April 4: If I Ruled the World
American Idol 6, April 4: If I Ruled the World by Jenn Brasler -- 04/05/2007 …Sanjaya would have never made it to the top 12. Melinda and Jordin would both win. Ryan and Simon would play nice. Of course, none of these things can happen, since Jenn doesn’t rule the world. But will the right person be voted out? Last night Tony Bennett gave the top nine some guidance, but he can’t help them now - someone’s on his or her way home. Tonight, we get a live performance from an unnamed singer, and then an Idol will be out of here. First, of course, a recap of last night. It was Opposite Day and I liked Blake more than everyone else. Haley was weird. Chris was kind of cool. Melinda was terrific as always. Sanjaya danced with Paula, and Simon tried reverse psychology on America. Gina continued to be great. Jordin did pretty well herself. Phil annoyed me. LaKisha ignored Tony’s advice. The Ford commercial this week is to “One Love,” and the Idols are working in some tropical rainforest car wash. Because they’re washing a Hybrid, you see. I don’t know. Kermit the Frog has a cameo. Ryan plugs the songwriter contest, which has been pushed back so much that now you only have two weeks to enter. The two finalists will sing the winning song at the finale. The singers have been split into three groups - Jordin, LaKisha, and Melinda; Blake, Chris, and Sanjaya; and Haley, Phil, and Gina. Ryan addresses Blake, Sanjaya, and Chris first, then moves to Gina, Phil, and Haley, who I’m guessing are the bottom three. Ryan still isn’t saying. LaKisha, Jordin, and Melinda are all safe, of course, and Jordin is more than a head taller than both Melinda and LaKisha. Wow. Ryan starts to send us to commercial, then decides to let a few people sit down - indeed, LaKisha, Melinda, and Jordin are all safe. Ryan moves on to Sanjaya, Blake, and Chris, telling them they’re not the top three, but they’re also not the bottom three, and all of them get to stick around. Seriously, America? Seriously? Why you wanna hurt me like this? So Gina, Phil, and Haley are in the bottom three, as many people predicted. But before we find out who’s leaving, we’ll get more commercials, a performance by a “very special person” (the Easter Bunny??), Mother’s Day, the next season of Project Runway, and Paula and Simon’s wedding. Trivia question. It’s A! A for aaaaaand I don’t care. Even Ryan thinks the questions are lame. Heh. Tony Bennett was supposed to perform, but he’s sick, which is too bad. Instead, we get a performance from Michael Bublé. He sings “Call Me Irresponsible.” His hair defies gravity. Just think - next week, when they extend the show to an hour, we’ll get twice as many boring performances! I can’t wait. I think he forgets the words at one point. I guess that means he’s getting eliminated tonight. While chatting with Ryan, Michael plugs his album and advocates stealing your parents’ credit cards to buy it. Nice. He then asks if he’s wasting his votes by still voting for Antonella. Do not speak her name! You will summon her! Ryan is feeling magnanimous, so he decides to send someone to safety. I’m hearing a lot of “Gina”s from the crowd. Instead, it’s Phil who’s safe. Randy says he’s a little surprised to see Haley and Gina in the bottom two. Paula says it’s getting tough at this stage of the competition. She thinks they should both be proud of themselves. Simon, of course, isn’t surprised. I guess Haley’s nice legs don’t mean enough. Gina is scared to death, but Haley looks like she saw this coming. Unfortunately, she’s staying, and Gina is leaving. SO NOT COOL. There’s a lot of booing in the audience. Well, maybe y’all should have voted for her, then. Funeral video! Gina is sad. Jordin and Melinda are sad. Gina’s mom is sad and looks like Candy Finnegan from Intervention. Pickle is sad. Gina is happy about going on tour and thanks the audience for getting her this far. Ryan mumbles something about 8/7 Central and Jennifer Lopez. I guess he’s talking about next week. I can’t even begin to imagine what the theme will be. Sanjaya will probably lose his mind, though. Gina rocks her sing-out like she’s not crying at all. She also gives Jordin a line to sing, but Jordin is crying like someone just bazooka’d her puppy. ‘Bye, Gina! I’ll miss you!
