Episode 3, Insider Clips Extravaganza
The Amazing Race: All-Stars, Episode 3, Insider Clips Extravaganza: Things That Make You Go YAY! by Heathyr Ford -- 03/08/2007 This week’s Insider Clips extravaganza is chock full of crazy. Who are the crazy people in question? Do you even have to wonder? Read on to see who’s bat guano nuts. YAY! This week’s elimination made me very happy. If only it were a double-elimination leg, so the last two teams were gone, and I’d’ve been dancing circles in my living room! We’re going to dive right into the clips, because I’m just that kind of girl. Elimination Station Yes, this segment gets “Conjunction Junction” stuck in my head EVERY time I type it. Then, I get hit with the funky music of the intro, and I want to be somewhere warm and tropical with something cold and alcoholic, watching someone hot and mostly naked. We get a quick glimpse of Drew enjoying a massage, then we focus in on the table where the foursome notice two extra places set. They start to hypothesize who it will be, and all four wish, selfishly, for it to be Oswald & Danny for the fun factor. In walk David & Mary, practically on cue, and they all hug. They look gobsmacked by their surroundings, obviously, and I can’t blame them for that, because it is gorgeous. Drew welcomes them by saying they are sorry to see them there, but also happy to see them there. In other words, sucks to be gone, but hey, let’s have fun! Cut to David & Mary alone where Mary blames David for driving badly, absolutely forgetting she told him to ignore a sign he asked her, the navigator, about. She disparages him some to the others in other cuts about how he went too far because the distance was in kilometers or some such, but I doubt she knows any more than he when it comes to the metric system, ya know? I’m just saying. David explains that traveling is their big disadvantage because they’d never done it before until their recent race experience. Mary tells the group that she just didn’t like how Charla & Mirna were playing the game, going on and on about how they passed David & Mary, and she would never have done that, but would have gone right to the finish line with a friend. She explains this in detail, but oddly enough, never mentions that it was more about how they treated others, which she now claims in her interview. Selective memory? You decide. Mary meanders some about the teams need to be the best of the best and know in their hearts that they don’t need help to win, etc. What a silly statement, especially in light of the fact that all she does is beg help from other teams. Jill leads her up to their room, saying they were saving it for the first married couple to show up at Conjunct... er Elimination Station. Mary & David are awed. Cut to the pool at night where the six of them discuss who they think will be next. Drew jokes not Teri & Ian, not because he thinks they’re good, apparently, but because they get on his nerves. Mary can’t stop laughing about that. Everyone toasts. Pit Stop Cam For something billed as “every week,” we are 2 for 3 for weeks NOT having clips. Mat Chats Dustin & Kandice: Phil eyebrows his way to admitting they are still team number four, and the girls squeal happily. Kandice explains how they looked for the clue along the river while rafting. Heh. The girls admit this leg was a bad one for them, mistake-wise. Phil asks who they would like to see go to better their chances. Dustin says Rob & Amber have always been really far ahead, so they haven’t actually really raced with the Dynamic Duo, hardly ever seeing them, even. They say they’re making mistakes, but finally getting into their groove. Phil jokes about them making blonde mistakes, freely admitting he’s blonde too, and the girls both quip they’re embarrassed to admit some they’ve made this leg. It’s all refreshingly mature how positive and self-aware these two still are, admitting mistakes, owning up to their own race, and so on. Joe & Bill: Go watch this one. I just seriously am in love with these two. This is a truly in love and happy pair, and it just makes me all warm and tingly inside. Bill’s only wearing his Guido vest, so Phil jokes about all the skin he’s seeing at the mat today, and Bill takes the vest off. He lets Phil revel in the 56-year old bod. He does admit to making mistakes, such as missing words of the clue, and while he talks, Joe makes him put his Guido vest on to stay warm. IT’S SO CUTE. They actually found a “La Machina” spot without having the Petrohue part of the clue, but quickly realized it was wrong. They turned around, we’re told, and ran into Charla & Mirna who were screaming at people on the sidewalk. Heh. Joe figures they would have been last without Charla & Mirna, and Bill claims to have been worried about finding Phil at all. They joke they’re glad they missed the “opportunity” to be eliminated, and they are sure they can make up lost time. Phil asks how much it means to be in it still, and they are sort of happily sobbing and hugging and such and talking about how they’ve got each other and have already won. And ya know what? This isn’t contrived at all. This is genuine, heartfelt emotion and they mean it, and not in a way that makes me want to scream “then get off my TV” because they still want to win, and they still race hard, and they still know they’re on a race, but if they lose, it’s not the end of the world, because they’ll still be hugging and making me tear up! One of them mentions it’s been twenty years for the two of them. Impressive! Phil obviously agrees, and he asks them what the secret is. The answer is glaringly simple, of course, as many great truths are, but surprisingly complex in execution, as most of us find out. They agree that being each others best friend is the key. Lovers and sex are all grand, but you want to spend your life with your best friend. Preach it, dudes, that’s just so accurate. They kiss, they hug and kiss Phil, and Bill