Challenge, tried to nurse the men back to good health. Meanwhile, Cindy Hall observed, "It's a bittersweet victory. Because we won, we got there first, but some of us are in such bad shape. If we lose them, it's not even worth having all this stuff." IMMUNITY CHALLENGE: PADDLE BATTLE The tribes reconvened for the Immunity Challenge, and Jeff Probst explained the rules. Using their canoes, the tribes would paddle out to buoys in the lake to retrieve a torch hung from each buoy. Racing back to shore, four members would run to the top of the hill and begin hauling up the canoe with a rope. The remaining tribe members would rotate logs underneath the canoe, allowing it to roll up the hill, much like the technique the Maya used to move large items. Once the canoe passed a finish line, each tribe's remaining member would run to the top of the hill with the torch and light the victory cauldron. First tribe to light the cauldron wins Immunity. The race started out neck and neck as the tribes paddled out to the buoys. Neither tribe could outplay the other as both headed back to shore and began hauling their boats uphill. After Nakum struggled with their boat, however, Yaxha began mounting a lead. Fending off a last-gasp push from Nakum, Yaxha crossed the finish line, lit their cauldron and seized Immunity for their tribe. The loss would send Nakum to their first Tribal Council, where they must vote one of their own out of the tribe. DECIMATED NAKUM As if all the vomiting weren't enough at Nakum, Jim revealed that he snapped his bicep during the Immunity Challenge, adding injury to insult. After hearing of Jim's injury, Brandon, the lone healthy male, pondered, "We might send off one of these crippled, broke-down guys. I mean, I'm having doubts if half these people are going to make it." As Tribal Council loomed, the tribe continued to agonize over who could take the physical rigors of the game. In the end, Jim's injury proved too severe to overcome as he became the first casuality of SURVIVOR: GUATEMALA and was ousted from his tribe.