Episode 5 Insider Clips-Nothing a Good Leeching Won’t Cure
The Amazing Race: All-Stars, Episode 5 Insider Clips - Nothing a Good Leeching Won’t Cure by Heathyr Fields Ford -- 03/15/2006 Uchenna & Joyce were not Philimated despite finishing last, and Uchenna has quite a few motivational words to say about it. There's lots more of the behavior we've come to expect, like Mirna's delusions, Ian's temper, and Danny & Oswald's great attitude. Heathyr has all the details, inside! My title is a quote from Rome, which we started watching over the weekend, and I certainly hope a good leeching takes care of not only daughters that you’ve forced to divorce their true love and take on the skanky old power broker but shock caused by the annoyances of a ridiculous team like Charla & Mirna coming in first. I mean seriously! Seriously! Charla & Mirna? Gag. Elimination Station Despite no elimination, we’re treated to a clip this week. They’re all sitting around the table and finally do the math and realize that a team would have arrived already if it weren’t non-elimination, so they head out to the beach for the first time. It’s a private beach, and it’s gorgeous. Rob interviews that the more time he spends there, the more he wants to kill himself. You can tell it’s driving him nuts that he’s not in the game! Back at the house, Rob and Mary are inside, and he jokes with her about throwing her in the pool. She tries to run, but he gets her and drags her out and good to his word, he tosses her in. In a bad lapse of fashion judgment, her hair is cornrowed. In a personal interview, Mary states that Rob is loud, cunning and vicious, and she sometimes wonders why Amber is with him. David looks fairly uncomfortable at all this gossiping, so he stays silent. More cuts of Rob tossing Mary in, then jumping in after, and just being playful. But, to himself, Rob does say that despite him being so pleasant, all these people do get on his nerves sometimes. Amen, brother. Seriously, can you imagine having to live in Greek row like accommodations as an adult? Blech. Pit Stop Cam None. Sigh. Mat Chats Uchenna & Joyce: Uchenna admits that coming in last was silly because they did not follow their intuition. Perhaps Jewel wasn’t selling herself to ladies’ razors, so you didn’t know where your intuition was? Phil reminds them it is their first last, and as far as Uchenna & Joyce are concerned it can be their last last. Uchenna feels they can make up the thirty minutes. Phil asks if they’re more complacent with Rob & Amber gone. Absolutely not, they say. They call Rob & Amber old friends, and that having them gone actually means they know they have to step it up even more. You know, I read a bunch of different articles and boards and such in my spare time, and somewhere, someone likened Uchenna to a motivational speaker. It’s so apt!! Sometimes, he’s an awesome one that you really enjoy listening to, but sometimes, he’s that preachy, salesmany, pyschobabble BS sort of one that you want to run screaming from. Overall, I still like him, but now I listen to everything he says and see it in terms of “motivational speaker types.” Heh. Joe & Bill and Eric & Danielle: All right, I was absolutely disgusted by Eric’s idiocy last week. Danielle’s role as “me too” queen was also solidified. What an unintelligent, uncharming duo they’re turning out to be. Granted, CBS made much ado about nothing for their “fight” because, unless something serious was edited out, that was all about immaturity in car passing and not about lifestyle choices. Not that Eric & Danielle don’t give some definite quote fodder on lifestyle choices though. Queens indeed. I’ll take those old queens any day over their young prejudices. Joe & Bill are awesomely in love, which is WAY more than you two are! But, I digress. Phil mentions surprise that Joe & Bill and Oswald & Danny both went for coal rather than manicuring. Joe & Bill obviously didn’t get the benefit of our Phil voiceover, because they assume that no one would want men doing their nails. Phil quips about another Guido outfit being out of the bag, and the guys laugh. He turns to Eric & Danielle and asks Eric, “They’re in good shape, yes?” about the Guidos. Eric is forced to grudgingly admit they are. Phil asks how they are doing. They sum it up in few words like “yes” and “fine” and there is SO not any chemistry between these two. It’s painful. I do like Eric’s shirt which is “Colege” intentionally misspelled, obviously, which is cute. Joe & Bill tell Danielle she’s looking good, and she seems happy to be complimented. Oswald & Danny: Phil mentions it’s a special day for them. Danny talks about how it’s World AIDS Day, so it’s a great day for