mentions his Dalai Lama still works, holding up something on a chain around his neck. Apparently he got it in Thailand on the first race? Anyway, it works! Charla & Mirna: Mirna raves about the view, but then says it’s freezing and snowing and they’re in bathing suits! Okay first off, not snowing. Let’s get it straight. There is visible snow from where they are standing, but it’s not like it’s snowing on her in her swimsuit. Charla is pumped about the white water rafting, and Mirna calls it a wet and wild ride, proving that clichés involving nail polish brands are all the rage. Charla says she couldn’t do it without Mirna, that they are a heckuva team. Mirna wants everyone out of the race, to answer Phil’s question. Phil asks if it’s possible for them to keep going. They believe so. She then meanders about how it’s been three whole years since their race, and everyone else just finished doing it and have told her how easy it is for them to just stay in the zone. Basically, she’s claiming that she’s from so early on in the series that it’s harder for them, because they have a learning curve to relearn. I call BS. Of the two teams JUST finishing, one just got eliminated, and one is just an excellent team. There are plenty of people from one, two, three or more years racing, so this isn’t a valid rationale at all. And even the two that just finished, they ended taping in June and started up again in November. It’s not like they slept for two weeks then hopped over to Miami to start anew, ya know? Phil asks how people are different this time. Charla mentions how they push themselves to the limit to compete. Mirna rants about how cutthroat everyone is and that everyone is experienced and competitive. She decides they can’t be Mr. Nice Guy forever (were you ever?), and they are going to change their strategy. She then says that if people thought they were cutthroat before, they have another thing coming, basically. Phil asks for their cutthroat look. Charla does a good blank staredown. Mirna just looks crazy then claims she smiles too much to do a good cutthroat look. Oh, and it’s because she’s married that she smiles so much. She hopes Phil doesn’t mind. He says he’s thrilled for her, but jokes that he was hurt he wasn’t invited. Mirna is aghast, stating her husband would never have allowed him there. What sort of freak is he then? Were no men allowed at this because everyone wants a piece of his woman or something? Right. If I haven’t mentioned it before, I think these two are seven ways til Sunday bat-guano crazy. David & Mary: David chokes up as he talks about what a good day they had up until their wrong turn. He even touched fish, and he hates fish! They figure they did three hours round trip out of their way. Ouch. Phil says he heard David was great with the fish, and David looks cutely bashful. Phil asks how Mary explains the experience to others. She believes there is no way to explain it, really, and she’s all “wow”. She jokes, I think, that they got to go to the moon. Phil asks how they cope with people making judgments about them. They do not care what others think. They are good people, and if you like them, you like them, and if you don’t, you don’t. While I applaud this on some levels, you can be TOO adamant and stubborn in this belief which leads to a certain sort of blindness about yourself and potential faults. We ALL have room to improve. They go on a bit about how they’re good people and people where they are from are good, down-to-earth people. Phil asks Mary if she’s still in love with David. She says yes. Phil follows up with questions on how their life has changed from the last race to know and with Rosie O’Donnell’s generosity and such. Mary pulls her “aw gee shucks, we’re just normal people, we’re fans” routine. They are the biggest fans of no less than three reality shows (Survivor, The Amazing Race, and Big Brother), so this was a lifetime chance. They are in complete shock over the Rosie deal and how generous she was. I am always impressed by Rosie’s generosity, but I must admit, she slipped in my opinion when I read that she feels American Idol is “weightist” and “sexist” because of the Antonella/Frenchie debacle. I don’t watch the show, but seriously, these were two entirely different situations and that Frenchie was fat and black had NOTHING to do with the price of teabags in Thailand, ya know? So, anyway, Rosie=good people, but also=too quick to make snap judgments. Episode Clips Run, Danny, Run: Oswald’s in the back of the car talking about how everyone ran out of the airport earlier, but Danny corrects him, stating that Kentucky had a map. He also gives David mad props about the fish. Oswald agrees and adds Teri to the list of fish stars. Danny agrees. He respects his fellow fishers, he says. Oswald promises to learn how to drive when they get back to Miami. Well, he says Miami, and they laugh like he made an “oops” and say “the States.” Oswald goes on to say that he will make Danny do cardio though. Danny’s okay with that, but says slipper fish plus running is not a good combination. Amen, brother. Danny decides no more fish for awhile; he’s going back to shellfish and meat. Bouncy, Bouncy: Uchenna & Joyce bounce about in their vehicle. Uchenna says it takes a toll on the body, but it’s fun and they rarely would have a chance to do this again. Joyce laughs and proclaims eagerness for a flat surface. She mentions using the rollbar to help her control her bouncing and save her buttcheeks. Uchenna hopes they don’t have to use the rollbar for real. Joyce praises him for driving better. Uchenna’s happy with a compliment first thing in the morning. Toll Stress: Joyce digs around in her coin purse or somesuch while Uchenna gets directions from a tollbooth worker. He wants a slip of paper she can’t find, and he’s a bit snippy and exasperated. They pull away finally, and she tells him not to yell (he really didn’t). She says she’s getting