Episode 11 - Military Precision
The Amazing Race: All-Stars, Episode 11 - Military Precision by Jenn Brasler -- 04/30/2007 The final four teams travel to Guam, where they wind up in Amazing Race boot camp, performing military-related task. Can Cha3 perform an about-face and keep themselves in the race? Will Charm earn themselves a dishonorable discharge? And will Kandice & Dustin keep up their excellent racing, or are they about to be at ease? Previously on If You Want Karma, Watch My Name is Earl: Four teams traveled from Hong Kong to Macau, China. Cha3 supposedly learned something about karma from selling their Yield to Kandice & Dustin. Can we stop with the karma thing now? Charm had trouble with a noodle Detour, allowing Eric & Danielle to get ahead of them. Cha3 got hopelessly lost. Kandice & Dustin came in first, and though Cha3 were last, we had two non-elimination legs in a row, so there are still four teams left: Kandice & Dustin - Friends/Apparently the only racers who understand the whole Yield thing Charla & Mirna (Charm) - Cousins/Even Charla doesn’t really like Mirna! Eric & Danielle - Dating/Shut up already, Eric Oswald & Danny (Cha3) - Friends/Karma is the least of their problems Macau is foggy. Not the best day for the camera guys to take their “pretty shots of this Pit Stop’s country.” Will Cha3 be able to make the final four, or are Eric & Danielle mad enough to get rid of them? Dustin & Kandice leave at 2:15 a.m., heading for Guam. Once they take a ferry back to Hong Kong and fly to Guam, they must go to a military base and get a military escort to an air-traffic control tower. Ooh, military escort! It’s not every day you get one of those. Dustin says it’s do or die - you either race well or go home. They know what it’s like to go home at this point (they came in fourth on their season), and they don’t want to have to do that again. They manage to get a ferry that leaves at 3 a.m. Charm leave at 2:50 a.m. Charla interviews that she was hesitant to come back to the race because it’s challenging for her body. It’s also scary to compete against the best racers from the show. Maybe we should put “best” in quotation marks. Charla continues that you have to be tough; it’s the only way to play the game. Charm arrive at the ferry just before the 3 a.m. boat leaves, but the line is too long and they don’t make it. This gives Kandice & Dustin an hour lead. Eric & Danielle leave at 3:06 a.m. They’re already bickering. Fun. Eric says this has been a long road, and they didn’t come this far to lose. Well, someone has to. They meet up with Charm and see that there’s no sign of Kandice & Dustin. They wonder if they might have gone to the airport to research flights. Mirna says that according to Charla, Kandice & Dustin don’t know how to use Internet. Charla say she never said that, it’s just that she’s never seen them use the Internet. Elsewhere, Dustin & Kandice get a cab, guessing the boat behind them is only halfway to land. Cha3 leave an hour and a half later. Wow, that’s not good. Oswald explains that they’re marked for elimination. He says karma slapped them around on the last leg, but they asked the universe for forgiveness and hope things will go their way. Charm and Eric & Danielle get cabs. Mirna uses her Armenian accent to ask the driver to use his cell phone to call the airport. She asks him how to say “airport” and mentions that you need to use the right accent. Ha! Cha3 get a 6 a.m. ferry. There’s no sign of the other teams. Cha3 are sure they’re already running around the Hong Kong airport. Nope, just Kandice & Dustin, who are getting tickets as Mirna makes a phone call to the airport. Both teams reserve tickets for a 9:05 a.m. flight that lands in Guam about 12 hours later. Danielle hopes she and Eric can get a good flight since they keep having such bad airplane luck. Eric notes that one of the teams still in the race will be out before the finals. Dustin & Kandice celebrate their success as Charm arrive and get info about the same flight. Kandice & Dustin meet up with Eric & Danielle and tell Eric that he looks buff. Eric asks for the same flight info, causing Kandice to joke that this what happens when you’re first - you do all the work and the other teams say, “I’ll have what they had.” Heh. Cha3 head to the airport. Mirna says the first three teams are all on the same flight, and Cha3, might be, too, if they get there in time. There are about ten minutes before boarding, so Cha3 have about five minutes to get tickets. The other teams have already boarded and Eric hopes Cha3 got lost and the other ferries were cancelled. Cha3 can’t make the flight, but the next one leaves at 10:15 a.m. However, they won’t have much time to make