awareness. He pulls out a one of the (red) shirts and talks about how the cotton even comes from Africa. Oswald is happy to be in Africa on World AIDS Day and able to wear the shirts in memory of Nelson, Danny’s partner. Danny mentions how freaky it was to meet a rat named Nelson today, even. Phil lights up because he met Nelson the day before, which means Nelson must be the rat on his arm in the Roadblock infomercial, which was seriously SO cute, by the way, almost as cute as running from Oswald & Danny at the mat! Oswald puts his arm around Danny and kisses him on the forehead. Danny explains that Oswald has taken care of Danny since Nelson passed; Oswald is his best friend. Oswald tells us that Danny put his whole life on hold for Nelson, and he needed someone to come into his life and bring him back into the world. He extols Danny as a wonderful lover, caregiver and friend to Nelson right to the end. They dedicate the day to Nelson. I pause so I can wipe the tears away, because these two are seriously wonderful. Phil mentions how pleased he is to have them here, and he feels the audience likes them. Damn skippy! He expresses surprise that they chose coal over nails. The joke about not sissyfooting around comes up. Danny jokes about having Rambo eyes. Oh, that’s okay, Danny. Joe & Bill sort of had Hitler mustaches, which was amusing. They miss Rob & Amber, as they found them to be good competitors, an inspiration to watch as a couple, and they will hang out with them after. Oh, hey, did they seriously say “you look like a faggot raccoon?” in the cab during the show? Because that’s what I heard, and I about choked and died laughing. Teri & Ian: Ian explains how they wound up at the wrong task but that it worked out. They are both really excited. Phil asks whether or not they’re relieved that Rob & Amber are out of the race. Sigh. Ian likes them around because people follow them. Phil wants them to name the most threatening team left. Teri taps Ian’s arm as if holding him back from saying something. Phil notes it. She proudly owns up to it, and Ian says they have a deal that she’s to stop him if it looks like he’s going to put his foot in his mouth. Heh, cute. Ian jokes about how everyone knows what they say about opinions. Phil quips “Yep, and everyone has them!” then he gets sort of a faraway look and says that statement brought a different image to mind. Apparently, the Guidos mooned him off the hotel balcony the night before or something. Ian and Teri laugh. Finally, they bring it back around, and Ian says he’ll always speak his mind and jokes about how last race, he got accused of beating up on her, and she’s the one tapping him now! They both agree that as long as they don’t get out, they don’t care who goes. Dustin & Kandice: We start with Phil’s “pretty in pink in Mozambique” quip that goes straight into a “I just made that up” line. He’s sort of proud of himself. It’s adorable. The girls are excited that the nail task worked so well. Phil asks if they know who came in first, and they do not, but he doesn’t tell them. Mean Phil! The girls think the pressure is off some with a team of Rob & Amber’s caliber gone, but that the other teams are all good too. They want Uchenna & Joyce gone next because they are so calm. The girls hope to bring it home this time, and they say they’re trying to do things better like read clues (heh, work more on this one) and pay attention to details (ditto). Phil repeats his cutesy line and the girls shimmy in glee. Charla & Mirna: Phil asks what spirit helped them this leg of the race if the last leg was the dead grandmother. Mirno meanders as only Mirna can do, speaking some sort of craziness about not looking good, about being sick, and about lights appearing out of nowhere and heralding help. They speak of the man who helped them despite having to work. That would be the one they practically kidnapped and beat into submission to help them. Mirna talks down to Charla about how they can have fun in first now. Charla thinks they are underestimated which is good because they can surprise people. Mirna doesn’t want bad karma by antagonizing the other teams. The hell? Does this woman listen to herself ever? Sheesh. Charla finds her teammate awesome, so I gag a little in my mouth. Phil tells them he heard they had had a falling out. They both disagree. Charla explains that life just got busy for them both, between marriage, trying to have kids (she was going through invitro fertilization), etc. but that everything was always fine with them. They are happy to do this together and reconnect even more. Episode Clips Oswald & Danny in Bed: Oswald & Danny return to their hotel after the realizing