money and all these other things, but he says she knew they’d need the paper. So yes, he was frustrated at her for not having the paper ready, but he sort of snipped, and she sort of sniped and then they were done. The way big boys and girls argue. They’re Touching My Boobs: Joyce drives while cracking up at Uchenna for the just-completed fish task. She also chortles thinking about Danielle. Danielle apparently kept freaking out that “they’re touching my boobs!” Meaning the fish. Like the fish were feeling her up and not leaving dollar bill tips or something. She also laughs because Uchenna screamed once or twice. Uchenna freely admits he screamed like a woman, but he suctions his hands on Joyce a few times and explains that’s what the fish felt like. Joyce is all “you were squealing like Danielle!” and admits the running part would have been hard, but claims she would have quickly gotten past the “ew fish” part. Maturity 101: So, David & Mary are in their car, and David explains to Mary that he told Charla & Mirna that they didn’t want an alliance because they are afraid of holding anyone back. Now remember their performance last season. This is a very real possibility. He claims that Charla told him that the most fun they had of both seasons was racing with David & Mary, so he figures they’re still friends. Cut to Team Pyscho Insane Hosebeasts with Entitlement Issues and Too Much Gluesniffing: Mirna proclaims she asked David what was wrong, and when he said what he said, she just knew it was actually the opposite, that he really meant that Charla & Mirna would hold them down, because, you see, in case you’d forgotten, Charla & Mirna have a handicap. Mirna is crazy. Er, I mean, Charla is short. Poor, dramatic Mirna bemoans that they are, of course, the slower team (reveling now in their slowness), and how no one (sob) wants to ally with them. She pulls out her inner strength and fortitude and soldiers on, however, as she states that they don’t need an alliance anyway. The friends they make along the way, she pontificates, are much more valuable because they know the area. Darling? Friends aren’t friends just because they offer extrinsic value to you in the form of information that will get you closer towards a million dollars that you won’t share with them because you don’t know their name, and actually don’t care about them, and because they don’t want you to know their names, because they’re scared you’ll come back and hurt them or throw another purse full of money at them then sob. Anyway, I believe David & Mary were being truthful, insofar as what he said, but that he left the bit out about being mad at them over being passed. Seriously, why couldn’t we have had a first ever double-elimination leg? One Stingray Coming Up: Mary mentions how many firsts she’s had during these races, and that she found out the one big thing, which is that no matter what, she can do anything. She’s still afraid, but she can put fear aside, and she needs to do that for her kids. She tells David they’re taking the kids to the ocean, and he can catch a fish with his bare hands for them. He tells her that might be hard because those were flounders, and they live on the ocean floor. She asks why he can’t get them. He’s driving, so he can’t exactly turn around and gaze incredulously at her, but I did it for him. He again states he can’t go to the bottom of the ocean. She says “not the BIG ocean, the LITTLE ocean.” Honest to God. And I have NO clue what she means, except perhaps, not the depths of the ocean, but along the shore where it’s shallow? I don’t know. He says to research them, because he’s not sure, and unlike her, he doesn’t want to proclaim knowledge he doesn’t have and look like a bigger idiot on TV. She says to catch a fish with his hands again, and he says if it’s a flounder, and she doesn’t get that he might not be able to tell just by looking at it. I mean seriously, the concept that there might be a similar fish out there eludes her. The concept that touching things you are unfamiliar with and haven’t researched that might be poisonous or biting or whatever totally flies in one ear and out the other. Mary then says she thought they were stingrays and had to ask Eric what they were, because it scared her to death. All Sweatered Up: Mirna & Charla drive, and Mirna is off camera in her sobbing-like voice and we are told that the window is broken and it’s cold. Charla’s a bit cold, and Mirna is telling her to get a sweater on, but Charla has her mind on the race, rightly so, and directs Mirna. She tells Mirna they can go 60 now, and Mirna declaims that they will freeze to death at 60. Charla finds her sweater and puts it on. Crazy, Party of 2: At the airport, everything’s closed and there are three lines to choose from, apparently. Mirna does “eeny, meeny” for it, then makes Charla do it with her, and some how they both wind up pointing at different lines. Mirna decides to flip a coin, and Charla says they need one with three sides. I can’t make this bat-guano up. Seriously. Mirna points at one and marks that as heads. The other two are tails. At which point, I presume, they’d flip between those two? Who knows. Maybe they’d do the hokey pokey. Anyway, it’s heads, so they go over there, but David & Mary are resting over there. Charla is leery. Mirna says that the coin, THE COIN, told them to go there, and should they ignore the coin? I guess it’s one better than “god told us to” and it’s hella more entertaining. Crazy, Party of Rude:Mirna pulls out one of those cheapo folded emergency sleeping bag/blankets from her pack. It’s dark and apparently fairly quiet, except in Charmirnaland where it’s all crinkly, crinkly, yelly yelly, chattery chattery. They give a running narrative as they try to figure out how to use this, and the camera pulls back a bit to show them RIGHT behind Joe & Bill in a line, and everyone around is obviously trying to sleep. Nice. This goes