their connecting flight in Tokyo. No, Cha3! Have you learned nothing from Uchenna & Joyce? The teams all head to Guam via Tokyo. Kandice & Dustin tell Charm they haven’t seen Cha3. Later, Cha3 land and hurry to get on the connecting flight. The other teams wonder where they are. They’re all a little giddy at the possibility of getting a huge lead. Cha3 manage to make the flight, so they’re happy and everyone else is ticked off. Eric hates them, blah blah blah. Oswald says they weren’t sure if they’d landed in Japan or Alaska, since the other teams’ receptions made things so chilly. Guam, however, isn’t cold at all. Cha3 get the first cab from the airport, followed by Charm, who are just glad to be ahead of Dustin & Kandice. However, at the military base, a sign tells Cha3 that they can’t leave until 7 a.m. Equalizer, ho! In the morning, Eric talks more about wanting to beat Cha3. At 7 a.m., the teams grab military escorts, and surprisingly, Cha3 grab a female escort rather than looking for the hottest guy. The soldiers appear to be American. Dustin asks her and Kandice’s if it’s inspiring to work there; it is. Dustin & Kandice arrive at the tower first and say they feel like they’re in boot camp because they have to run up a flight of stairs. The other teams are right behind them. Kandice & Dustin are first to the clue box and get a Detour. The choices are Care Package and Engine Care. In Care Package, teams go to warehouse to help with a humanitarian relief effort. They have to fill a box with 500 pounds of essential supplies, then board a cargo plane and experience an air-drop training experience. Cool! It’s not physically difficult, but it takes 30 minutes. In Engine Care, teams have to clean a bomber jet. Kandice & Dustin think Care Package will take too long, so they pick Engine Care. Eric & Danielle are right after them, and Danielle thinks Care Package will take too long because the planes are so big. As we soon learn, they pick that one anyway. Next are Cha3, who pick Engine Care. Charm finally make it up the stairs and pick Care Package. Charla explains that they chose that because she likes to help people in need. Makes sense to me. At their bombers, Dustin & Kandice, Danielle & Eric, and Cha3 suit up in jumpsuits. Mirna tries to get Charla to run faster. They start loading up their box, Charla carrying the heavy stuff, which is par for the course with her. They’re just throwing the stuff in, and a nearby officer tells them to do it with some love. Cha3 are surprised that Eric & Danielle are at Engine Care. Dustin & Kandice address the sergeant judging the teams’ scrubbing as “sir,” which can’t hurt. Danielle says she would be horrible in the Air Force. Me, too. Danny is worried the sergeant will yell at him. He accidentally sprays him, too. Charla weigh their box, and they have enough stuff. Danielle’s getting tired. The sergeant is all, “You missed a spot” to Dustin & Kandice. Charm are ready to fly. The other teams keep scrubbing as Mirna says she feels like Top Gun. She thinks they looked like little ants approaching plane because so big. They fly. Back at the other planes, the teams scrub, and Dustin & Kandice think they’re done. The sergeant wants some more work, though. Kandice interviews that there was no charming him; “he was all about business.” Their smiles weren’t working and they just had to scrub. Cha3 also think they’re done, but no. Charm are warned that their plane is going to nosedive and they’ll experience zero G. They get their barf bags ready. The plane does indeed nosedive, and I would freak the heck out if I were in it. They have fun, though. When the door opens to drop the package, the note that it’s like a spaceship. Out goes the package, and the task is over. Mirna wants to fly fast. Once a racer, always a racer. Dustin & Kandice are finally done. Their clue sends them to the U.S. Naval Base Guam to get another escort to go to the next clue. Eric & Danielle are the next to think they’re done, and they get the okay from the sergeant. Mirna worries that the plane is moving too slowly. I don’t think anyone else on board cares. They’re kind of working. Cha3 are done, and Oswald tells the sergeant he’s bringing the sergeant home to show his maid how to clean. He has new respect for the people who do this for a living. Charm land and get a bus to take them to car. Kandice & Dustin thank their escort and get back to their car, followed by Eric & Danielle and Cha3. This means Charm are in last place. Mirna is worried because this will be the last elimination before the final three. Danielle notes the same thing; she says it’s nerve-wracking and they don’t want to mess up. Charm get back to their car. Cha3 aren’t sure where they’re