the place for the first clue is closed. As they walk in, they decide to stay mostly dressed, since it’s cold. Danny tucks Oswald in, then jokingly jumps into the twin bed with him, mock snuggling. They laugh, then Oswald kicks Danny to his own bed. Beach Blanket Bimbo: We get some nice shots of the water, and slowly but surely, everyone arrives at the beach. Danielle wanders into the water with Eric following behind. He’s probably staring at her ass in an effort to look like a he-man. Back at the group, Danielle picks up her towel and whips sand over everyone. Everyone pretty much chills. Dude, Seriously?: I can’t do this one justice, but it is Uchenna obviously totally brain dead and fatigued. Joyce explains that their flight leaves in the evening of the 28th and arrives at one of the stopovers at 12:03 a.m. then departs at 10:00 a.m. Uchenna thinks that 12:03 a.m. on the 29th would be after 10:00 a.m. on the 29th, and he’s not getting it no matter how clearly and articulately and patiently Joyce tries. He finally just says he trusts her. Talk about some killer fatigue going. Yikes! Dancing In The Streets: On the street, Dustin & Kandice joke that they’ll dance for money. They joke off screen with Uchenna about it. Joyce tells them to dance, that they’ll pay! Charla & Mirna stand their looking bewildered. Uchenna claps to give them a beat while locals rush by, probably thinking “freaky Americans” and Kandice dances around with her hat in her hand. Joyce puts something in it. Uchenna & Joyce do a Rockette kick. Memories of People I’d Rather Forget: Uchenna & Joyce are talking to Joe & Bill in the Johannesburg airport and explain that in their first race, they stood pretty much in the exact same spot while Lyn & Alex made their “Amberexia and Robtarded” joke. Uchenna & Joyce laugh at that mature memory. Joyce proclaims it ironic. Great, They Both Do It: Mirna is not the only one who puts on some dumbass fake accent when talking to foreigners. Charla is doing it as well, and it infuriates me. They sound like freaking idiots. I thought, for a brief second, that maybe they knew Americans have somewhat of a negative reputation overseas, so they were masking the fact that they were American by applying bizarre accents from no particular country. However, they quickly admit to their trapped tour guide that they are American and offer to stow him aboard their luggage. I believe his people heard that a few hundred years ago and now, I’m guessing he’ll decline. He’s trying to tell them he’ll get fired if he stays with them, but they steamroller that and tell him to take a day off. I so wish they would leave. Old Men I Have Loved: Nah, Joe & Bill aren’t really old men, but Joe goes over his list of ailments, and I feel for him. He has had knee, calf and quadriceps issues for the whole race. He just takes Advil and keeps going. Joe jokes that it’s a million dollar muscle instead of bus ride this time, and Bill looks horrified at the thought. Joe takes it back, stating nothing will slow them down. The Trouble with Eric: Bill tells Joe they’ve got to get used to the mind games again, and Joe mentions how everyone wants to get rid of Eric, but then they talk nice to him. Bill finds it good advice not to engage in arguments, because it might influence others who only catch part of it, and then you miss a helpful hint when needed, etc. Very true. He also mentions how they don’t have a good reputation. Joe asks why. Bill states Tunisia, and Joe denies participation, but Bill kids him that he was there. Joe then says something about no wonder Gretchen wanted to just ride the elephant; she was probably just tired that day. A Gross Misunderstanding: Oswald talks about how they helped Teri & Ian by using their language skills to book both flights, and he says it came back to bite them later. Apparently, something on Teri & Ian’s ticket was wrong, and instead of just calmly coming up and asking about it at the airport, Ian came up accusingly. We cut between the actual clip of that and Oswald post-leg talking about it. Oswald is deeply hurt by the accusation. However, we do see Ian apologizing for thinking that of them. Ian talks about how he was heartbroken when he thought they might have screwed him. Oswald says that Danny had to snap him out of it he was so depressed. The Motivational Speaker Cometh: Despite stress of non-elimination, Uchenna finds time to pontificate about Africa and the land mines and how easy our lives are comparatively speaking. They hope some people rest on their laurels next leg so that they can pass them into first. More following intuition comments abound. It’s a lengthy clip, but it’s mostly motiv-speak. I still like Uchenna by and large though!