on for a good while. Mirna has a blow-up pillow she starts puffing on. Mirna asks what more can they ask for? Joe & Bill say “Quiet!” in answer and quip that they’re not making a commercial for Serta. They’re semi-laughing, but you can tell they’re serious, and dear gods, I’d’ve shredded that blanket! Crazy, Party of One: Mirna drives as she moans about working her body to the bone. THE BONE! Actually, it’s until her bones break. Nice. Charla wishes she could have done the challenge because Mirna has to do all the driving, and then the hard physical task. Charla takes her turn whining about how they need rest. Mirna just wants to succeed. She knows there will be obstacles, and she will have to carry them sometimes. She whimpers that last time, she did the same thing, and her only sorrow is she didn’t get the recognition she deserves. Charla thinks everyone can see that. Mirna is proud of how hard she works. She doesn’t stop for even one second to catch her breath during the fish task, and her husband will be proud. Right. Whatever. Go away. Outburst Regrets: Right after his outburst, Bill regrets it. He does say that it delayed them just a bit, and now they’re able to follow them some, so instead of being a long ways behind, they’re only like 70 feet or so. However, he does regret the move, and he’s apologized for it. Pity that Eric is showing himself to be so immature this race that he can’t accept that, as you’ll see later. Bill likes to cooperate if it’s a two way street, such as with Dustin & Kandice thus far. Bill admits his temper gets the best of him sometimes. The Dustin & Kandice Non-Argument: Kandice feels Dustin is not paying attention to her navigating and tells her so. Dustin feels like Kandice wasn’t clear enough about her final goal, so Dustin wasn’t sure about the navigating. Kandice says she told her about ten times, and next time, she needs to just trust her. They both admit their part in a communication lapse, and they never let it slow them down. David & Mary’s Parting Words: Mary claims to have treated David better this time. She says at home, she started trying to say “I love you, David” all the time, and he got irritated. Well DUH! It sounds forced and unreal. That’s not good. The spontaneous and the heartfelt. Those are the good “I love you’s.” She first says there are some things about him so annoying you can’t love (bad sign), but then says she’s learned that she can (good sign). I think her biggest fault is in not realizing that love and friendship aren’t these flash-in-the-pan things. You can disagree and still love. You can’t meet and become best friends in two minutes on a race around the world. You can’t expect to always think and do the same thing as friends, but that doesn’t make them enemies. And so on. Yet she’s quick to love and hate and is thus always disappointed in her self-inflicted roller coaster ride. Anyway, they love each other and who they are. They provide a lot of supportive words about one another, which is nice to hear. Rob & Amber, Post-Race: Amber remarks that their biggest strength is their communication skills, and I agree. She also says they’ve done so many stressful situations that they’re hitting their peak with this one, and it’s all coming together. Rob agrees, but denies peaking! He’s in his prime! Also, he’s not worried about other teams. He does get frustrated that there isn’t more of a strategic competition, if I’m understanding him correctly. He feels the competitors mostly lack something in gamesmanship, and tend to stick to a herd. Very true. He and Amber try new angles, take risks, etc. If you stick with the herd, one day your luck will break and you will either shoot to first place that day or to last and be eliminated. I think nothing would disappoint Rob more than to win based off of running around in a pack. I think he’d rather take a risk and have it fail and lose. I like that. He does admit that if others want to work together short-term and it benefits them, obviously they’ll take advantage of that. Who wouldn’t? Ian on Teri, Post-Race: Ian raves about how awesome Teri is. He calls her exceptional and a great life partner for him. He’s impressed with her fish prowess. He admits they’re in the partnership 50/50 so even if she mostly navigates, they work hard to do these things together. He’s still excited about the fish and how she’s twice the age of the competition by and large. Heh. Eric’s List of Immaturity: Last leg, remember that Eric was bitching about Ian? Well, this leg, Ian let Danielle use his pen to write the clue down, and that was enough for Eric to be okay with him again. I’m sure Ian is relieved. Eric claims that Danielle could have remembered it, so it wasn’t necessary, but it was nice. Seriously? I don’t think so. Eric puts Team Guido on his list now, however, for the car issue at the start of the leg. Apparently apologizing for dumbass maneuvers isn’t good enough? That’s a bit childish. Eric finds them whiny and sneaky, and he wants them eliminated because they’re annoying. Okay, so Eric not winning or being close to it means that Eric becomes less the fun guy and more the jerk. Oh, and Danielle is pretty much silent, looking like a Stepford wife in training. There is NO chemistry between these two. Dustin & Kandice, Post-Race: Dustin says the first three legs were draining because of lack of sleep. She also mentions that they didn’t show up on the “scoreboard” until mid-season last time, so they’re just hitting their stride. Kandice feels that last race, they were too overt in their plotting and aggressiveness, so they decided to try to make it more background noise, but that’s hindered their ability to move quickly forward sometimes. It’s a fine line they’re trying to walk. She wants people to still want to help them, not band against them, but she doesn’t want to be held back either. Dustin agrees that they’ve overcompensated and become too cautious. I’m hoping to see that change then!
