Episode 12 Missing Intelligence Award
Survivor: Fiji, Episode 12 Missing Intelligence Award - Apocalypse Averted by Heathyr Fields Ford -- 05/09/2007 Three of the Four Horsemen have been voted out, thanks to the Earlliance. But even though the Earlliance has been playing smart, that doesn’t mean one of them doesn’t deserve this week’s MIA. Will it be silent threat/annoying gnat Stacy? The Four Horsemen finally die, which is somewhat fitting, since they are harbingers of the apocalypse, or a really nasty drink my GS4: Platinum friends made up a few years ago. Yes, you have to be an online, text-based RPGing geek to know what that is. However, to drink the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, you only need five things: a glass with a shot each of jagermeister, goldschlager, rumplemintz, and 151, and an obscene lack of common sense. Hint: do not chase these with lemon drops when you have not drank in ten years and have no clue that lemon drops aren’t just semi-sweet lemonade-like drinks, but actual shots in and of themselves. Double hint: do not do this while wearing a very tight-fitting bodice and then decide you are hot, so you unlace it. Triple hint: you do not recover nearly as well at 30-something as you do at 19. Seriously. My forays into college-style drinking in my 30s aside, I must admit, Survivor is keeping my interest for the most part. Last week, we had Mookie being, well, a mook, what with his bizarre train of thought that justified going through an old man’s gear, bullying said old man, not being smart enough to realize that said old man could kick his proverbial ass, and all that jazz. Anyone else crack the hell up when they plotted and plotted, got all excited like a teenage boy seeing his first centerfold, and then wilted like a daisy when they realized the women were listening? It was like finding the centerfold only to realize it was your mom! I about fell off my couch when they scurried off like little rodents to confront Yau-Man before the women did, only to hear the edit of the women talking that they had no clue what the boys had said! Ah, sweet irony. Well done to Alex for throwing Mookie under the train. But that was all last week, and I was preoccupied and didn’t get an MIA out. So we’ll give last week’s MIA to me. This week, however, I refuse to take it, because I’ve got a cold, and I’m whiny. So there. Stacy amazed me this week! What a hypocritical, ridiculous little girl. First, she’s all over Cassandra as if she hadn’t ever mentioned that Cassandra and Dreamz were virtually useless and would be gone next. Then, she’s all about not feeding Alex and Mookie last week (despite having been an Alex-alliance mate!) and now, she’s all over Alex about wanting to not have a rift?! While I’m sure she’s still reeling from being told that no one wanted to see her after the game, pretty much, that’s still fairly bizarre actions, ya know? Boo seemed pretty silly when he went over to break up the Alex/Stacy convo, but then again, a lot of what he does seems silly. I can’t figure out if he is playing a big lug, or if he IS a big lug. I lean towards the latter. If it’s the former, the man has a career in acting. Oh, and did anyone else find irony in the fact that Dreamz was annoyed by Boo’s talking? Alex, more kudos for trying to throw some wrenches in the works, dude. Your ninja-mode comment served to only get the song “Jackass” stuck in my head (I heart the Bloodhound Gang. They are just so WRONG), especially the first lines about being a “pimped-out Jedi knight,” for some reason. But silly phrases aside, you went out swinging. And not just silly swinging, but you made some intelligent swings on the way down. Cassandra was very unconvincing in her assertions to Yau-Man about the final four, so I don’t blame Yau-Man for being worried. I was on the edge of my seat during the voting, wondering if Alex had pulled it off, and Yau-Man was gone! To every player that denigrated another player this week for “playing to win,” you get an honorable mention Missing Intelligence Award. You shouldn’t sound so surprised over people other than you trying to win a game. Duh. It’s as bad as Amazing Race contestants throwing hissies over strategically used Yields. Grow up! No one is going to hand you a million dollars! (If someone is, please think of me, because I could use it for good, I promise! And I promise not to buy a real green dress, as that’s cruel.) This brings us to Earl: Earl should NEVER have done his little “power rant” after Tribal Council. Nothing says “this is MY alliance for ME” like a rant proclaiming you were right. He should have been thrilled the vote worked out and someone not of his alliance left, and left it at that. His rant only serves to draw unneeded attention to his potential power plays, and thus, it is an extremely unintelligent move which could quite easily alienate his other alliance mates, or at least get their brains a-whirlin’ and decide he should go first. Power is a double-edged sword and walking on the sharpened edge is difficult. Earl also screwed up by sending Boo to draw Stacy back to the main crowd and away from Alex. If it were me, I would point it out to the others and use it as an opportunity to ensure that someone like Boo would vote out Stacy once the alliance had to turn on itself. “Oh, look at her already trying to feel out other options. Gang, if Alex wins immunity, it’s Stacy, okay? I think she’d turn on us.” Then he could tell his core group to vote for Boo (since he’s a bigger physical threat), tell Boo to vote for Stacy, and Stacy and Alex could do what they please. Something like that! Instead, he sends Boo over? Boo? Seriously? Sheesh. In addition, this was another “power man, I’m in charge” move, which totally is not a label you want to throw on yourself, particularly at this juncture. Soon you will be eating yourselves, and you shouldn’t coat yourself in honey, ya know what I mean? So, for all the above, Earl, come on by and pick up your Missing Intelligence Award. Hey, your pack of lemmings might not start thinking until it’s too late, but you shouldn’t give them fodder like that in the first place! The end is almost near. Who will win? I can’t wait!
