Episode 5 - Snakes and Rats
The Amazing Race: All-Stars, Episode 5 - Snakes and Rats by Jenn Brasler -- 03/19/2006 No, this episode has nothing to do with Sue Hawk, but it has plenty to do with rats, both real ones and metaphorical ones. Team Guido and Eric & Danielle aren’t too fond of each other and think their rivals are snakes and rats. Will their rivalry keep them from getting ahead in the race? Previously on This is So Not Supposed to Happen: Eight teams kept traveling in Chile. Romber was on a three-leg winning streak but had problems with a controversial Detour. Amber lied to Charm, who weren’t happy about it. They also passed Romber at the Roadblock, sending the frontrunners home. Seven teams are left: Oswald & Danny (Cha3) - Friends/Yay, they came in first! Eric & Danielle - Dating/Yes, she’s exactly who I would want to travel around the world with Teri & Ian - Married/Still not that annoying Bill & Joe (Guido) - Partners/Doing a pretty consistent job Kandice & Dustin - Friends/We seem to be out of people who hate them, fortunately Uchenna & Joyce - Married/Slipping a little Charla & Mirna (Charm) - Cousins/Have possibly made a deal with the devil We are out of Chile and in Argentina, with the possibility of leaving South America altogether firmly on the horizon. How will Romber’s elimination affect the other racers? Let’s ask them! Ian says it’s shocking that they’re gone. Mirna claims that the other teams are happy Charm beat and eliminated Romber. Yes, Mirna, you single-handedly shoved them out of the race. Cha3 are the first to leave at 12:02 a.m. Their clue tells them to take a taxi to a mountain, where they’ll need to take a ski lift to a glacier, hike, and use an avalanche beacon to find the next clue. Oswald interviews that they respect all of the other teams because the race isn’t necessarily designed for an athletic or smart person. Everyone’s a contender. Eric & Danielle leave. Eric is excited about this task. Danielle interviews that he thinks he’s the best at everything and is cocky. Eric guesses that he’ll be doing most of the digging on the glacier. Teri & Ian leave. Ian says the race has evolved; there are more head games and more strategy involved this time around. Guido leave next as Bill says they’re trying to be kinder and gentler and seen as threats. Joe says they’ll limp to the finish line. Kandice & Dustin leave. Dustin says they’ve been playing it safe, but now they can’t do that anymore. Kandice says it’s time to stop worrying about what the other racers think of them. Uchenna & Joyce are giggly as they leave. Uchenna says following their intuition is key. If they don’t, they’re not trusting God and the universe. Charm leave last. Mirna says they keep mustering the strength to get through each leg. It doesn’t matter if they’re in pain or if Charla can’t run anymore. Charla jokes that they’ll be Popsicles on the glacier and someone can suck them. Family show, Charla! They try to figure out what an avalanche is. Cha3 arrive at the ski lift, but it doesn’t open until 8 a.m. They and Eric & Danielle head back to the hotel for the night. In the morning, Guido are the first in line for the ski lift. Teri & Ian admire their hats and wonder if their underwear says “Guido,” too. Guido reply that they have thongs. I’m going to have nightmares tonight. At 8 a.m., the teams head to the ski lift. Eric & Danielle complain about Guidos as we get flashbacks to their previous run-in. Eric says Guido will probably die on the chair lift. Instead, Guido enjoy the view. Up the mountain, they get a backpack and head to the glacier with Teri & Ian and Cha3 behind them. Kandice & Dustin arrive but head off without their beacon. Sigh. Charla notes that she’s never been to a glacier before. Shocker. Ian’s having a little trouble breathing, but not Drew-like trouble. Guido get a signal from their beacon, and they dig and find their clue. It sends them to Maputo, Mozambique. They’re told that they must book tickets through a travel agency as they can’t get international tickets at the airport. Since tickets to Maputo are hard to get, the teams are also provided with tickets to a flight that lands at 3 p.m., just in case they can’t find an earlier one. Cha3 and Teri & Ian each get closer to their clues. Kandice & Dustin realize their mistake and head back to get their beacon. They pass Charm, who say they’re not that smart. Fortunately for Charm, Kandice & Dustin admit they haven’t gotten their