The Amazing Race: All-Stars, Episode 3, Insider Clips Extravaganza: Things That Make You Go YAY! by Heathyr Ford -- 03/08/2007 This week’s Insider Clips extravaganza is chock full of crazy. Who are the crazy people in question? Do you even have to wonder? Read on to see who’s bat guano nuts. YAY! This week’s elimination made me very happy. If only it were a double-elimination leg, so the last two teams were gone, and I’d’ve been dancing circles in my living room! We’re going to dive right into the clips, because I’m just that kind of girl. Elimination Station Yes, this segment gets “Conjunction Junction” stuck in my head EVERY time I type it. Then, I get hit with the funky music of the intro, and I want to be somewhere warm and tropical with something cold and alcoholic, watching someone hot and mostly naked. We get a quick glimpse of Drew enjoying a massage, then we focus in on the table where the foursome notice two extra places set. They start to hypothesize who it will be, and all four wish, selfishly, for it to be Oswald & Danny for the fun factor. In walk David & Mary, practically on cue, and they all hug. They look gobsmacked by their surroundings, obviously, and I can’t blame them for that, because it is gorgeous. Drew welcomes them by saying they are sorry to see them there, but also happy to see them there. In other words, sucks to be gone, but hey, let’s have fun! Cut to David & Mary alone where Mary blames David for driving badly, absolutely forgetting she told him to ignore a sign he asked her, the navigator, about. She disparages him some to the others in other cuts about how he went too far because the distance was in kilometers or some such, but I doubt she knows any more than he when it comes to the metric system, ya know? I’m just saying. David explains that traveling is their big disadvantage because they’d never done it before until their recent race experience. Mary tells the group that she just didn’t like how Charla & Mirna were playing the game, going on and on about how they passed David & Mary, and she would never have done that, but would have gone right to the finish line with a friend. She explains this in detail, but oddly enough, never mentions that it was more about how they treated others, which she now claims in her interview. Selective memory? You decide. Mary meanders some about the teams need to be the best of the best and know in their hearts that they don’t need help to win, etc. What a silly statement, especially in light of the fact that all she does is beg help from other teams. Jill leads her up to their room, saying they were saving it for the first married couple to show up at Conjunct... er Elimination Station. Mary & David are awed. Cut to the pool at night where the six of them discuss who they think will be next. Drew jokes not Teri & Ian, not because he thinks they’re good, apparently, but because they get on his nerves. Mary can’t stop laughing about that. Everyone toasts. Pit Stop Cam For something billed as “every week,” we are 2 for 3 for weeks NOT having clips. Mat Chats Dustin & Kandice: Phil eyebrows his way to admitting they are still team number four, and the girls squeal happily. Kandice explains how they looked for the clue along the river while rafting. Heh. The girls admit this leg was a bad one for them, mistake-wise. Phil asks who they would like to see go to better their chances. Dustin says Rob & Amber have always been really far ahead, so they haven’t actually really raced with the Dynamic Duo, hardly ever seeing them, even. They say they’re making mistakes, but finally getting into their groove. Phil jokes about them making blonde mistakes, freely admitting he’s blonde too, and the girls both quip they’re embarrassed to admit some they’ve made this leg. It’s all refreshingly mature how positive and self-aware these two still are, admitting mistakes, owning up to their own race, and so on. Joe & Bill: Go watch this one. I just seriously am in love with these two. This is a truly in love and happy pair, and it just makes me all warm and tingly inside. Bill’s only wearing his Guido vest, so Phil jokes about all the skin he’s seeing at the mat today, and Bill takes the vest off. He lets Phil revel in the 56-year old bod. He does admit to making mistakes, such as missing words of the clue, and while he talks, Joe makes him put his Guido vest on to stay warm. IT’S SO CUTE. They actually found a “La Machina” spot without having the Petrohue part of the clue, but quickly realized it was wrong. They turned around, we’re told, and ran into Charla & Mirna who were screaming at people on the sidewalk. Heh. Joe figures they would have been last without Charla & Mirna, and Bill claims to have been worried about finding Phil at all. They joke they’re glad they missed the “opportunity” to be eliminated, and they are sure they can make up lost time. Phil asks how much it means to be in it still, and they are sort of happily sobbing and hugging and such and talking about how they’ve got each other and have already won. And ya know what? This isn’t contrived at all. This is genuine, heartfelt emotion and they mean it, and not in a way that makes me want to scream “then get off my TV” because they still want to win, and they still race hard, and they still know they’re on a race, but if they lose, it’s not the end of the world, because they’ll still be hugging and making me tear up! One of them mentions it’s been twenty years for the two of them. Impressive! Phil obviously agrees, and he asks them what the secret is. The answer is glaringly simple, of course, as many great truths are, but surprisingly complex in execution, as most of us find out. They agree that being each others best friend is the key. Lovers and sex are all grand, but you want to spend your life with your best friend. Preach it, dudes, that’s just so accurate. They kiss, they hug and kiss Phil, and Bill mentions his Dalai