going. Charm ask for directions, saying it’s a matter of life and death. Um, whose? Charla says that after you work this hard, you want to be rewarded. Dustin & Kandice get to the base and grab a female officer. They love her uniform, as well as the fact that she has cute nails even though she’s in the Navy. They quickly arrive at the next clue box, a Roadblock. This one requires a team member to take part in a Naval search-and-rescue exercise. That person has to find a “downed pilot” using a GPS device. The pilot will then give the racer new coordinates to a landing zone, where the racer will call a helicopter for extraction and set off a smoke grenade. Dustin takes the task. Eric & Danielle get their next escort. Cha3 find a taxi driver to follow. Dustin explains GPS to us, saying this task is like looking for an Easter basket. Eric & Danielle catch up with Kandice, and Danielle takes the task. Eric notes that it’s more suited for him, but he’s used up all his Roadblocks. Too bad Danielle doesn’t know how to read the GPS device. Charm are being led by “an angel.” They arrive at the Roadblock before Cha3, and Charla takes it, wanting to save the last Roadblock for Mirna. I have no idea why. “God be with you,” Mirna says, telling her not to press any buttons on the device. Charla tells her escort that the Naval officers do great work; no wonder there are military discounts. Okay, then. Danielle and Charla are both lost, but Dustin finds her pilot and plays along like she’s actually rescuing her. Cha3 think they’re heading to a church. Danielle notes that her GPS device says the pilot is nearby, but she doesn’t see him. Look in the bushes, genius. Charla is told not to touch the buttons on her device. Dustin and her rescued pilot run off. Danielle walks through a spider web. Charla has no idea where she’s going. Danielle finds her pilot and gets her new coordinates. Charla keeps pressing buttons. She notes that if she were really in the Navy, she’d be dead. Cha3 get their escort and warn her that they’re a little cuckoo. Dustin arrives to get her helicopter. She gets to speak military lingo and everything. She says her brothers will be really jealous. The helicopter approaches and she sets off her smoke grenade, which emits red smoke. She then gets hoisted into the helicopter. That was a pretty cool Roadblock. As the helicopter approaches the start of the Roadblock, Eric hopes Danielle is in it. Well, of course not. Dustin and a military guy from the helicopter give each other thumbs-up, and it’s pretty cool. She tells Kandice that she would have loved this task. They’re sent to the next Pit Stop, Fort Soledad. You guys, Dustin & Kandice are totally going to make the final three. Yay! Danielle is freaking out. Charla still has no idea what she’s doing. This is good for Cha3, who are just arriving. Oswald takes the task. Danielle cries and says Eric will kill her. Charla touches the buttons again. In the car, Kandice & Dustin talk about how the loved the military stuff; it made them feel patriotic. They arrive at the Pit Stop and sprint up to the mat to meet their pretty greeter. Phil must have had fun during that wait. Dustin & Kandice are the first team to arrive, of course, and they’re also the first team in the final three. They’ve been waiting a long time to hear that. They still have a chance to be the first all-female team to win. Oh, and they’ve won ATVs. Phil asks them if they have any idea how many toys they’ve won so far. Seriously. Danielle is still crying. Charla wonders what’s taking so long. Oswald is near his pilot but doesn’t see him. Charla keeps wandering. Danielle says she and Eric won’t be in the final three because of her. More wandering around. Charla finds her pilot and gets her new coordinates. She hopes she’s not walking through poison ivy. Ooh, good thing to worry about. I probably wouldn’t have even thought about that. Oswald spots his pilot standing around nonchalantly, drinking water. The pilot says his camouflage is good. Danielle reaches the landing zone and gets her helicopter. Charla takes a spill but is okay. Danielle lands, much to Eric’s delight. I think that was a good Roadblock for her to do, because it’s not something she would normally do, and she fought through it and succeeded. Charla and Oswald search for the landing zone, and it’s Charla who arrives first. Oswald is right nearby and says, “The Teletubbies go to war.” I… guess that’s funny? Not his best joke. Charla flies back, then Oswald. Mirna and Danny see a helicopter approaching and each hopes his or her team member is inside. It’s Charla, of course, so Cha3 are once again in last place. Danny hugs Charm and they head off to the Pit Stop. Oswald arrives