clue, so there’s no repeat of last week. Teri & Ian lose their signal. Uchenna & Joyce and Eric & Danielle both find the same signal, but Uchenna & Joyce get the clue first. They’re happy they passed three teams. Joyce verifies that Mozambique is in Africa. Uchenna’s happy to go there because his father’s from Nigeria. On the way back down the mountain, Guido discuss checking out other flights. Kandice & Dustin get their beacon and head back to the glacier. Cha3 think they’re getting a double signal because there are two clues in one spot. They’re frustrated and start bickering. Oswald interviews that they take turns getting cranky. Danny is losing patience. Danielle manages to find a signal and tells Eric to dig. Charla wonders if the beacon works better for her because she’s lower to the ground. Teri & Ian find a clue. Cha3 lose their signal and are still getting frustrated. Charm find a clue, and to Mirna’s credit, she knows where Mozambique is. At a travel agency, Guido look for flights. Incidentally, this is where one of the first leaked photos of the all-star teams was taken. Guido are told to come back in an hour and a half to see if there are flights to Manuto. On the glacier, Cha3 are still frustrated. Kandice & Dustin find a clue and head off, leaving Cha3 behind. Uchenna & Joyce head to a travel agency and get a reservation on a flight. Cha3 find a signal and start digging, finally getting a clue. They slip and scoot down the hill, happy again. Oswald interviews that they learned from this task that if you ever get caught in an avalanche… Danny finishes that you shouldn’t look for Cha3 to get you out. Hee. Eric & Danielle go to a travel agency and are told there are no flights to Maputo. Teri & Ian are told there’s a flight that lands at 3 p.m. Of course, that’s the flight they have tickets for already. Kandice & Dustin meet up with Charm at an agency and decide to listen in to find out what flight they’re getting on. I’m shocked that Charm don’t say anything about how unfair that is, even though they’ve done that before themselves. Cha3 join Teri & Ian and the two teams decide to work together. Ian interviews that Cha3 they race similar to them, with character and honor. Teri adds that they also speak Spanish, so it’s to their advantage to work with them. In the meantime, Eric & Danielle join Kandice & Dustin and Charm. Cha3 and Teri & Ian get a flight that lands at 9:40 a.m. and cheer. The other teams get the same flight. Everyone catches up at the airport, where Guido head to a store and spray themselves with cologne samples. Joe says they’ll smell like French whores, but that’s okay. “French whore” always makes me laugh because one of my favorite Saturday Night Live sketches was the fake game show Old French Whore, which featured Garth Brooks in drag. The flight boards, and Phil tells us that when the teams land, they’ll get marked cars and drivers who will take them to a training field for their next clue. First out of the airport are Uchenna & Joyce, but when they get to the park, they learn that it’s not open yet. On the road, Eric spots Guido and decides to mess with their heads by pretending to pass them. Danielle says that it’s not that Guido does anything annoying, they’re just annoying in general. Funny, she just described herself. She and Eric are way too happy about this stupid scheme. When they get to the park, Joe tells Eric he needs to watch his speed. Eric says they weren’t going to pass. Joe tells him he needs to watch his jokes, too. Teri & Ian and Kandice & Dustin arrive at the park, where Eric and Guido are still bickering. Eric says he told the driver not to pass Guido. “Peace, peace, peace,” says Bill. “Freaks, freaks, freaks,” Eric replies. Danielle interviews that Guido are bipolar and nuts. She’s lovely, isn’t she? Bill says he doesn’t want any negativity. Eric calls them weirdos. The park opens and everyone drives in. Guido think Eric wants them to yell at him in front of the others so they’ll be seen as the bad guys. At the clue box, the teams all bunch up and get a Roadblock, which says, “Who smells a rat?” “You!” Joyce exclaims to Uchenna. Hee. Phil pets a rat and explains that in Mozambique, trained rats save lives by finding land mines. Cool! In this Roadblock, a team member must find a clue marker buried above a deactivated mine. When the rat gives a signal, the team member can call for a trained technician to uncover the clue. Danielle won’t do this task, so