The Amazing Race: All-Stars, Episode 5 Insider Clips - Nothing a Good Leeching Won’t Cure by Heathyr Fields Ford -- 03/15/2006 Uchenna & Joyce were not Philimated despite finishing last, and Uchenna has quite a few motivational words to say about it. There's lots more of the behavior we've come to expect, like Mirna's delusions, Ian's temper, and Danny & Oswald's great attitude. Heathyr has all the details, inside! My title is a quote from Rome, which we started watching over the weekend, and I certainly hope a good leeching takes care of not only daughters that you’ve forced to divorce their true love and take on the skanky old power broker but shock caused by the annoyances of a ridiculous team like Charla & Mirna coming in first. I mean seriously! Seriously! Charla & Mirna? Gag. Elimination Station Despite no elimination, we’re treated to a clip this week. They’re all sitting around the table and finally do the math and realize that a team would have arrived already if it weren’t non-elimination, so they head out to the beach for the first time. It’s a private beach, and it’s gorgeous. Rob interviews that the more time he spends there, the more he wants to kill himself. You can tell it’s driving him nuts that he’s not in the game! Back at the house, Rob and Mary are inside, and he jokes with her about throwing her in the pool. She tries to run, but he gets her and drags her out and good to his word, he tosses her in. In a bad lapse of fashion judgment, her hair is cornrowed. In a personal interview, Mary states that Rob is loud, cunning and vicious, and she sometimes wonders why Amber is with him. David looks fairly uncomfortable at all this gossiping, so he stays silent. More cuts of Rob tossing Mary in, then jumping in after, and just being playful. But, to himself, Rob does say that despite him being so pleasant, all these people do get on his nerves sometimes. Amen, brother. Seriously, can you imagine having to live in Greek row like accommodations as an adult? Blech. Pit Stop Cam None. Sigh. Mat Chats Uchenna & Joyce: Uchenna admits that coming in last was silly because they did not follow their intuition. Perhaps Jewel wasn’t selling herself to ladies’ razors, so you didn’t know where your intuition was? Phil reminds them it is their first last, and as far as Uchenna & Joyce are concerned it can be their last last. Uchenna feels they can make up the thirty minutes. Phil asks if they’re more complacent with Rob & Amber gone. Absolutely not, they say. They call Rob & Amber old friends, and that having them gone actually means they know they have to step it up even more. You know, I read a bunch of different articles and boards and such in my spare time, and somewhere, someone likened Uchenna to a motivational speaker. It’s so apt!! Sometimes, he’s an awesome one that you really enjoy listening to, but sometimes, he’s that preachy, salesmany, pyschobabble BS sort of one that you want to run screaming from. Overall, I still like him, but now I listen to everything he says and see it in terms of “motivational speaker types.” Heh. Joe & Bill and Eric & Danielle: All right, I was absolutely disgusted by Eric’s idiocy last week. Danielle’s role as “me too” queen was also solidified. What an unintelligent, uncharming duo they’re turning out to be. Granted, CBS made much ado about nothing for their “fight” because, unless something serious was edited out, that was all about immaturity in car passing and not about lifestyle choices. Not that Eric & Danielle don’t give some definite quote fodder on lifestyle choices though. Queens indeed. I’ll take those old queens any day over their young prejudices. Joe & Bill are awesomely in love, which is WAY more than you two are! But, I digress. Phil mentions surprise that Joe & Bill and Oswald & Danny both went for coal rather than manicuring. Joe & Bill obviously didn’t get the benefit of our Phil voiceover, because they assume that no one would want men doing their nails. Phil quips about another Guido outfit being out of the bag, and the guys laugh. He turns to Eric & Danielle and asks Eric, “They’re in good shape, yes?” about the Guidos. Eric is forced to grudgingly admit they are. Phil asks how they are doing. They sum it up in few words like “yes” and “fine” and there is SO not any chemistry between these two. It’s painful. I do like Eric’s shirt which is “Colege” intentionally misspelled, obviously, which is cute. Joe & Bill tell Danielle she’s looking good, and she seems happy to be complimented. Oswald & Danny: Phil mentions it’s a special day for them. Danny talks about how it’s World AIDS Day, so it’s a great day for awareness. He pulls out a