shortly after and he and Danny head off. They get ready to throw a tantrum on the mat and tell Phil they want to stay. Montage of the three teams heading for the Pit Stop. Eric & Danielle arrive first, and they’re the second team in the final three. Phil notes this is the farthest Danielle has ever come on the race, and she’s beaten out some tough teams. Eric is proud, not least because she’s withstood their bickering. So now it’s down to Charm and Cha3 racing for third place. Charm arrive third, which means for the first time, there are two all-female teams in the final three. And one of them is Charm. What the heck? Sadly, Cha3 are fourth to the Pit Stop, and sadly, just like in their original season, they’re eliminated in fourth place. They’re sad to hear it, but they had a great time. They would love for Charm to win because they think they’re classy. Um, okay. Phil asks if they have any regrets. “No regrets, darling,” Danny says. Oswald says they ran the way they wanted and had an amazing time. Oswald continues that many books will be written about him and Danny, and the race will just be a paragraph. Well, two. Danny amends that to two chapters. He interviews that to survive this twice makes him think he and Oswald will be friends forever. He’ll be pushing Oswald into the gay nursing home he’s going to open up. Oswald hopes Danny won’t be talking as much then so he can’t interrupt Oswald anymore. I don’t want them to go! Now there’s only one team left that I like! Time for the time-honored montage of the final teams declaring their desire to win. Kandice: “We’ll win!” Mirna: “No, we will!” Danielle: “No, we will!” Kandice says she and Dustin want to be the first all-female team to win. Charla warns the others to watch out for her and Mirna. Eric just wants to win; no second place for him again. Charla says she and Mirna will knock off Dustin & Kandice’s crowns. Dustin says it’s do or die. Mirna totally sounds rehearsed when she says that if we thought it was crazy before, we haven’t seen anything yet. Next week, on the season finale: whitewater rafting. Kandice & Dustin bicker. Yeah, the first and last time they ever bickered, it was very calm and ended in about five minutes, so I’m not too worried. There’s swimming. There’s driving. There’s flying. So… nothing out of the ordinary there. It looks like they might be in Hawaii at some point.
The Amazing Race: All-Stars, Episode 11 - Military Precision by Jenn Brasler -- 04/30/2007 The final four teams travel to Guam, where they wind up in Amazing Race boot camp, performing military-related task. Can Cha3 perform an about-face and keep themselves in the race? Will Charm earn themselves a dishonorable discharge? And will Kandice & Dustin keep up their excellent racing, or are they about to be at ease? Previously on If You Want Karma, Watch My Name is Earl: Four teams traveled from Hong Kong to Macau, China. Cha3 supposedly learned something about karma from selling their Yield to Kandice & Dustin. Can we stop with the karma thing now? Charm had trouble with a noodle Detour, allowing Eric & Danielle to get ahead of them. Cha3 got hopelessly lost. Kandice & Dustin came in first, and though Cha3 were last, we had two non-elimination legs in a row, so there are still four teams left: Kandice & Dustin - Friends/Apparently the only racers who understand the whole Yield thing Charla & Mirna (Charm) - Cousins/Even Charla doesn’t really like Mirna! Eric & Danielle - Dating/Shut up already, Eric Oswald & Danny (Cha3) - Friends/Karma is the least of their problems Macau is foggy. Not the best day for the camera guys to take their “pretty shots of this Pit Stop’s country.” Will Cha3 be able to make the final four, or are Eric & Danielle mad enough to get rid of them? Dustin & Kandice leave at 2:15 a.m., heading for Guam. Once they take a ferry back to Hong Kong and fly to Guam, they must go to a military base and get a military escort to an air-traffic control tower. Ooh, military escort! It’s not every day you get one of those. Dustin says it’s do or die - you either race well or go home. They know what it’s like to go home at this point (they came in fourth on their season), and they don’t want to have to do that again. They manage to get a ferry that leaves at 3 a.m. Charm leave at 2:50 a.m. Charla interviews that she was hesitant to come back to the race because it’s challenging for her body. It’s also scary to compete against the best racers from the show. Maybe we should put “best” in quotation marks. Charla continues that you have to be tough; it’s the only way to play the game. Charm arrive at the ferry just before the 3 a.m. boat leaves, but the line is too long and they don’t make it. This gives Kandice & Dustin an hour lead. Eric & Danielle leave at 3:06 a.m. They’re already bickering. Fun. Eric says this has been a long road, and they didn’t come this far to lose. Well, someone has to. They meet up with Charm and see that there’s no sign of Kandice & Dustin. They wonder if they might have gone to the airport to research flights. Mirna says that according to Charla, Kandice & Dustin don’t know how to use Internet. Charla say she never said that, it’s just that she’s never seen them use the Internet. Elsewhere, Dustin & Kandice get a cab, guessing the boat behind them is only halfway to land. Cha3 leave an hour and a half later. Wow, that’s not good. Oswald explains that they’re marked for elimination. He says karma slapped them around on the last leg, but they asked the universe for forgiveness and hope things will go their way. Charm and Eric & Danielle get cabs. Mirna uses her Armenian accent to ask the driver to use his cell phone to call the airport. She asks him how to say “airport” and mentions that you need to use the right accent. Ha! Cha3 get a 6 a.m. ferry. There’s no sign of the other teams. Cha3 are sure they’re already running around the Hong Kong airport. Nope, just Kandice & Dustin, who are getting tickets as Mirna makes a phone call to the airport. Both teams reserve tickets for a 9:05 a.m. flight that lands in Guam about 12 hours later. Danielle hopes she and Eric can get a good flight since they keep having such bad airplane luck. Eric notes that one of the teams still in the race will be out before the finals. Dustin & Kandice celebrate their success as Charm arrive and get info about the same flight. Kandice & Dustin meet up with Eric & Danielle and tell Eric that he looks buff. Eric asks for the same flight info, causing Kandice to joke that this what happens when you’re first - you do all the work and the other teams say, “I’ll have what they had.” Heh. Cha3 head to the airport. Mirna says the first three teams are all on the same flight, and Cha3, might be, too, if they get there in time. There are about ten minutes before boarding, so Cha3 have about five minutes to get tickets. The other teams have already boarded and Eric hopes Cha3 got lost and the other ferries were cancelled. Cha3 can’t make the flight, but the next one leaves at 10:15 a.m. However, they won’t have much time to make their connecting flight in Tokyo. No, Cha3! Have you learned nothing from Uchenna & Joyce? The teams all head to Guam via Tokyo. Kandice & Dustin tell Charm they haven’t seen Cha3. Later, Cha3 land and hurry to get on the connecting flight. The other teams wonder where they are. They’re all a little giddy at the possibility of getting a huge lead. Cha3 manage to make the flight, so they’re happy and everyone else is ticked off. Eric hates them, blah blah blah. Oswald says they weren’t sure if they’d landed in Japan or Alaska, since the other teams’ receptions made things so chilly. Guam, however, isn’t cold at all. Cha3 get the first cab from the airport, followed by Charm, who are just glad to be ahead of Dustin & Kandice. However, at the military base, a sign tells Cha3 that they can’t leave until 7 a.m. Equalizer, ho! In the morning, Eric talks more about wanting to beat Cha3. At 7 a.m., the teams grab military escorts, and surprisingly, Cha3 grab a female escort rather than looking for the hottest guy. The soldiers appear to be American. Dustin asks her and Kandice’s if it’s inspiring to work there; it is. Dustin & Kandice arrive at the tower first and say they feel like they’re in boot camp because they have to run up a flight of stairs. The other teams are right behind them. Kandice & Dustin are first to the clue box and get a Detour. The choices are Care Package and Engine Care. In Care Package, teams go to warehouse to help with a humanitarian relief effort. They have to fill a box with 500 pounds of essential supplies, then board a cargo plane and experience an air-drop training experience. Cool! It’s not physically difficult, but it takes 30 minutes. In Engine Care, teams have to clean a bomber jet. Kandice & Dustin think Care Package will take too long, so they pick Engine Care. Eric & Danielle are right after them, and Danielle thinks Care Package will take too long because the planes are so big. As we soon learn, they pick that one anyway. Next are Cha3, who pick Engine Care. Charm finally make it up the stairs and pick Care Package. Charla explains that they chose that because she likes to help people in need. Makes sense to me. At their bombers, Dustin & Kandice, Danielle & Eric, and Cha3 suit up in jumpsuits. Mirna tries to get Charla to run faster. They start loading up their box, Charla carrying the heavy stuff, which is par for