Eric winds up with it, along with Joe, Charla, Ian, Oswald, and Dustin. Joe’s rat is named Nelson; I wonder if that’s after Nelson Mandela. Joyce thinks the collars on the rats are cute. The rats are being guided along a wire, and the racers have to pull them along until the rats give signals that they’ve found the clues. Danny seems a little freaked, saying that huge rats aren’t normal. Oswald tells his rat he’ll put makeup on it. Ian says that when he was in the military, he developed a fear of rats, but this one changed his mind because it’s friendly. Ian learns the rat’s name is Tupac (hee) and says, “Tupac, find me a mine!” Hee hee hee. Mirna tells Charla the rat is just like a cat. Dustin’s wants to eat breakfast instead of search. Joe’s rat is the first to start digging, so he calls for a tech and gets the clue. It sends the teams to Praca dos Trabalhadores, a building where they’ll find the next clue. In the car, Joe says Nelson was a good rat. He suggests that when he and Bill retire, they should come back to Mozambique and train rats. Bill notes that Guido’s a little bigger than the rats. Oswald and Uchenna’s rats start digging. Ian goes Jack Nicholson and says to his, “You dirty rat.” All three guys’ rats have found the clues, so those teams head off. Eric’s rat’s name is Xena and Charla calls hers Twinkletoes. Eric and Dustin think they’re getting signals from their rats. Charla’s is bathing instead. Eric and Dustin get their clues, so Charla is the only racer still waiting for a rat signal. Her rat isn’t even out in the field looking. Guido head back to Maputo, noting that there are two ways to get there. They and Cha 3 go one way and Uchenna & Joyce go the other. Charm finally get their clue and leave. Mirna notes that they’ve been in worse situations but still made up the time. Eric & Danielle head in the same direction as Uchenna & Joyce, and Teri & Ian are following Eric & Danielle, so they go that way as well. Kandice & Dustin do the same. Guido arrive at the clue box, where they get a Detour. The options are Pamper and Porter. In Pamper, teams go to a market and find a stall, where they’ll get a nail polish kit and try to get people to pay to have their nails painted. In Mozambique, this is traditionally done by men, but the teams aren’t told this. They have to earn 30 meticai, about a dollar. In Porter, teams fill 45-pound bags with coal and sew them shut, then carry one bag to an address. Guido choose Porter, thinking painting nails would be weird. Cha3 arrive at the Detour and choose Porter. Uchenna & Joyce get stuck in traffic. Danielle & Eric are lost, and Teri & Ian and Kandice & Dustin stuck behind them when they stop to ask for directions. Charm find someone to follow. Kandice & Dustin decide not to wait for Danielle & Eric to get directions, so they head off on their own. Eric & Danielle and Teri & Ian go off without directions. Charm get to the clue box and choose Pamper. The person who led them there helps them get to Pamper as well. Guido find people to follow as well as Charm find their stall and get to work. Mirna promises to pick manly colors for a guy. She starts yelling and kind of freaking people out. Guido start Porter, Joe coming up with the good idea for Bill to sew when they have some bags done while Joe keeps filling them. They learn that the people there can hold the bags open for them but not help fill them. Charm keep yelling and painting nails. Cha3 drive through a World AIDS Day parade and are touched. Danny tells us that his ex Nelson died of AIDS and will always be with him. I bet he would have really been touched if he’d gotten Nelson the rat. Uchenna & Joyce get to the Detour and choose Porter. Cha3 reach Porter and get to work. Bill wishes he were painting nails. Danny says his manicurist will be mad. Charm keep painting, not sure how much money they’re getting. Kandice & Dustin reach the Detour and choose Pamper. Eric & Danielle have to turn around, and Danielle is getting frustrated. Charm are calling themselves Hollywood Nails, it appears. They paint one guy’s nails and he tries to leave without paying. Charm ask a guy to count their money, and they have enough. Their clue sends them to the next Pit Stop, Fortaleza. They run off shrieking. In the car, Charm talk about metrosexuals and how they’re everywhere in the world. Uchenna & Joyce start Porter. Guido have six bags done and Bill starts sewing. Everyone is dirty. Charm quickly reach the Pit