Survivor: Fiji, Episode 12 Missing Intelligence Award - Apocalypse Averted by Heathyr Fields Ford -- 05/09/2007 Three of the Four Horsemen have been voted out, thanks to the Earlliance. But even though the Earlliance has been playing smart, that doesn’t mean one of them doesn’t deserve this week’s MIA. Will it be silent threat/annoying gnat Stacy? The Four Horsemen finally die, which is somewhat fitting, since they are harbingers of the apocalypse, or a really nasty drink my GS4: Platinum friends made up a few years ago. Yes, you have to be an online, text-based RPGing geek to know what that is. However, to drink the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, you only need five things: a glass with a shot each of jagermeister, goldschlager, rumplemintz, and 151, and an obscene lack of common sense. Hint: do not chase these with lemon drops when you have not drank in ten years and have no clue that lemon drops aren’t just semi-sweet lemonade-like drinks, but actual shots in and of themselves. Double hint: do not do this while wearing a very tight-fitting bodice and then decide you are hot, so you unlace it. Triple hint: you do not recover nearly as well at 30-something as you do at 19. Seriously. My forays into college-style drinking in my 30s aside, I must admit, Survivor is keeping my interest for the most part. Last week, we had Mookie being, well, a mook, what with his bizarre train of thought that justified going through an old man’s gear, bullying said old man, not being smart enough to realize that said old man could kick his proverbial ass, and all that jazz. Anyone else crack the hell up when they plotted and plotted, got all excited like a teenage boy seeing his first centerfold, and then wilted like a daisy when they realized the women were listening? It was like finding the centerfold only to realize it was your mom! I about fell off my couch when they scurried off like little rodents to confront Yau-Man before the women did, only to hear the edit of the women talking that they had no clue what the boys had said! Ah, sweet irony. Well done to Alex for throwing Mookie under the train. But that was all last week, and I was preoccupied and didn’t get an MIA out. So we’ll give last week’s MIA to me. This week, however, I refuse to take it, because I’ve got a cold, and I’m whiny. So there. Stacy amazed me this week! What a hypocritical, ridiculous little girl. First, she’s all over Cassandra as if she hadn’t ever mentioned that Cassandra and Dreamz were virtually useless and would be gone next. Then, she’s all about not feeding Alex and Mookie last week (despite having been an Alex-alliance mate!) and now, she’s all over Alex about wanting to not have a rift?! While I’m sure she’s still reeling from being told that no one wanted to see her after the game, pretty much, that’s still fairly bizarre actions, ya know? Boo seemed pretty silly when he went over to break up the Alex/Stacy convo, but then again, a lot of what he does seems silly. I can’t figure out if he is playing a big lug, or if he IS a big lug. I lean towards the latter. If it’s the former, the man has a career in acting. Oh, and did anyone else find irony in the fact that Dreamz was annoyed by Boo’s talking? Alex, more kudos for trying to throw some wrenches in the works, dude. Your ninja-mode comment served to only get the song “Jackass” stuck in my head (I heart the Bloodhound Gang. They are just so WRONG), especially the first lines about being a “pimped-out Jedi knight,” for some reason. But silly phrases aside, you went out swinging. And not just silly swinging, but you made some intelligent swings on the way down. Cassandra was very unconvincing in her assertions to Yau-Man about the final four, so I don’t blame Yau-Man for being worried. I was on the edge of my seat during the voting, wondering if Alex had pulled it off, and Yau-Man was gone! To every player that denigrated another player this week for “playing to win,” you get an honorable mention Missing Intelligence Award. You shouldn’t sound so surprised over people other than you trying to win a game. Duh. It’s as bad as Amazing Race contestants throwing hissies over strategically used Yields. Grow up! No one is going to hand you a million dollars! (If someone is, please think of me, because I could use it for good, I promise! And I promise not to buy a real green dress, as that’s cruel.) This brings us to Earl: Earl should NEVER have done his little “power rant” after Tribal Council. Nothing says “this is MY alliance for ME” like a rant proclaiming you were right. He should have been thrilled the vote worked out and someone not of his alliance left, and left it at that. His rant only serves to draw unneeded attention to his potential power plays, and thus, it is an extremely unintelligent move which could quite easily alienate his other alliance mates, or at least get their brains a-whirlin’ and decide he should go first. Power is a double-edged sword and walking on the sharpened edge is difficult. Earl also screwed up by sending Boo to draw Stacy back to the main crowd and away from Alex. If it were me, I would point it out to the others and use it as an opportunity to ensure that someone like Boo would vote out Stacy once the alliance had to turn on itself. “Oh, look at her already trying to feel out other options. Gang, if Alex wins immunity, it’s Stacy, okay? I think she’d turn on us.” Then he could tell his core group to vote for Boo (since he’s a bigger physical threat), tell Boo to vote for Stacy, and Stacy and Alex could do what they please. Something like that! Instead, he sends Boo over? Boo? Seriously? Sheesh. In addition, this was another “power man, I’m in charge” move, which totally is not a label you want to throw on yourself, particularly at this juncture. Soon you will be eating yourselves, and you shouldn’t coat yourself in honey, ya know what I mean? So, for all the above, Earl, come on by and pick up your Missing Intelligence Award. Hey, your pack of lemmings might not start thinking until it’s too late, but you shouldn’t give them fodder like that in the first place! The end is almost near. Who will win? I can’t wait!