the course with her. They’re just throwing the stuff in, and a nearby officer tells them to do it with some love. Cha3 are surprised that Eric & Danielle are at Engine Care. Dustin & Kandice address the sergeant judging the teams’ scrubbing as “sir,” which can’t hurt. Danielle says she would be horrible in the Air Force. Me, too. Danny is worried the sergeant will yell at him. He accidentally sprays him, too. Charla weigh their box, and they have enough stuff. Danielle’s getting tired. The sergeant is all, “You missed a spot” to Dustin & Kandice. Charm are ready to fly. The other teams keep scrubbing as Mirna says she feels like Top Gun. She thinks they looked like little ants approaching plane because so big. They fly. Back at the other planes, the teams scrub, and Dustin & Kandice think they’re done. The sergeant wants some more work, though. Kandice interviews that there was no charming him; “he was all about business.” Their smiles weren’t working and they just had to scrub. Cha3 also think they’re done, but no. Charm are warned that their plane is going to nosedive and they’ll experience zero G. They get their barf bags ready. The plane does indeed nosedive, and I would freak the heck out if I were in it. They have fun, though. When the door opens to drop the package, the note that it’s like a spaceship. Out goes the package, and the task is over. Mirna wants to fly fast. Once a racer, always a racer. Dustin & Kandice are finally done. Their clue sends them to the U.S. Naval Base Guam to get another escort to go to the next clue. Eric & Danielle are the next to think they’re done, and they get the okay from the sergeant. Mirna worries that the plane is moving too slowly. I don’t think anyone else on board cares. They’re kind of working. Cha3 are done, and Oswald tells the sergeant he’s bringing the sergeant home to show his maid how to clean. He has new respect for the people who do this for a living. Charm land and get a bus to take them to car. Kandice & Dustin thank their escort and get back to their car, followed by Eric & Danielle and Cha3. This means Charm are in last place. Mirna is worried because this will be the last elimination before the final three. Danielle notes the same thing; she says it’s nerve-wracking and they don’t want to mess up. Charm get back to their car. Cha3 aren’t sure where they’re going. Charm ask for directions, saying it’s a matter of life and death. Um, whose? Charla says that after you work this hard, you want to be rewarded. Dustin & Kandice get to the base and grab a female officer. They love her uniform, as well as the fact that she has cute nails even though she’s in the Navy. They quickly arrive at the next clue box, a Roadblock. This one requires a team member to take part in a Naval search-and-rescue exercise. That person has to find a “downed pilot” using a GPS device. The pilot will then give the racer new coordinates to a landing zone, where the racer will call a helicopter for extraction and set off a smoke grenade. Dustin takes the task. Eric & Danielle get their next escort. Cha3 find a taxi driver to follow. Dustin explains GPS to us, saying this task is like looking for an Easter basket. Eric & Danielle catch up with Kandice, and Danielle takes the task. Eric notes that it’s more suited for him, but he’s used up all his Roadblocks. Too bad Danielle doesn’t know how to read the GPS device. Charm are being led by “an angel.” They arrive at the Roadblock before Cha3, and Charla takes it, wanting to save the last Roadblock for Mirna. I have no idea why. “God be with you,” Mirna says, telling her not to press any buttons on the device. Charla tells her escort that the Naval officers do great work; no wonder there are military discounts. Okay, then. Danielle and Charla are both lost, but Dustin finds her pilot and plays along like she’s actually rescuing her. Cha3 think they’re heading to a church. Danielle notes that her GPS device says the pilot is nearby, but she doesn’t see him. Look in the bushes, genius. Charla is told not to touch the buttons on her device. Dustin and her rescued pilot run off. Danielle walks through a spider web. Charla has no idea where she’s going. Danielle finds her pilot and gets her new coordinates. Charla keeps pressing buttons. She notes that if she were really in the Navy, she’d be dead. Cha3 get their escort and warn her that they’re a little cuckoo. Dustin arrives to get her helicopter. She gets to speak military lingo and everything. She says her brothers will be really jealous. The helicopter approaches and she sets off her smoke grenade, which emits red smoke. She then gets hoisted into the helicopter. That was a pretty cool Roadblock. As the helicopter approaches the