Stop and shriek their way up to Phil in first place. Grrr. They admire the greeter’s manicure. When they learn they’re first, they fall to the ground hugging each other. They’ve also won a trip to the Caribbean. Phil notes this is their “first first.” Mirna interviews that it doesn’t matter if you’re short or skinny. If this makes people respect them more, that’s fine. Yeah, good luck. The good news is, no more Charm for the rest of the episode! Eric & Danielle and Teri & Ian pick Porter. Kandice & Dustin get to Pamper and start working. At Porter, everyone is still dirty. Joyce starts sewing while Uchenna keeps stuffing. At Pamper, Kandice paints the nails of a girl with no money. Awww, that’s sweet. It probably didn’t cost her much time; I’m sure she’s wielded many a nail wand and can paint a little girl’s fingers in no time. Cha3 wish they’d picked Pamper. Kandice & Dustin get a little salon set up and finish quickly. They’re sure Pamper was more fun than Porter. Eric & Danielle get to Porter and ask how long everyone’s been there. Teri & Ian reach the wrong market. Kandice & Dustin reach the mat second and ask the greeter if they can paint her nails. “Pretty in pink,” says Phil. Phil, you flirt. What would your wife say? Cha3 are ahead of Guido, and they say it’s because they’re younger and faster. They get their address and grab a bag to deliver. Bill sends Joe to find someone to guide them to their address. As they take off, Joe suggests that Bill carry the bag on his head, which seems to be more comfortable. Teri & Ian find Pamper and decide to try that, thought Ian is sure people won’t let him paint their nails. Cha3 are tired and don’t know where they’re going. Teri wants to try five more minutes before switching to Porter. She and Ian come across a couple of teenaged girls and ask them to pay 30 meticai to get their nails painted. They say it’s too much, but one girl says she’ll pay 20 and the other 10, so that’s all Teri & Ian need. Interesting strategy. Guido catch up to Cha3. So much for youth and speed. Teri & Ian’s painting goes quickly, so they head off. Cha3 and Guido get to their addresses and deliver their bags. Uchenna & Joyce and Eric & Danielle are still at Porter, but Uchenna & Joyce quickly finish up their bags. Danielle wonders how she and Eric got so far behind. In their cab, Oswald tells Danny that he looks like a f%$@# raccoon. (What, you thought I was going to write out that word? I’m not Isaiah Washington!) Eric & Danielle take off with their bag. They get to their address before Joyce & Uchenna and run off with some kids guiding them to the Pit Stop. Uchenna & Joyce are left behind, wondering where to go. As they finally find their address, Teri & Ian arrive at the mat in third, which thrills them. Guido find someone to follow. Danny starts to smear coal on Oswald, who tells him not to get him dirty. Eric & Danielle and Uchenna & Joyce head to the Pit Stop. Guido are led to the wrong place. Cha3 reach the Pit Stop in fourth, and as Oswald runs towards Phil, he announces that he’s going to hug him. Phil runs off and both Danny & Oswald chase him. I fall on the floor laughing. They finally stop back on the mat and Phil gives them their placement. Cha3 hug each other instead of Phil. He’s surprised they went for the coal over the nail polish. Oswald says they came to win, not sissy-foot. Guido don’t have much faith in their guide, but they’re still driving. In the end, it’s a three-way race to the mat in the cars. Once they arrive, Guido barely beat Eric & Danielle in a footrace. Irony! They’re fifth, and Danielle & Eric are sixth. Joe says running against them was like racing against Olympic athletes. Eric interviews that Guido are like old women past their prime. He teases that they got beaten by a bunch of queens. Shut up, Eric. Uchenna & Joyce arrive at the mat in last place, and Joyce is shocked. The good news is that this is a non-elimination leg. The bad news is that they’re marked for elimination and need to come in first on the next leg or they’ll get a half-hour penalty. Guess that means we’ll be seeing a Fast Forward next week! Uchenna interviews that he doesn’t like this position, and they need to rock and roll. Joyce notes that considering who they’re competing against, 30 minutes could be disastrous. However, they can make miracles happen - they did on their last race. Next week: Uchenna has trouble at a Roadblock. Eric & Danielle get kicked off a plane. Danielle pulls a Flo.