American Idol 6, April 4: If I Ruled the World by Jenn Brasler -- 04/05/2007 …Sanjaya would have never made it to the top 12. Melinda and Jordin would both win. Ryan and Simon would play nice. Of course, none of these things can happen, since Jenn doesn’t rule the world. But will the right person be voted out? Last night Tony Bennett gave the top nine some guidance, but he can’t help them now - someone’s on his or her way home. Tonight, we get a live performance from an unnamed singer, and then an Idol will be out of here. First, of course, a recap of last night. It was Opposite Day and I liked Blake more than everyone else. Haley was weird. Chris was kind of cool. Melinda was terrific as always. Sanjaya danced with Paula, and Simon tried reverse psychology on America. Gina continued to be great. Jordin did pretty well herself. Phil annoyed me. LaKisha ignored Tony’s advice. The Ford commercial this week is to “One Love,” and the Idols are working in some tropical rainforest car wash. Because they’re washing a Hybrid, you see. I don’t know. Kermit the Frog has a cameo. Ryan plugs the songwriter contest, which has been pushed back so much that now you only have two weeks to enter. The two finalists will sing the winning song at the finale. The singers have been split into three groups - Jordin, LaKisha, and Melinda; Blake, Chris, and Sanjaya; and Haley, Phil, and Gina. Ryan addresses Blake, Sanjaya, and Chris first, then moves to Gina, Phil, and Haley, who I’m guessing are the bottom three. Ryan still isn’t saying. LaKisha, Jordin, and Melinda are all safe, of course, and Jordin is more than a head taller than both Melinda and LaKisha. Wow. Ryan starts to send us to commercial, then decides to let a few people sit down - indeed, LaKisha, Melinda, and Jordin are all safe. Ryan moves on to Sanjaya, Blake, and Chris, telling them they’re not the top three, but they’re also not the bottom three, and all of them get to stick around. Seriously, America? Seriously? Why you wanna hurt me like this? So Gina, Phil, and Haley are in the bottom three, as many people predicted. But before we find out who’s leaving, we’ll get more commercials, a performance by a “very special person” (the Easter Bunny??), Mother’s Day, the next season of Project Runway, and Paula and Simon’s wedding. Trivia question. It’s A! A for aaaaaand I don’t care. Even Ryan thinks the questions are lame. Heh. Tony Bennett was supposed to perform, but he’s sick, which is too bad. Instead, we get a performance from Michael Bublé. He sings “Call Me Irresponsible.” His hair defies gravity. Just think - next week, when they extend the show to an hour, we’ll get twice as many boring performances! I can’t wait. I think he forgets the words at one point. I guess that means he’s getting eliminated tonight. While chatting with Ryan, Michael plugs his album and advocates stealing your parents’ credit cards to buy it. Nice. He then asks if he’s wasting his votes by still voting for Antonella. Do not speak her name! You will summon her! Ryan is feeling magnanimous, so he decides to send someone to safety. I’m hearing a lot of “Gina”s from the crowd. Instead, it’s Phil who’s safe. Randy says he’s a little surprised to see Haley and Gina in the bottom two. Paula says it’s getting tough at this stage of the competition. She thinks they should both be proud of themselves. Simon, of course, isn’t surprised. I guess Haley’s nice legs don’t mean enough. Gina is scared to death, but Haley looks like she saw this coming. Unfortunately, she’s staying, and Gina is leaving. SO NOT COOL. There’s a lot of booing in the audience. Well, maybe y’all should have voted for her, then. Funeral video! Gina is sad. Jordin and Melinda are sad. Gina’s mom is sad and looks like Candy Finnegan from Intervention. Pickle is sad. Gina is happy about going on tour and thanks the audience for getting her this far. Ryan mumbles something about 8/7 Central and Jennifer Lopez. I guess he’s talking about next week. I can’t even begin to imagine what the theme will be. Sanjaya will probably lose his mind, though. Gina rocks her sing-out like she’s not crying at all. She also gives Jordin a line to sing, but Jordin is crying like someone just bazooka’d her puppy. ‘Bye, Gina! I’ll miss you!