Lama still works, holding up something on a chain around his neck. Apparently he got it in Thailand on the first race? Anyway, it works! Charla & Mirna: Mirna raves about the view, but then says it’s freezing and snowing and they’re in bathing suits! Okay first off, not snowing. Let’s get it straight. There is visible snow from where they are standing, but it’s not like it’s snowing on her in her swimsuit. Charla is pumped about the white water rafting, and Mirna calls it a wet and wild ride, proving that clichés involving nail polish brands are all the rage. Charla says she couldn’t do it without Mirna, that they are a heckuva team. Mirna wants everyone out of the race, to answer Phil’s question. Phil asks if it’s possible for them to keep going. They believe so. She then meanders about how it’s been three whole years since their race, and everyone else just finished doing it and have told her how easy it is for them to just stay in the zone. Basically, she’s claiming that she’s from so early on in the series that it’s harder for them, because they have a learning curve to relearn. I call BS. Of the two teams JUST finishing, one just got eliminated, and one is just an excellent team. There are plenty of people from one, two, three or more years racing, so this isn’t a valid rationale at all. And even the two that just finished, they ended taping in June and started up again in November. It’s not like they slept for two weeks then hopped over to Miami to start anew, ya know? Phil asks how people are different this time. Charla mentions how they push themselves to the limit to compete. Mirna rants about how cutthroat everyone is and that everyone is experienced and competitive. She decides they can’t be Mr. Nice Guy forever (were you ever?), and they are going to change their strategy. She then says that if people thought they were cutthroat before, they have another thing coming, basically. Phil asks for their cutthroat look. Charla does a good blank staredown. Mirna just looks crazy then claims she smiles too much to do a good cutthroat look. Oh, and it’s because she’s married that she smiles so much. She hopes Phil doesn’t mind. He says he’s thrilled for her, but jokes that he was hurt he wasn’t invited. Mirna is aghast, stating her husband would never have allowed him there. What sort of freak is he then? Were no men allowed at this because everyone wants a piece of his woman or something? Right. If I haven’t mentioned it before, I think these two are seven ways til Sunday bat-guano crazy. David & Mary: David chokes up as he talks about what a good day they had up until their wrong turn. He even touched fish, and he hates fish! They figure they did three hours round trip out of their way. Ouch. Phil says he heard David was great with the fish, and David looks cutely bashful. Phil asks how Mary explains the experience to others. She believes there is no way to explain it, really, and she’s all “wow”. She jokes, I think, that they got to go to the moon. Phil asks how they cope with people making judgments about them. They do not care what others think. They are good people, and if you like them, you like them, and if you don’t, you don’t. While I applaud this on some levels, you can be TOO adamant and stubborn in this belief which leads to a certain sort of blindness about yourself and potential faults. We ALL have room to improve. They go on a bit about how they’re good people and people where they are from are good, down-to-earth people. Phil asks Mary if she’s still in love with David. She says yes. Phil follows up with questions on how their life has changed from the last race to know and with Rosie O’Donnell’s generosity and such. Mary pulls her “aw gee shucks, we’re just normal people, we’re fans” routine. They are the biggest fans of no less than three reality shows (Survivor, The Amazing Race, and Big Brother), so this was a lifetime chance. They are in complete shock over the Rosie deal and how generous she was. I am always impressed by Rosie’s generosity, but I must admit, she slipped in my opinion when I read that she feels American Idol is “weightist” and “sexist” because of the Antonella/Frenchie debacle. I don’t watch the show, but seriously, these were two entirely different situations and that Frenchie was fat and black had NOTHING to do with the price of teabags in Thailand, ya know? So, anyway, Rosie=good people, but also=too quick to make snap judgments. Episode Clips Run, Danny, Run: Oswald’s in the back of the car talking about how everyone ran out of the airport earlier, but Danny corrects him, stating that Kentucky had a map. He also gives David mad props about the fish. Oswald agrees and adds Teri to the list of fish stars. Danny agrees. He respects his fellow fishers, he says. Oswald promises to learn how to drive when they get back to Miami. Well, he says Miami, and they laugh like he made an “oops” and say “the States.” Oswald goes on to say that he will make Danny do cardio though. Danny’s okay with that, but says slipper fish plus running is not a good combination. Amen, brother. Danny decides no more fish for awhile; he’s going back to shellfish and meat. Bouncy, Bouncy: Uchenna & Joyce bounce about in their vehicle. Uchenna says it takes a toll on the body, but it’s fun and they rarely would have a chance to do this again. Joyce laughs and proclaims eagerness for a flat surface. She mentions using the rollbar to help her control her bouncing and save her buttcheeks. Uchenna hopes they don’t have to use the rollbar for real. Joyce praises him for driving better. Uchenna’s happy with a compliment first thing in the morning. Toll Stress: Joyce digs around in her coin purse or somesuch while Uchenna gets directions from a tollbooth worker. He wants a slip of paper she can’t find, and he’s a bit snippy and exasperated. They pull away finally, and she tells him not to yell (he really didn’t). She says she’s getting money and all