The Amazing Race: All-Stars, Episode 5 - Snakes and Rats by Jenn Brasler -- 03/19/2006 No, this episode has nothing to do with Sue Hawk, but it has plenty to do with rats, both real ones and metaphorical ones. Team Guido and Eric & Danielle aren’t too fond of each other and think their rivals are snakes and rats. Will their rivalry keep them from getting ahead in the race? Previously on This is So Not Supposed to Happen: Eight teams kept traveling in Chile. Romber was on a three-leg winning streak but had problems with a controversial Detour. Amber lied to Charm, who weren’t happy about it. They also passed Romber at the Roadblock, sending the frontrunners home. Seven teams are left: Oswald & Danny (Cha3) - Friends/Yay, they came in first! Eric & Danielle - Dating/Yes, she’s exactly who I would want to travel around the world with Teri & Ian - Married/Still not that annoying Bill & Joe (Guido) - Partners/Doing a pretty consistent job Kandice & Dustin - Friends/We seem to be out of people who hate them, fortunately Uchenna & Joyce - Married/Slipping a little Charla & Mirna (Charm) - Cousins/Have possibly made a deal with the devil We are out of Chile and in Argentina, with the possibility of leaving South America altogether firmly on the horizon. How will Romber’s elimination affect the other racers? Let’s ask them! Ian says it’s shocking that they’re gone. Mirna claims that the other teams are happy Charm beat and eliminated Romber. Yes, Mirna, you single-handedly shoved them out of the race. Cha3 are the first to leave at 12:02 a.m. Their clue tells them to take a taxi to a mountain, where they’ll need to take a ski lift to a glacier, hike, and use an avalanche beacon to find the next clue. Oswald interviews that they respect all of the other teams because the race isn’t necessarily designed for an athletic or smart person. Everyone’s a contender. Eric & Danielle leave. Eric is excited about this task. Danielle interviews that he thinks he’s the best at everything and is cocky. Eric guesses that he’ll be doing most of the digging on the glacier. Teri & Ian leave. Ian says the race has evolved; there are more head games and more strategy involved this time around. Guido leave next as Bill says they’re trying to be kinder and gentler and seen as threats. Joe says they’ll limp to the finish line. Kandice & Dustin leave. Dustin says they’ve been playing it safe, but now they can’t do that anymore. Kandice says it’s time to stop worrying about what the other racers think of them. Uchenna & Joyce are giggly as they leave. Uchenna says following their intuition is key. If they don’t, they’re not trusting God and the universe. Charm leave last. Mirna says they keep mustering the strength to get through each leg. It doesn’t matter if they’re in pain or if Charla can’t run anymore. Charla jokes that they’ll be Popsicles on the glacier and someone can suck them. Family show, Charla! They try to figure out what an avalanche is. Cha3 arrive at the ski lift, but it doesn’t open until 8 a.m. They and Eric & Danielle head back to the hotel for the night. In the morning, Guido are the first in line for the ski lift. Teri & Ian admire their hats and wonder if their underwear says “Guido,” too. Guido reply that they have thongs. I’m going to have nightmares tonight. At 8 a.m., the teams head to the ski lift. Eric & Danielle complain about Guidos as we get flashbacks to their previous run-in. Eric says Guido will probably die on the chair lift. Instead, Guido enjoy the view. Up the mountain, they get a backpack and head to the glacier with Teri & Ian and Cha3 behind them. Kandice & Dustin arrive but head off without their beacon. Sigh. Charla notes that she’s never been to a glacier before. Shocker. Ian’s having a little trouble breathing, but not Drew-like trouble. Guido get a signal from their beacon, and they dig and find their clue. It sends them to Maputo, Mozambique. They’re told that they must book tickets through a travel agency as they can’t get international tickets at the airport. Since tickets to Maputo are hard to get, the teams are also provided with tickets to a flight that lands at 3 p.m., just in case they can’t find an earlier one. Cha3 and Teri & Ian each get closer to their clues. Kandice & Dustin realize their mistake and head back to get their beacon. They pass Charm, who say they’re not that smart. Fortunately for Charm, Kandice & Dustin admit they haven’t gotten their clue, so there’s