one of the (red) shirts and talks about how the cotton even comes from Africa. Oswald is happy to be in Africa on World AIDS Day and able to wear the shirts in memory of Nelson, Danny’s partner. Danny mentions how freaky it was to meet a rat named Nelson today, even. Phil lights up because he met Nelson the day before, which means Nelson must be the rat on his arm in the Roadblock infomercial, which was seriously SO cute, by the way, almost as cute as running from Oswald & Danny at the mat! Oswald puts his arm around Danny and kisses him on the forehead. Danny explains that Oswald has taken care of Danny since Nelson passed; Oswald is his best friend. Oswald tells us that Danny put his whole life on hold for Nelson, and he needed someone to come into his life and bring him back into the world. He extols Danny as a wonderful lover, caregiver and friend to Nelson right to the end. They dedicate the day to Nelson. I pause so I can wipe the tears away, because these two are seriously wonderful. Phil mentions how pleased he is to have them here, and he feels the audience likes them. Damn skippy! He expresses surprise that they chose coal over nails. The joke about not sissyfooting around comes up. Danny jokes about having Rambo eyes. Oh, that’s okay, Danny. Joe & Bill sort of had Hitler mustaches, which was amusing. They miss Rob & Amber, as they found them to be good competitors, an inspiration to watch as a couple, and they will hang out with them after. Oh, hey, did they seriously say “you look like a faggot raccoon?” in the cab during the show? Because that’s what I heard, and I about choked and died laughing. Teri & Ian: Ian explains how they wound up at the wrong task but that it worked out. They are both really excited. Phil asks whether or not they’re relieved that Rob & Amber are out of the race. Sigh. Ian likes them around because people follow them. Phil wants them to name the most threatening team left. Teri taps Ian’s arm as if holding him back from saying something. Phil notes it. She proudly owns up to it, and Ian says they have a deal that she’s to stop him if it looks like he’s going to put his foot in his mouth. Heh, cute. Ian jokes about how everyone knows what they say about opinions. Phil quips “Yep, and everyone has them!” then he gets sort of a faraway look and says that statement brought a different image to mind. Apparently, the Guidos mooned him off the hotel balcony the night before or something. Ian and Teri laugh. Finally, they bring it back around, and Ian says he’ll always speak his mind and jokes about how last race, he got accused of beating up on her, and she’s the one tapping him now! They both agree that as long as they don’t get out, they don’t care who goes. Dustin & Kandice: We start with Phil’s “pretty in pink in Mozambique” quip that goes straight into a “I just made that up” line. He’s sort of proud of himself. It’s adorable. The girls are excited that the nail task worked so well. Phil asks if they know who came in first, and they do not, but he doesn’t tell them. Mean Phil! The girls think the pressure is off some with a team of Rob & Amber’s caliber gone, but that the other teams are all good too. They want Uchenna & Joyce gone next because they are so calm. The girls hope to bring it home this time, and they say they’re trying to do things better like read clues (heh, work more on this one) and pay attention to details (ditto). Phil repeats his cutesy line and the girls shimmy in glee. Charla & Mirna: Phil asks what spirit helped them this leg of the race if the last leg was the dead grandmother. Mirno meanders as only Mirna can do, speaking some sort of craziness about not looking good, about being sick, and about lights appearing out of nowhere and heralding help. They speak of the man who helped them despite having to work. That would be the one they practically kidnapped and beat into submission to help them. Mirna talks down to Charla about how they can have fun in first now. Charla thinks they are underestimated which is good because they can surprise people. Mirna doesn’t want bad karma by antagonizing the other teams. The hell? Does this woman listen to herself ever? Sheesh. Charla finds her teammate awesome, so I gag a little in my mouth. Phil tells them he heard they had had a falling out. They both disagree. Charla explains that life just got busy for them both, between marriage, trying to have kids (she was going through invitro fertilization), etc. but that everything was always fine with them. They are happy to do this together and reconnect even more. Episode Clips Oswald & Danny in Bed: Oswald & Danny return to their hotel after the realizing the place for the first clue