these other things, but he says she knew they’d need the paper. So yes, he was frustrated at her for not having the paper ready, but he sort of snipped, and she sort of sniped and then they were done. The way big boys and girls argue. They’re Touching My Boobs: Joyce drives while cracking up at Uchenna for the just-completed fish task. She also chortles thinking about Danielle. Danielle apparently kept freaking out that “they’re touching my boobs!” Meaning the fish. Like the fish were feeling her up and not leaving dollar bill tips or something. She also laughs because Uchenna screamed once or twice. Uchenna freely admits he screamed like a woman, but he suctions his hands on Joyce a few times and explains that’s what the fish felt like. Joyce is all “you were squealing like Danielle!” and admits the running part would have been hard, but claims she would have quickly gotten past the “ew fish” part. Maturity 101: So, David & Mary are in their car, and David explains to Mary that he told Charla & Mirna that they didn’t want an alliance because they are afraid of holding anyone back. Now remember their performance last season. This is a very real possibility. He claims that Charla told him that the most fun they had of both seasons was racing with David & Mary, so he figures they’re still friends. Cut to Team Pyscho Insane Hosebeasts with Entitlement Issues and Too Much Gluesniffing: Mirna proclaims she asked David what was wrong, and when he said what he said, she just knew it was actually the opposite, that he really meant that Charla & Mirna would hold them down, because, you see, in case you’d forgotten, Charla & Mirna have a handicap. Mirna is crazy. Er, I mean, Charla is short. Poor, dramatic Mirna bemoans that they are, of course, the slower team (reveling now in their slowness), and how no one (sob) wants to ally with them. She pulls out her inner strength and fortitude and soldiers on, however, as she states that they don’t need an alliance anyway. The friends they make along the way, she pontificates, are much more valuable because they know the area. Darling? Friends aren’t friends just because they offer extrinsic value to you in the form of information that will get you closer towards a million dollars that you won’t share with them because you don’t know their name, and actually don’t care about them, and because they don’t want you to know their names, because they’re scared you’ll come back and hurt them or throw another purse full of money at them then sob. Anyway, I believe David & Mary were being truthful, insofar as what he said, but that he left the bit out about being mad at them over being passed. Seriously, why couldn’t we have had a first ever double-elimination leg? One Stingray Coming Up: Mary mentions how many firsts she’s had during these races, and that she found out the one big thing, which is that no matter what, she can do anything. She’s still afraid, but she can put fear aside, and she needs to do that for her kids. She tells David they’re taking the kids to the ocean, and he can catch a fish with his bare hands for them. He tells her that might be hard because those were flounders, and they live on the ocean floor. She asks why he can’t get them. He’s driving, so he can’t exactly turn around and gaze incredulously at her, but I did it for him. He again states he can’t go to the bottom of the ocean. She says “not the BIG ocean, the LITTLE ocean.” Honest to God. And I have NO clue what she means, except perhaps, not the depths of the ocean, but along the shore where it’s shallow? I don’t know. He says to research them, because he’s not sure, and unlike her, he doesn’t want to proclaim knowledge he doesn’t have and look like a bigger idiot on TV. She says to catch a fish with his hands again, and he says if it’s a flounder, and she doesn’t get that he might not be able to tell just by looking at it. I mean seriously, the concept that there might be a similar fish out there eludes her. The concept that touching things you are unfamiliar with and haven’t researched that might be poisonous or biting or whatever totally flies in one ear and out the other. Mary then says she thought they were stingrays and had to ask Eric what they were, because it scared her to death. All Sweatered Up: Mirna & Charla drive, and Mirna is off camera in her sobbing-like voice and we are told that the window is broken and it’s cold. Charla’s a bit cold, and Mirna is telling her to get a sweater on, but Charla has her mind on the race, rightly so, and directs Mirna. She tells Mirna they can go 60 now, and Mirna declaims that they will freeze to death at 60. Charla finds her sweater and puts it on. Crazy, Party of 2: At the airport, everything’s closed and there are three lines to choose from, apparently. Mirna does “eeny, meeny” for it, then makes Charla do it with her, and some how they both wind up pointing at different lines. Mirna decides to flip a coin, and Charla says they need one with three sides. I can’t make this bat-guano up. Seriously. Mirna points at one and marks that as heads. The other two are tails. At which point, I presume, they’d flip between those two? Who knows. Maybe they’d do the hokey pokey. Anyway, it’s heads, so they go over there, but David & Mary are resting over there. Charla is leery. Mirna says that the coin, THE COIN, told them to go there, and should they ignore the coin? I guess it’s one better than “god told us to” and it’s hella more entertaining. Crazy, Party of Rude:Mirna pulls out one of those cheapo folded emergency sleeping bag/blankets from her pack. It’s dark and apparently fairly quiet, except in Charmirnaland where it’s all crinkly, crinkly, yelly yelly, chattery chattery. They give a running narrative as they try to figure out how to use this, and the camera pulls back a bit to show them RIGHT behind Joe & Bill in a line, and everyone around is obviously trying to sleep. Nice. This goes on for a good