no repeat of last week. Teri & Ian lose their signal. Uchenna & Joyce and Eric & Danielle both find the same signal, but Uchenna & Joyce get the clue first. They’re happy they passed three teams. Joyce verifies that Mozambique is in Africa. Uchenna’s happy to go there because his father’s from Nigeria. On the way back down the mountain, Guido discuss checking out other flights. Kandice & Dustin get their beacon and head back to the glacier. Cha3 think they’re getting a double signal because there are two clues in one spot. They’re frustrated and start bickering. Oswald interviews that they take turns getting cranky. Danny is losing patience. Danielle manages to find a signal and tells Eric to dig. Charla wonders if the beacon works better for her because she’s lower to the ground. Teri & Ian find a clue. Cha3 lose their signal and are still getting frustrated. Charm find a clue, and to Mirna’s credit, she knows where Mozambique is. At a travel agency, Guido look for flights. Incidentally, this is where one of the first leaked photos of the all-star teams was taken. Guido are told to come back in an hour and a half to see if there are flights to Manuto. On the glacier, Cha3 are still frustrated. Kandice & Dustin find a clue and head off, leaving Cha3 behind. Uchenna & Joyce head to a travel agency and get a reservation on a flight. Cha3 find a signal and start digging, finally getting a clue. They slip and scoot down the hill, happy again. Oswald interviews that they learned from this task that if you ever get caught in an avalanche… Danny finishes that you shouldn’t look for Cha3 to get you out. Hee. Eric & Danielle go to a travel agency and are told there are no flights to Maputo. Teri & Ian are told there’s a flight that lands at 3 p.m. Of course, that’s the flight they have tickets for already. Kandice & Dustin meet up with Charm at an agency and decide to listen in to find out what flight they’re getting on. I’m shocked that Charm don’t say anything about how unfair that is, even though they’ve done that before themselves. Cha3 join Teri & Ian and the two teams decide to work together. Ian interviews that Cha3 they race similar to them, with character and honor. Teri adds that they also speak Spanish, so it’s to their advantage to work with them. In the meantime, Eric & Danielle join Kandice & Dustin and Charm. Cha3 and Teri & Ian get a flight that lands at 9:40 a.m. and cheer. The other teams get the same flight. Everyone catches up at the airport, where Guido head to a store and spray themselves with cologne samples. Joe says they’ll smell like French whores, but that’s okay. “French whore” always makes me laugh because one of my favorite Saturday Night Live sketches was the fake game show Old French Whore, which featured Garth Brooks in drag. The flight boards, and Phil tells us that when the teams land, they’ll get marked cars and drivers who will take them to a training field for their next clue. First out of the airport are Uchenna & Joyce, but when they get to the park, they learn that it’s not open yet. On the road, Eric spots Guido and decides to mess with their heads by pretending to pass them. Danielle says that it’s not that Guido does anything annoying, they’re just annoying in general. Funny, she just described herself. She and Eric are way too happy about this stupid scheme. When they get to the park, Joe tells Eric he needs to watch his speed. Eric says they weren’t going to pass. Joe tells him he needs to watch his jokes, too. Teri & Ian and Kandice & Dustin arrive at the park, where Eric and Guido are still bickering. Eric says he told the driver not to pass Guido. “Peace, peace, peace,” says Bill. “Freaks, freaks, freaks,” Eric replies. Danielle interviews that Guido are bipolar and nuts. She’s lovely, isn’t she? Bill says he doesn’t want any negativity. Eric calls them weirdos. The park opens and everyone drives in. Guido think Eric wants them to yell at him in front of the others so they’ll be seen as the bad guys. At the clue box, the teams all bunch up and get a Roadblock, which says, “Who smells a rat?” “You!” Joyce exclaims to Uchenna. Hee. Phil pets a rat and explains that in Mozambique, trained rats save lives by finding land mines. Cool! In this Roadblock, a team member must find a clue marker buried above a deactivated mine. When the rat gives a signal, the team member can call for a trained technician to uncover the clue. Danielle won’t do this task, so Eric winds