is closed. As they walk in, they decide to stay mostly dressed, since it’s cold. Danny tucks Oswald in, then jokingly jumps into the twin bed with him, mock snuggling. They laugh, then Oswald kicks Danny to his own bed. Beach Blanket Bimbo: We get some nice shots of the water, and slowly but surely, everyone arrives at the beach. Danielle wanders into the water with Eric following behind. He’s probably staring at her ass in an effort to look like a he-man. Back at the group, Danielle picks up her towel and whips sand over everyone. Everyone pretty much chills. Dude, Seriously?: I can’t do this one justice, but it is Uchenna obviously totally brain dead and fatigued. Joyce explains that their flight leaves in the evening of the 28th and arrives at one of the stopovers at 12:03 a.m. then departs at 10:00 a.m. Uchenna thinks that 12:03 a.m. on the 29th would be after 10:00 a.m. on the 29th, and he’s not getting it no matter how clearly and articulately and patiently Joyce tries. He finally just says he trusts her. Talk about some killer fatigue going. Yikes! Dancing In The Streets: On the street, Dustin & Kandice joke that they’ll dance for money. They joke off screen with Uchenna about it. Joyce tells them to dance, that they’ll pay! Charla & Mirna stand their looking bewildered. Uchenna claps to give them a beat while locals rush by, probably thinking “freaky Americans” and Kandice dances around with her hat in her hand. Joyce puts something in it. Uchenna & Joyce do a Rockette kick. Memories of People I’d Rather Forget: Uchenna & Joyce are talking to Joe & Bill in the Johannesburg airport and explain that in their first race, they stood pretty much in the exact same spot while Lyn & Alex made their “Amberexia and Robtarded” joke. Uchenna & Joyce laugh at that mature memory. Joyce proclaims it ironic. Great, They Both Do It: Mirna is not the only one who puts on some dumbass fake accent when talking to foreigners. Charla is doing it as well, and it infuriates me. They sound like freaking idiots. I thought, for a brief second, that maybe they knew Americans have somewhat of a negative reputation overseas, so they were masking the fact that they were American by applying bizarre accents from no particular country. However, they quickly admit to their trapped tour guide that they are American and offer to stow him aboard their luggage. I believe his people heard that a few hundred years ago and now, I’m guessing he’ll decline. He’s trying to tell them he’ll get fired if he stays with them, but they steamroller that and tell him to take a day off. I so wish they would leave. Old Men I Have Loved: Nah, Joe & Bill aren’t really old men, but Joe goes over his list of ailments, and I feel for him. He has had knee, calf and quadriceps issues for the whole race. He just takes Advil and keeps going. Joe jokes that it’s a million dollar muscle instead of bus ride this time, and Bill looks horrified at the thought. Joe takes it back, stating nothing will slow them down. The Trouble with Eric: Bill tells Joe they’ve got to get used to the mind games again, and Joe mentions how everyone wants to get rid of Eric, but then they talk nice to him. Bill finds it good advice not to engage in arguments, because it might influence others who only catch part of it, and then you miss a helpful hint when needed, etc. Very true. He also mentions how they don’t have a good reputation. Joe asks why. Bill states Tunisia, and Joe denies participation, but Bill kids him that he was there. Joe then says something about no wonder Gretchen wanted to just ride the elephant; she was probably just tired that day. A Gross Misunderstanding: Oswald talks about how they helped Teri & Ian by using their language skills to book both flights, and he says it came back to bite them later. Apparently, something on Teri & Ian’s ticket was wrong, and instead of just calmly coming up and asking about it at the airport, Ian came up accusingly. We cut between the actual clip of that and Oswald post-leg talking about it. Oswald is deeply hurt by the accusation. However, we do see Ian apologizing for thinking that of them. Ian talks about how he was heartbroken when he thought they might have screwed him. Oswald says that Danny had to snap him out of it he was so depressed. The Motivational Speaker Cometh: Despite stress of non-elimination, Uchenna finds time to pontificate about Africa and the land mines and how easy our lives are comparatively speaking. They hope some people rest on their laurels next leg so that they can pass them into first. More following intuition comments abound. It’s a lengthy clip, but it’s mostly motiv-speak. I still like Uchenna by and large though!