while. Mirna has a blow-up pillow she starts puffing on. Mirna asks what more can they ask for? Joe & Bill say “Quiet!” in answer and quip that they’re not making a commercial for Serta. They’re semi-laughing, but you can tell they’re serious, and dear gods, I’d’ve shredded that blanket! Crazy, Party of One: Mirna drives as she moans about working her body to the bone. THE BONE! Actually, it’s until her bones break. Nice. Charla wishes she could have done the challenge because Mirna has to do all the driving, and then the hard physical task. Charla takes her turn whining about how they need rest. Mirna just wants to succeed. She knows there will be obstacles, and she will have to carry them sometimes. She whimpers that last time, she did the same thing, and her only sorrow is she didn’t get the recognition she deserves. Charla thinks everyone can see that. Mirna is proud of how hard she works. She doesn’t stop for even one second to catch her breath during the fish task, and her husband will be proud. Right. Whatever. Go away. Outburst Regrets: Right after his outburst, Bill regrets it. He does say that it delayed them just a bit, and now they’re able to follow them some, so instead of being a long ways behind, they’re only like 70 feet or so. However, he does regret the move, and he’s apologized for it. Pity that Eric is showing himself to be so immature this race that he can’t accept that, as you’ll see later. Bill likes to cooperate if it’s a two way street, such as with Dustin & Kandice thus far. Bill admits his temper gets the best of him sometimes. The Dustin & Kandice Non-Argument: Kandice feels Dustin is not paying attention to her navigating and tells her so. Dustin feels like Kandice wasn’t clear enough about her final goal, so Dustin wasn’t sure about the navigating. Kandice says she told her about ten times, and next time, she needs to just trust her. They both admit their part in a communication lapse, and they never let it slow them down. David & Mary’s Parting Words: Mary claims to have treated David better this time. She says at home, she started trying to say “I love you, David” all the time, and he got irritated. Well DUH! It sounds forced and unreal. That’s not good. The spontaneous and the heartfelt. Those are the good “I love you’s.” She first says there are some things about him so annoying you can’t love (bad sign), but then says she’s learned that she can (good sign). I think her biggest fault is in not realizing that love and friendship aren’t these flash-in-the-pan things. You can disagree and still love. You can’t meet and become best friends in two minutes on a race around the world. You can’t expect to always think and do the same thing as friends, but that doesn’t make them enemies. And so on. Yet she’s quick to love and hate and is thus always disappointed in her self-inflicted roller coaster ride. Anyway, they love each other and who they are. They provide a lot of supportive words about one another, which is nice to hear. Rob & Amber, Post-Race: Amber remarks that their biggest strength is their communication skills, and I agree. She also says they’ve done so many stressful situations that they’re hitting their peak with this one, and it’s all coming together. Rob agrees, but denies peaking! He’s in his prime! Also, he’s not worried about other teams. He does get frustrated that there isn’t more of a strategic competition, if I’m understanding him correctly. He feels the competitors mostly lack something in gamesmanship, and tend to stick to a herd. Very true. He and Amber try new angles, take risks, etc. If you stick with the herd, one day your luck will break and you will either shoot to first place that day or to last and be eliminated. I think nothing would disappoint Rob more than to win based off of running around in a pack. I think he’d rather take a risk and have it fail and lose. I like that. He does admit that if others want to work together short-term and it benefits them, obviously they’ll take advantage of that. Who wouldn’t? Ian on Teri, Post-Race: Ian raves about how awesome Teri is. He calls her exceptional and a great life partner for him. He’s impressed with her fish prowess. He admits they’re in the partnership 50/50 so even if she mostly navigates, they work hard to do these things together. He’s still excited about the fish and how she’s twice the age of the competition by and large. Heh. Eric’s List of Immaturity: Last leg, remember that Eric was bitching about Ian? Well, this leg, Ian let Danielle use his pen to write the clue down, and that was enough for Eric to be okay with him again. I’m sure Ian is relieved. Eric claims that Danielle could have remembered it, so it wasn’t necessary, but it was nice. Seriously? I don’t think so. Eric puts Team Guido on his list now, however, for the car issue at the start of the leg. Apparently apologizing for dumbass maneuvers isn’t good enough? That’s a bit childish. Eric finds them whiny and sneaky, and he wants them eliminated because they’re annoying. Okay, so Eric not winning or being close to it means that Eric becomes less the fun guy and more the jerk. Oh, and Danielle is pretty much silent, looking like a Stepford wife in training. There is NO chemistry between these two. Dustin & Kandice, Post-Race: Dustin says the first three legs were draining because of lack of sleep. She also mentions that they didn’t show up on the “scoreboard” until mid-season last time, so they’re just hitting their stride. Kandice feels that last race, they were too overt in their plotting and aggressiveness, so they decided to try to make it more background noise, but that’s hindered their ability to move quickly forward sometimes. It’s a fine line they’re trying to walk. She wants people to still want to help them, not band against them, but she doesn’t want to be held back either. Dustin agrees that they’ve overcompensated and become too cautious. I’m hoping to see that change then!