up with it, along with Joe, Charla, Ian, Oswald, and Dustin. Joe’s rat is named Nelson; I wonder if that’s after Nelson Mandela. Joyce thinks the collars on the rats are cute. The rats are being guided along a wire, and the racers have to pull them along until the rats give signals that they’ve found the clues. Danny seems a little freaked, saying that huge rats aren’t normal. Oswald tells his rat he’ll put makeup on it. Ian says that when he was in the military, he developed a fear of rats, but this one changed his mind because it’s friendly. Ian learns the rat’s name is Tupac (hee) and says, “Tupac, find me a mine!” Hee hee hee. Mirna tells Charla the rat is just like a cat. Dustin’s wants to eat breakfast instead of search. Joe’s rat is the first to start digging, so he calls for a tech and gets the clue. It sends the teams to Praca dos Trabalhadores, a building where they’ll find the next clue. In the car, Joe says Nelson was a good rat. He suggests that when he and Bill retire, they should come back to Mozambique and train rats. Bill notes that Guido’s a little bigger than the rats. Oswald and Uchenna’s rats start digging. Ian goes Jack Nicholson and says to his, “You dirty rat.” All three guys’ rats have found the clues, so those teams head off. Eric’s rat’s name is Xena and Charla calls hers Twinkletoes. Eric and Dustin think they’re getting signals from their rats. Charla’s is bathing instead. Eric and Dustin get their clues, so Charla is the only racer still waiting for a rat signal. Her rat isn’t even out in the field looking. Guido head back to Maputo, noting that there are two ways to get there. They and Cha 3 go one way and Uchenna & Joyce go the other. Charm finally get their clue and leave. Mirna notes that they’ve been in worse situations but still made up the time. Eric & Danielle head in the same direction as Uchenna & Joyce, and Teri & Ian are following Eric & Danielle, so they go that way as well. Kandice & Dustin do the same. Guido arrive at the clue box, where they get a Detour. The options are Pamper and Porter. In Pamper, teams go to a market and find a stall, where they’ll get a nail polish kit and try to get people to pay to have their nails painted. In Mozambique, this is traditionally done by men, but the teams aren’t told this. They have to earn 30 meticai, about a dollar. In Porter, teams fill 45-pound bags with coal and sew them shut, then carry one bag to an address. Guido choose Porter, thinking painting nails would be weird. Cha3 arrive at the Detour and choose Porter. Uchenna & Joyce get stuck in traffic. Danielle & Eric are lost, and Teri & Ian and Kandice & Dustin stuck behind them when they stop to ask for directions. Charm find someone to follow. Kandice & Dustin decide not to wait for Danielle & Eric to get directions, so they head off on their own. Eric & Danielle and Teri & Ian go off without directions. Charm get to the clue box and choose Pamper. The person who led them there helps them get to Pamper as well. Guido find people to follow as well as Charm find their stall and get to work. Mirna promises to pick manly colors for a guy. She starts yelling and kind of freaking people out. Guido start Porter, Joe coming up with the good idea for Bill to sew when they have some bags done while Joe keeps filling them. They learn that the people there can hold the bags open for them but not help fill them. Charm keep yelling and painting nails. Cha3 drive through a World AIDS Day parade and are touched. Danny tells us that his ex Nelson died of AIDS and will always be with him. I bet he would have really been touched if he’d gotten Nelson the rat. Uchenna & Joyce get to the Detour and choose Porter. Cha3 reach Porter and get to work. Bill wishes he were painting nails. Danny says his manicurist will be mad. Charm keep painting, not sure how much money they’re getting. Kandice & Dustin reach the Detour and choose Pamper. Eric & Danielle have to turn around, and Danielle is getting frustrated. Charm are calling themselves Hollywood Nails, it appears. They paint one guy’s nails and he tries to leave without paying. Charm ask a guy to count their money, and they have enough. Their clue sends them to the next Pit Stop, Fortaleza. They run off shrieking. In the car, Charm talk about metrosexuals and how they’re everywhere in the world. Uchenna & Joyce start Porter. Guido have six bags done and Bill starts sewing. Everyone is dirty. Charm quickly reach the Pit Stop and shriek