start of the Roadblock, Eric hopes Danielle is in it. Well, of course not. Dustin and a military guy from the helicopter give each other thumbs-up, and it’s pretty cool. She tells Kandice that she would have loved this task. They’re sent to the next Pit Stop, Fort Soledad. You guys, Dustin & Kandice are totally going to make the final three. Yay! Danielle is freaking out. Charla still has no idea what she’s doing. This is good for Cha3, who are just arriving. Oswald takes the task. Danielle cries and says Eric will kill her. Charla touches the buttons again. In the car, Kandice & Dustin talk about how the loved the military stuff; it made them feel patriotic. They arrive at the Pit Stop and sprint up to the mat to meet their pretty greeter. Phil must have had fun during that wait. Dustin & Kandice are the first team to arrive, of course, and they’re also the first team in the final three. They’ve been waiting a long time to hear that. They still have a chance to be the first all-female team to win. Oh, and they’ve won ATVs. Phil asks them if they have any idea how many toys they’ve won so far. Seriously. Danielle is still crying. Charla wonders what’s taking so long. Oswald is near his pilot but doesn’t see him. Charla keeps wandering. Danielle says she and Eric won’t be in the final three because of her. More wandering around. Charla finds her pilot and gets her new coordinates. She hopes she’s not walking through poison ivy. Ooh, good thing to worry about. I probably wouldn’t have even thought about that. Oswald spots his pilot standing around nonchalantly, drinking water. The pilot says his camouflage is good. Danielle reaches the landing zone and gets her helicopter. Charla takes a spill but is okay. Danielle lands, much to Eric’s delight. I think that was a good Roadblock for her to do, because it’s not something she would normally do, and she fought through it and succeeded. Charla and Oswald search for the landing zone, and it’s Charla who arrives first. Oswald is right nearby and says, “The Teletubbies go to war.” I… guess that’s funny? Not his best joke. Charla flies back, then Oswald. Mirna and Danny see a helicopter approaching and each hopes his or her team member is inside. It’s Charla, of course, so Cha3 are once again in last place. Danny hugs Charm and they head off to the Pit Stop. Oswald arrives shortly after and he and Danny head off. They get ready to throw a tantrum on the mat and tell Phil they want to stay. Montage of the three teams heading for the Pit Stop. Eric & Danielle arrive first, and they’re the second team in the final three. Phil notes this is the farthest Danielle has ever come on the race, and she’s beaten out some tough teams. Eric is proud, not least because she’s withstood their bickering. So now it’s down to Charm and Cha3 racing for third place. Charm arrive third, which means for the first time, there are two all-female teams in the final three. And one of them is Charm. What the heck? Sadly, Cha3 are fourth to the Pit Stop, and sadly, just like in their original season, they’re eliminated in fourth place. They’re sad to hear it, but they had a great time. They would love for Charm to win because they think they’re classy. Um, okay. Phil asks if they have any regrets. “No regrets, darling,” Danny says. Oswald says they ran the way they wanted and had an amazing time. Oswald continues that many books will be written about him and Danny, and the race will just be a paragraph. Well, two. Danny amends that to two chapters. He interviews that to survive this twice makes him think he and Oswald will be friends forever. He’ll be pushing Oswald into the gay nursing home he’s going to open up. Oswald hopes Danny won’t be talking as much then so he can’t interrupt Oswald anymore. I don’t want them to go! Now there’s only one team left that I like! Time for the time-honored montage of the final teams declaring their desire to win. Kandice: “We’ll win!” Mirna: “No, we will!” Danielle: “No, we will!” Kandice says she and Dustin want to be the first all-female team to win. Charla warns the others to watch out for her and Mirna. Eric just wants to win; no second place for him again. Charla says she and Mirna will knock off Dustin & Kandice’s crowns. Dustin says it’s do or die. Mirna totally sounds rehearsed when she says that if we thought it was crazy before, we haven’t seen anything yet. Next week, on the season finale: whitewater rafting. Kandice & Dustin bicker. Yeah, the first and last time they ever bickered, it was very calm and ended in about five minutes, so I’m not too worried. There’s swimming. There’s driving. There’s flying. So… nothing out of the ordinary there. It looks like they might be in Hawaii at some point.