their way up to Phil in first place. Grrr. They admire the greeter’s manicure. When they learn they’re first, they fall to the ground hugging each other. They’ve also won a trip to the Caribbean. Phil notes this is their “first first.” Mirna interviews that it doesn’t matter if you’re short or skinny. If this makes people respect them more, that’s fine. Yeah, good luck. The good news is, no more Charm for the rest of the episode! Eric & Danielle and Teri & Ian pick Porter. Kandice & Dustin get to Pamper and start working. At Porter, everyone is still dirty. Joyce starts sewing while Uchenna keeps stuffing. At Pamper, Kandice paints the nails of a girl with no money. Awww, that’s sweet. It probably didn’t cost her much time; I’m sure she’s wielded many a nail wand and can paint a little girl’s fingers in no time. Cha3 wish they’d picked Pamper. Kandice & Dustin get a little salon set up and finish quickly. They’re sure Pamper was more fun than Porter. Eric & Danielle get to Porter and ask how long everyone’s been there. Teri & Ian reach the wrong market. Kandice & Dustin reach the mat second and ask the greeter if they can paint her nails. “Pretty in pink,” says Phil. Phil, you flirt. What would your wife say? Cha3 are ahead of Guido, and they say it’s because they’re younger and faster. They get their address and grab a bag to deliver. Bill sends Joe to find someone to guide them to their address. As they take off, Joe suggests that Bill carry the bag on his head, which seems to be more comfortable. Teri & Ian find Pamper and decide to try that, thought Ian is sure people won’t let him paint their nails. Cha3 are tired and don’t know where they’re going. Teri wants to try five more minutes before switching to Porter. She and Ian come across a couple of teenaged girls and ask them to pay 30 meticai to get their nails painted. They say it’s too much, but one girl says she’ll pay 20 and the other 10, so that’s all Teri & Ian need. Interesting strategy. Guido catch up to Cha3. So much for youth and speed. Teri & Ian’s painting goes quickly, so they head off. Cha3 and Guido get to their addresses and deliver their bags. Uchenna & Joyce and Eric & Danielle are still at Porter, but Uchenna & Joyce quickly finish up their bags. Danielle wonders how she and Eric got so far behind. In their cab, Oswald tells Danny that he looks like a f%$@# raccoon. (What, you thought I was going to write out that word? I’m not Isaiah Washington!) Eric & Danielle take off with their bag. They get to their address before Joyce & Uchenna and run off with some kids guiding them to the Pit Stop. Uchenna & Joyce are left behind, wondering where to go. As they finally find their address, Teri & Ian arrive at the mat in third, which thrills them. Guido find someone to follow. Danny starts to smear coal on Oswald, who tells him not to get him dirty. Eric & Danielle and Uchenna & Joyce head to the Pit Stop. Guido are led to the wrong place. Cha3 reach the Pit Stop in fourth, and as Oswald runs towards Phil, he announces that he’s going to hug him. Phil runs off and both Danny & Oswald chase him. I fall on the floor laughing. They finally stop back on the mat and Phil gives them their placement. Cha3 hug each other instead of Phil. He’s surprised they went for the coal over the nail polish. Oswald says they came to win, not sissy-foot. Guido don’t have much faith in their guide, but they’re still driving. In the end, it’s a three-way race to the mat in the cars. Once they arrive, Guido barely beat Eric & Danielle in a footrace. Irony! They’re fifth, and Danielle & Eric are sixth. Joe says running against them was like racing against Olympic athletes. Eric interviews that Guido are like old women past their prime. He teases that they got beaten by a bunch of queens. Shut up, Eric. Uchenna & Joyce arrive at the mat in last place, and Joyce is shocked. The good news is that this is a non-elimination leg. The bad news is that they’re marked for elimination and need to come in first on the next leg or they’ll get a half-hour penalty. Guess that means we’ll be seeing a Fast Forward next week! Uchenna interviews that he doesn’t like this position, and they need to rock and roll. Joyce notes that considering who they’re competing against, 30 minutes could be disastrous. However, they can make miracles happen - they did on their last race. Next week: Uchenna has trouble at a Roadblock. Eric & Danielle get kicked off a plane. Danielle pulls a Flo.